Names with lots of nicknames are everywhere. It’s why you’re not sure if your new colleague Elizabeth is a Liz or a Beth. And it’s the reason Robert makes a point of saying “please call me Rob” after every introduction.
And yet, parents sometimes raise a wary at eyebrow at nickname-rich names. After all, life is complicated. Having your everyday use match your legal identity? There are plenty of good reasons to embrace this approach.
But names with lots of nicknames come with plenty of benefits, too. So before you drop Margaret, Charles, and Evangeline from your list, consider these ten reasons to embrace nickname-rich choices.
THE UPSIDES OF NICKNAME-RICH NAMES
It frees us to use cute – even cutesy! – short forms.
Not sure if Lulu works on a district attorney? Fretting that Freddie won’t be taken seriously someday?
Put Louisa and Frederick on their birth certificates. And then they can choose a sweet short form for their entire lives … or gracefully grow into their longer name.
Formal names signal the gravity of a special occasion.
In religious and academic ceremonies, a formal name is the equivalent of a well-cut suit.
Make no mistake – Callie can earn a PhD and a Nobel prize, too, but Caroline might be the dressed-up name to engrave on the medal.
It’s worth noting that there’s almost always choice involved. Maybe you’re Max instead of Maximilian at your casual, backyard wedding – but if you’d ended up marrying in a cathedral, Maximilian could have felt like the appropriate choice.
That’s the beauty of names with lots of nicknames – they dress up and down.
Nicknames can honor a loved one while still making space for individual identity.
Naming a child after grandma Betsy is simpler if her given name is Elizabeth. You, too, can write Elizabeth on the birth certificate but call your little girl Eliza.
It can even make a family name dance. Katherine might always the firstborn girl’s name in your family, but Kiki is your daughter.
Formal names can soften a trendy or risky name.
Let’s say you love breezy, modern Jax, but aren’t sure how you’ll feel about it in twenty years.
Naming him John or James Xavier leaves space for Jax to keep his edgy nickname name or change it to Jack or Jamie or James down the road.
Names with lots of nicknames can feel affectionate.
Nickname-rich choices make it easy to distinguish between your public and private selves.
The dentist calls you William. But only your sister knows when you’re Will, Billy, or Bud.
Of course, she might also call you Swamp Monster or Billykins. That’s traditionally how nicknames operated. But there’s plenty of space for names that aren’t quite so out-there to serve as affectionate, in-family kind of terms of endearment.
Sharing names gets a little easier with nickname-rich names.
Two classmates named Ava will always be Ava S. and Ava R.
But two classmates named Isabella might be Isabella and Bella. Or Izzy and Bea. They’ll both have choices.
Names with lots of nicknames function even better in extended families. Maybe you and your brother both want to name your sons after dad. But his Robert answers to Robbie, while yours is always Bo.
Grand or unusual names might become a little more wearable.
Maximilian and Magdalena are mouthfuls. They’re long and traditional names that we all know … but might not immediately spell correctly.
Using a nickname – whether that’s Max or Miles, Meg or Leni – can help make such names feel more accessible.
What if you ARE the nickname type?
Parents sometimes reject names with lots of nicknames because they think they won’t ever shorten their child’s name.
But then they’re holding their sweet, cuddly newborn and finding that Holden is much too grand. Next thing you know, he’s Holdie instead. Or much as you love the name Riley, her slightly older sister can’t call her anything other than Ry-Ry.
What’s wrong with room to grow?
We buy our children’s winter coats with a little room, assuming they’re grow between November and March.
And so that adorable baby Charlie might benefit from having Charles in the back of the closet, ready for when he grows into it.
Names with lots of nicknames preserve your child’s choices.
We name strangers.
Maggie is like a mini skirt – attractive, but there’s not a lot of fabric to work with. But Margaret is a ball gown, with layers to parse: Greta, Margo, Margaret in full. Nickname-rich names offer the gift of easy reinvention.
Where do you stand on names with lots of nicknames?
NAMES WITH LOTS OF NICKNAMES: GIRLS
AMELIA
Amy, Mia, Minnie, Lia, and more
BEATRICE and BEATRIX
Bea, Bebe, Betty, Bix, Trixie, and more
CATHERINE and KATHERINE
Kat, Cate/Kate, Kit, Hettie, and more
ELEANOR and ELINOR
Ellie, Nell, Nola, Nora, and more
ELIZABETH
Betty, Betsy, Ellie, Elise, Liz, Liza, and more
MARGARET
Greta, Maggie, Maisie, Margot, Meg, Rhett, and more
PENELOPE
Lola, Nell, Penny, Poppy, and more
THEODORA
Dora, Dot, Tess, Thea, Thora, and more
VICTORIA
Vica, Vicky, Queenie, Ria, Tori, and more
NAMES WITH LOTS OF NICKNAMES: BOYS
ALEXANDER
Dex, Sasha, Xan, Xander, and more
CHARLES
Arlo, Charlie, Chase, Chuck, Huck, and more
CHRISTOPHER
Chris, Kit, Topher, and more
DOMINIC
Dom, Nick, Nico, and more
EDWARD
Ed, Eddie, Ned, Ward, and more
JAMES
Jamie, Jay, Jem, Jimmy, and more
JONATHAN
Jon, Jono, Nat, Nate, and more
NATHANIEL
Nat, Nate, Niel, Thane, and more
NICHOLAS
Cole, Nick, Nicky, Nico, and more
ROBERT
Beto, Bo, Bobby, Rob, and more
THEODORE
Ted, Teddy, Theo, and more
WILLIAM
Bill, Will, Wills, Wim, and more
MAKING UNCONVENTIONAL NICKNAMES STICK
But wait, you might say: how can I explain that my Charles is a Chase, or my Victoria answers to Queenie?
It takes some effort – and a willingness to speak up. In general, look for opportunities to use and emphasize – whether that’s in conversation or by personally backpacks and other gear. Be willing to gently remind those in your life who need to know – and to ignore situations where it’s less important. And it can help to announce both your child’s name and preferred nickname at birth.
For more tips, check out this article.
Do you like name with lots of nicknames? Which ones are your favorites?
Originally published on August 13, 2013, this post was revised and re-published on October 16, 2021.
My teen’s name is a #4. Honestly, she prefers her full name… but the spelling it can be confusing and it has around 5 “legitimate” pronunciations so a lot of adults (but not kids!) automatically give-up and call her by a nickname.
My daughter has around a million nicknames, it just seems like there’s something about her personality that leads to lots of silly names: Mamie, Meeka, Maisie, Marilla, Mei-Mei, Maria Pia… meanwhile her brother is pretty much just Peter.
I am a sucker for nickname-rich names having grown up with a fairly rigid name myself. My inlaws on the other hand went out of their way to give their children “absolutely nickname proof names”. When their youngest was born they started calling her a diminutive of her middle name because they realized a little late that they regret the lack of options. As someone who had to force a diminutive out of my tailored name, I will be giving my children a longer name that they can play with. If they don’t like it, they can name their own children something short 😉
It’s definitely true that if people are into nicknames they will find a way to make one out of any name. My name is Brooke, which seems fairly nickname proof. When I was young I was often called Brooke-chook, chook or chooka, and over the years I’ve also been called Brooklyn, Brooklet or just plain B. These days most of my close friends call me Brookie. I guess where there’s a will there’s a way, so I understand why a name with plenty of cool nickname options is a good idea 🙂
My daughter has a nickname-rich name, but so far none of them has seemed right. At this point it seems more likely that she’ll end up going by either her full first name, her middle name, or some other unrelated name than by a nickname or diminutive of her first name. I’m one of those people you describe who surprised herself by wanting to have a nickname for each child – I didn’t think I was the nickname type but apparently I am! And like you, it bothers me a bit that no nickname has arisen organically thus far for my daughter – if I started using one now it would feel rather forced, whereas that was never the case with my son. I guess we shall see how it all pans out.
I have chosen Charlie as a nickname with the longer name of Caroline. I don’t love other Char- names so but, Caroline is so smart and elegant and it comes from the same root as Charlotte and Charles so I figured, why not?
All of your points are well-considered. I, myself, have a short two-syllable name, but stopped going by Raya in grade 3 and started going by Rae. I even told people that Rae was short for Rachel because I hated my birth name so much. But when I started college, I did go back to Raya because it felt more grown up. I would like my child, should I ever have any, to have that choice as well.
I think Charlie works for Caroline just fine!
My dad hated being called “Denny” as a kid so he made sure I had a nickname-proof name. But I hated not having any options for changing my name up! (I’m seriously thinking about adding onto my first name to make it more versatile.) As a result, I made sure my kids have names with at least one possible nickname. I guess you can never tell what the next generation will prefer.
My problem as a mom is that I’d really hate to give a child a name that I carefully chose, only to have him or her use a nickname I disliked. There are very many nickname rich names that I love in their full state but I abhore the nicknames. Joseph is a prime example of this. I absolutely love then the name but it would undoubtedly become Joe at some point, which I really can’t stand.
That’s definitely a potential issue, Shannon! I love Josephine, but she’d be Posy to me. Except that I really don’t like Josie, and it is easy to imagine that nickname sticking instead. Always a risk …
As Mom to an Alexander and an Evangeline, part of what attracted us to the names was the flexibility of the names. My husband and I are both people who “reinvented” ourselves, so to speak, at various times in our lives. My husband went by a nickname that had nothing to do with his real name starting a bit in high school, and when he left for college made a fairly clean break to the nickname. He added it as a second middle name when we married.
I went by my nickname (Shari) for most of my life (excepting 6th grade for some reason) until I married. Our last name also starts with “Sha”, so I started going by my full name to break up the alliteration. If I had only be Shari, I wouldn’t have had the option.
We had planned to call our son Alex before he was born, but he turned out to personality-wise be a Xander. As he’s hitting those teen years, he’s chosen to move more toward Alex or his full name. And he can do that as he sees fit. We left it up in the air whether our daughter was going to be an Eva or an Evie, and she has definitively been an Evie so far (so much so if you call her Evangeline, she’ll tell you, “No Evangeline, I Eeee—vieeee!”) but I know that as she grows, she may opt for another nickname or choose to go by her full name.
There’s nothing wrong with not having a nickname, but we prefered the flexibility that longer names provide.
I do not understand the insistence on nicknames or diminutives. My mother is a Virginia who goes by Ginger and my brother is a Douglas who goes by Doug, but other than that my parents were not big on them. My sisters Eleanor and Caroline have never gone by anything other than their given names, and that seems particularly uncommon for an Eleanor. And don’t eve think about calling me something other than Olivia. I hate liv and livvy. They are absolutely awful. However, I actually like some dimunitives or nicknames for Eleanor like leonor and Nora.
I think it is combination of personal preference and experience. Even though most of my family has long since abandoned the Italian naming convention – firstborn son is named after the paternal grandfather, second after the maternal grandfather, and so on and so on until all the cousins are called Anthony – the tradition left its mark. Almost no one in my mother’s family answers to their given name, at least not amongst family. The generation just younger than me – kids in their early 20s now – are reversing the trend, and it will be interesting to see what happens as they become parents.
My dad’s family isn’t necessarily heavily into nicknames, but my dad was a habitual nicknamer.
The result? Even though my siblings and I all have given names that appear to be nickname-proof, you would never figure out our actual given names by listening to a conversation around the dinner table.
Good points, all. However, as someone deliberately given a rock-solid, nickname-proof name, I have never had to personally deal with any of these situations. And boy, am I glad. There’s something to be said for simplicity.
Yes on #5! I’ve been explaining to my Henry that if the other Henry we’ve been spotting around town ends up in his Kindergarten class, that will make his name “Henry B.” He didn’t seem to like that idea. So I told him that the other option is that he could be Harry, Hank or Hal. He didn’t like that idea at all either. 😛 I can see that being something that a teenager might embrace more than a 5 year old.
I am a fan of the longer more formal name on the birth certificate. I’d put Frederick on there, even if I was planning to use Fred or Freddie. I guess Alfie could shorten to the more formal Alf, but with Alfred he has the option of Fred too. I guess Charlie’s ‘nickname’ might end up being Charles, if he wanted a formal option.
It’s a tricky one.
In my tiny (think 20 children in the only primary/elementary school) hippy town full of very strange names, my brother managed to be one of three J_s. There were no other children who shared a name.
It’s a short name that doesn’t have an obvious nicknames. One J_ had a different spelling (and was older – no longer in primary school), so he was often referred to as J_ +Last name if it wasn’t clear from context which J_ was meant.
The other J_ was in my brother’s year and went by J_+ initial or J_ + last name. My brother went by J_ + (first part of our hyphenated) last name or J_-J_. We’d called him J_-J_ all his life, but when he was a teenager he insisted we made it up to differentiate him from other J_s, and refused to respond to it.
He’s mostly over it now, but it’s definitely not how he’d introduce himself. His friends tend to elaborate his name – J_-boss etc.