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Name Help: We Agree on Everything … Except a Name

May 1, 2020 By appellationmountain 22 Comments

Name Help: Where to BeginName Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed.

We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight!

Kerry writes:

Here’s what my partner and I agree on for our first child, a girl, due in August.

We don’t want:

  • A religious name
  • Anything hard to spell/pronounce
  • Nicknames
  • Anything invented/modern
  • Names that are hard to live up to
  • Unisex names
  • Old-fashioned/grandma names
  • Anything too traditional/sounds like a member of a royal family
  • Cutesy names
  • Family names – this is a fresh start

We do want:

  • Easy to pronounce
  • One obvious spelling
  • Uncommon, not weird
  • Probably nothing in the Top 100, maybe not even Top 500
  • One or two-syllables (because we’re hyphenating the baby’s last name)
  • A good meaning

We’re really struggling to come up with any names that fit. Can your readers help?

Please read on for my response, and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.

Dear Kerry –

Congratulations on your baby on the way!

Here’s the thing: naming is a process of trade-offs. If you find a name you both love, it will probably check most of these boxes. But maybe not all.

I think it will be easier to find a name you love if you focus on the qualities you appreciate in potential names, rather than running it against the checklist and immediately disqualifying it from consideration.

That’s easy to suggest, but hard to do, right?

Let’s dive in and talk about some potential names.

COLETTE

Twentieth-century French author Colette makes this literary and just traditional enough. It’s appeared in the US Top 1000 many years, making it familiar. And it sits a few notches outside of the current US Top 500, so it’s far from common. I think that checks all of the boxes, except for meaning – but I have goods news there, too. Colette comes from Nicholas, via feminine form Nicolette, so it shares the meaning “victory of the people.” That feels just about perfect.

GRETA

Strictly speaking, Greta comes from Margaret. But it feels like an independent name, not a nickname. And while everyone recognizes Greta, and it’s been in the US Top 1000 more years than not, it’s far from common, currently sitting outside the Top 500. Greta shares Margaret’s meaning: pearl. It’s on the right side of feminine, and I’d call it timeless rather than vintage.

GWEN

Short and spare, Gwen feels like a modern name. But it comes with plenty of history. Just think of Gwendolen, a name belonging to figures like twentieth century poet Gwendolyn Brooks and a legendary ruler of the Britons, said to have reigned in the 11th century BC. Or, you know, Gwen Stacey from the Spider-Man universe. It has a great meaning: blessed.

MAE

Mae breaks one of your rules. It can be spelled May, like the month. But most of the time, the given name is M-a-e, as in West and Jemison, the astronaut. It’s bright and strong, a simple name that feels slightly vintage and with plenty of modern energy. In terms of meaning, it is sometimes short for Mary or Margaret. But I think the strong meaning comes from the month, which honors the Roman goddess of the spring, and all things new and growing.

MAREN

Nothing too old-fashioned and nothing too modern? That’s a puzzle that Maren solves beautifully. Style-wise, it fits with lots of twenty-first century picks – surname names like Piper, tailored inventions like Laken. But it has plenty of history as a given name, used in both Dutch and Scandinavian languages. In the later, it dates to the 1600s. As for meaning, it probably relates to Marina, from the Latin “of the sea.”

PETRA

Petra is the rarest name on this list, and arguably the most ancient. It was the name of a city in the ancient world, located in modern-day Jordan. But unlike Delphi or Pompeii, we don’t immediately equate it with the distant past. Instead, Petra sounds timeless. While multiple origins and meanings are possible, it’s often considered a feminine form of Peter, meaning rock.

SIMONE

A feminine form of Simon, Simone is the classic name that everyone knows, but no one uses. It’s nicely tailored, but undeniably feminine. And while Simon is a New Testament name of significant, French Simone seems far less connected to anything Biblical. Though the meaning – he has heard – might be too specifically religious for you to consider. There’s also, of course, the legendary Nina Simone, the inspiration behind John Legend and Chrissy Teigen’s daugther’s name: Luna Simone.

SYLVIE

Sylvie comes the Latin word for the woods – silva. It sounds like silver, too, which adds a certain sheen. Sylvie fits right in with names like Avery and Ivy, but it’s far less common – just inside the current Top 1000 in the US. It’s feminine, but spare. And while it’s unexpected, it seems like the kind of name that would fit in today.

Overall, I think my favorites are Colette and Maren, as names that straddle the uncommon/ familiar line, and feel easy to spell and pronounce.

But the important thing now, I think, is not to focus on whether the names satisfy your criteria perfectly. I think it’s time to start thinking about qualities you like in certain names, and seeing what feels more like something that’s right for your family.

Readers, over to you – what would you add to this list? Are there any techniques you’ve used for getting un-stuck when it comes to names?

Name Help: Where to Begin

More names you might like:

  • Name Help: Finding Timeless NamesName Help: Finding Timeless Names
  • The Myth of the Normal NameThe Myth of the Normal Name
  • Courageous Baby Naming: Five Rules Expectant Parents Need to KnowCourageous Baby Naming: Five Rules Expectant Parents Need to Know
  • Spelling Counts: 9 Rules for Spelling Baby NamesSpelling Counts: 9 Rules for Spelling Baby Names
  • Name Teasing: Why You Should Ignore (Most of) Your FearsName Teasing: Why You Should Ignore (Most of) Your Fears

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Comments

  1. Edie says

    May 7, 2020 at 7:06 PM

    Vita (life)
    Nella
    Fiona
    Tamsin
    April
    Margot
    Olwen

    Reply
  2. Anchors_and_Whales says

    May 6, 2020 at 9:10 AM

    Laura.

    It checks all the boxes.

    Reply
  3. LottieNames says

    May 4, 2020 at 11:29 PM

    Nina, Tess, and Lane are terrific.
    Also:
    Greer, Reece, Dylan, Brighton, Sutton, Ellis, Neve- and hear me out- Domino. Very European. Very strong independent woman. Or Dominique for a little something extra but still pretty nickname proof.

    Reply
  4. Liz says

    May 2, 2020 at 6:27 AM

    I like the suggestion of Gwen, I would be happily surprised to meet a baby girl named Gwen.
    The first name that came to mind when reading your stipulations was Rose, I think it fits all of your criteria. I also really like Ann and think it sounds fresh and underused, though I know it could also be spelled Anne, so it breaks that rule. A few others that may work:
    Vera
    Marie
    Laurel
    Julie
    Jane/June
    Tilda
    Georgia
    Sloane

    Reply
  5. renchickadee says

    May 1, 2020 at 10:11 PM

    Maren is getting a lot of love, but if you’re really set on one obvious spelling, it might not be the one. I like the underused French names — Colette, Simone, and Sylvie and will add Sabine (though it lacks an inspiring meaning) and Delphine. And there must be more in that vein.

    Reply
  6. Jaime says

    May 1, 2020 at 6:52 PM

    Great suggestions by Abby. I especially like Greta, Colette and Gwen/Gwendolyn.

    Also:
    Margot
    Daphne
    Phoebe
    Ivy
    Meredith
    Jocelyn
    Veda
    Susannah
    Arden
    Adair
    Ainsley
    Mona
    Ramona
    Nina

    Reply
  7. Veronica says

    May 1, 2020 at 4:41 PM

    Nola.

    Reply
  8. ab says

    May 1, 2020 at 4:29 PM

    Some of these are repeats. I like Abby’s suggestion of Maren and Simone.

    Celeste (441, holding steady)
    Chelsea (470, decreasing)
    Ellen (770, decreasing)
    Julia (93, decreasing)
    Laura (340, decreasing)
    Phoebe (320, holding steady)
    Robin (974, decreasing)
    Summer (199, slight increase)
    Talia (333, slight decrease)
    Tess (998, decreasing)
    Tessa (245, holding steady)
    Topaz (not in the top 1000)
    Zelda (667, holding steady)

    (2018 rank and trend)

    Reply
  9. Jennifer says

    May 1, 2020 at 4:17 PM

    Blythe seems perfect. Great meaning, one spelling, not common But not weird, not religious, no nickname!

    But I’ll also suggest

    Vera
    Willa
    Ivy
    Kit
    Zora/Zelda/Zola

    Reply
  10. Kirstin G says

    May 1, 2020 at 2:17 PM

    A few more to consider:

    Elaine, Laurel, Dana, Megan, and Lisa

    I would also second Faye and Gwen mentioned previously.

    Reply
    • Megan says

      May 1, 2020 at 4:59 PM

      Oh Willa is wonderful

      Reply
  11. C in DC says

    May 1, 2020 at 2:04 PM

    Maya, Lia, Joy, Anna, Kay, Kaya, Ina, Lena. It might help to run through this list and figure out which vowels appeal to you.
    Jan, Jane, Jen, Jean, Gin, Guy, John, Joan, Joy, Young, June

    Reply
  12. Angela says

    May 1, 2020 at 1:45 PM

    Audra
    Clover
    Daphne
    Diane
    Dove
    Ebba
    Edie
    Elise
    Hilda
    Holly
    Iris
    Jane
    Joy
    Julie
    Juno
    Lana
    Lark
    Lena
    Thora
    Tia
    Vera
    Wanda
    Wendy
    Zelda
    Zora

    Reply
  13. L.Showers says

    May 1, 2020 at 11:38 AM

    Nadia-“hope”
    Phoebe-“bright, shining”

    Reply
  14. Erin Beth says

    May 1, 2020 at 11:27 AM

    One of my favorite under-the-radar choices is Celia. A few other ideas:
    Daphne
    Liza
    Bridget
    Zara
    Sybil
    Lula
    Lola
    Carys
    Maris
    Mira
    Mavis

    Reply
    • Erin Beth says

      May 1, 2020 at 11:29 AM

      Back to add Nina and Paige!

      Reply
  15. Emma says

    May 1, 2020 at 11:27 AM

    Tess/Tessa, Maren, and Jocelyn are great options! I think those fit what you’re looking for. Laurel & Jade, too.

    + maybe these:
    Gemma
    Iris
    Arden
    Liv
    Blaire
    Lane
    Ellis
    Eden

    Reply
  16. alex b says

    May 1, 2020 at 10:10 AM

    Congrats!! I like all the suggestions. I’ll throw these in the mix; they’re all over the place stylistically, but I think they check most of the don’t want/want boxes:

    Maeve, Zora, Jill, Faye, Phoebe, Jade, Bridget, Etta, Lux, Pearl, Elaine, Kate, Louise, Laurel, Dawn, Lena, Bonnie, Tess/Tessa, Anya, Iris, Nova, Raina, Christine, Florence, Flora, Vera, Greer, June

    Reply
    • Megan says

      May 1, 2020 at 10:17 AM

      Phoebe, Laurel and Vera are fabulous.

      Reply
  17. CeeDee says

    May 1, 2020 at 9:39 AM

    This is a tough one!

    I’d say, along with your suggestions:

    Tess/Tessa

    Jocelyn

    Lydia

    Reply
  18. Megan says

    May 1, 2020 at 8:49 AM

    Colette, Maren, and Petra are my favorites from Abby’s list. I would also add Corinne, Lyra, Esme, Wendy, and Arden.

    Reply
    • Liz says

      May 2, 2020 at 6:30 AM

      love the suggestion of Wendy!

      Reply

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