Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.
IS EVER THE RIGHT NAME?
D writes:
We named our new baby Ever.
I am exploring the option of legally changing his first name. I want to ensure that he is not subjected to teasing or bullying due to his name. Do you believe that word names hold significance?
Would it be better to choose a name similar to Ever, given that he already responds to his current name? I would appreciate any suggestions or advice you may have, such as Everett.
Alternatively, do you believe that Ever is sufficient?
NOTE from Abby: Ever doesn’t currently have a middle name.
Please read on for my response and leave your help suggestions in the comments.
EVER IS AN UNUSUAL NAME … BUT ALSO A COMPLETELY NORMAL ONE
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your son!
Choosing the right name can be a struggle, especially when you’re trying to find something that’s not too popular, but also not too different.
A few things leap out at me:
We are living in the Golden Age of Word Names.
Check out the current US Top 250. Names like River and Maverick are popular. So are more traditional word names, like Lily and Rose. That means that a name like Ever isn’t nearly as unusual as it might’ve been in, say, 1995. Back then, names like Chase, Grace, and Amber were popular – but it was very much early days for word names. Look back into the mid-1960s, and they’re even rarer – especially for boys.
So while Ever is relatively rare – it was given to 126 girls and 205 boys in 2023 – it fits with current trends. That changes how we see a name.
The problem isn’t the name. It’s the bullying!
But let’s imagine that you did choose an extremely different name for your son. Trustin or Fielder, maybe. Helix or Esben.
Would it actually be okay to tease a child about their one-of-one name?
Just like it’s not okay to tease a child about a speech impediment. The color of their skin. Their parents’ backgrounds.
I mean … it’s not the name. It’s the bullying.
And while people can be cruel, that’s (sadly) true no matter what we name our children. The solution isn’t to force ourselves to conform to every unvoiced expectation so we go unnoticed.
That’s part of why every kid was named John or Mary back in the day.
Children experience their names as relatively unique … even when they’re actually very common.
Here’s the fascinating thing:
Statistically speaking, Gen Z and Gen Alpha – people born from the late 1990s through today – have tended to experience their given names as one-of-one. Even the most common names repeat less, if at all.
The percentage of children receiving a #1, Top Ten, or even Top 100 name, continues to drop. That means kids can easily make it into middle school before they realize their name is especially popular or very uncommon.
A real-life example: my son’s Top 20 name didn’t repeat in his class right through middle school. There were older and younger kids with the same name in his school. For one season, he played on the same sports team as another kid with the same name. But mostly? He was Alex. The only Alex.
Which is all a long way of saying, I don’t think I would change your son’s first name.
But since you asked, here are the Ev- options I could think of:
EVERETT (ranked #88 as of 2023; 3808 births)
A Top 100 pick, and a handsome name. The obvious safe version of Ever if you decide to adopt a longer name.
EVEREST (ranked #837 as of 2023; 290 births)
Maybe a little grander than Ever or Everett, since it refers to the mountain.
NOTE: As a reminder, 205 boys were named Ever in 2023, so Everest is comparable in terms of popularity.
EVERSON (unranked as of 2023; 56 births)
Rarer than just Ever, but familiar thanks to name like Jackson and Harrison.
EVEREN (unranked as of 2023; 7 births)
It looks like it could be a name, though it’s pretty much invented. I do think this name would be more confusing than Ever, if only because it could easily be spelling Everin or Everren. (And so on!)
EVERTON (unranked as of 2023; 7 births)
A logical possibility, the kind of name you’d expect to see on a map and wouldn’t be surprising to hear on a child. I think it’s easier to spell than Everen, but doesn’t really meet your goal of giving your son a more mainstream first name.
Another option is to make sure Ever has a rock solid middle name. A traditional choice that he can use in combination with Ever on his resume or LinkedIn profile. Something he can use instead of Ever if he chooses to at some future point.
The most classic and traditional choices for boys are a pretty short list, but I’ll make a few suggestions.
EVER JAMES
I suggest this because I think E.J. could be a great nickname, should Ever prefer it. Of course, there’s also Ever Joseph, Ever Jonathan, Ever Jacob, Ever Julian … and lots more traditional J names for boys.
EVER MATTHEW, EVER MATEO, EVER MATIAS
Any form of Matthew feels like a good option with Ever.
EVER ALEXANDER
Maybe the two R-endings are a little repetitive, but I kind of like it.
ANOTHER MIDDLE NAME
Of course, this list is really limitless. Something with personal significance, like a family name or surname, might be perfect. Or just another name you love that you didn’t get to use as a first.
My favorite option is probably Ever James or Ever Julian. You’re adding a middle name, so you’re building in some balance and giving your son options for his future. But you’re also sticking with the distinctive first name you chose for him – I feel like that’s the best of both worlds.
But if you’re feeling strongly that Ever is a mistake? Legally changing his name to Everett feels like the obvious choice. It gives your son a very mainstream first name, without erasing the name he knows and answers to in any way.
I think Abby is right-on with this one. Ever is a stylish and meaningful name. I see no reason to change it based on your letter.
Even if the name itself is less common, it’s completely aligned with current naming trends. Consider the Top 100 status of not just Everett but also Evelyn, Oliver, Ezra, Everly, *and* Everleigh.
As a teacher, I wouldn’t bat an eyelash if I met a young Ever. It feels very normal alongside the names I encounter on my class lists.
If you left some important information out (such as feeling “off” when you say his name), that may change things. In addition to the suggestions already offered, here are a few familiar options:
Avery
Emery
There are also some older variations on Everett. They’re rarer than Ever, but a longer name might feel more “substantial”:
Everard
Everhart
Eberhard
From my perspective, though, none of these options beats your original choice.
I *do* think adding a middle name would give your son more flexibility as he grows older. Lots of great suggestions in Abby’s list and the comments.
I especially like middle initials with nickname potential, like E.J. It worked for E.B. White, E.L. James, E.M. Forster, E.O. Wilson, and more!
Thereโs no reason to change his name unless you really want to for some reason. Ever is a pretty mainstream name at this point. You might find some people ask if heโs a boy or girl, but I doubt that would be a major issue.
One thing to consider if you changed the name to something more traditional and/or something that can be shortened to Ever, is if you actually want a name that is more gendered or not. A lot of the names that you might change it to seem more like a “boy name,” and if part of the appeal of Ever is that it is gender neutral, then I wouldn’t change it.
I also don’t think you need to worry about this name being a problem for your child, so the only reason to change it would be if it makes you too uncomfortable, for example, if you are cringing every time you share your son’s name with others in anticipation of their judgment or if it bothers you that the name is a word frequently used in everyday speech.
I gave my own son a name that I was about to remove from my list as being too bold for me, thinking that my child would never be the type of kid to be able to pull off that name. Then, I had an ultrasound and looking at the picture, it suddenly hit me that my son was going to be exactly that type of kid and that it was the only name from my list that was going to suit him. So I used it in spite of some discomfort, and now that I know him, I was right — he is that kid! If your son is Ever and you feel comfortable with that, don’t change it!
Maybe before you make a change, see if you can get a peek into class lists through friends with older kids? Because I do agree, Ever really isn’t that different. I do see how teasing is probably easier with that name, but when kids want to be mean, they’ll find a way to tease beyond a name. I agree putting a ‘traditional’ name in the middle is a back-up plan, or put Ever in the middle with a ‘traditional’ name up front and let him decide what he wants on his class list for kindy.
I knew a teenage girl named Ever. It fit her perfectly, and I think with the popularity of Evelyn/Eve/Evie/Everly/etc for girls and Everett/Everest/Evan/etc for boys, it really is a fits-in/stands-out kind of name.
Personally, I love Ever. I think it’s a great name. From my experience with my own child, I’ve found that kids today aren’t nearly as judgmental about names as they were when I was growing up. That may be a regional thing, but if you live in a more diverse area, Ever likely won’t sound all that different to other names.
But I do like the idea of adding a more traditional middle name to balance it out. You should choose something meaningful to you, or just something you really like. As I like the nickname E.J., I’ll continue Abby’s suggestions for J middle names…
Ever Jackson (or Jaxson)
Ever Jasper
Ever Jordan
Ever Jameson
Ever Josiah
If you love the name Ever but feel that maybe it’s a bit too bold as a first name then perhaps you can move Ever to the middle spot and pair it with a more expected first name to balance it out. I think that the middle spot is the perfect place to use a more daring name.
I am not sure what names you would like as a first name but here are some general ideas that sound nice. I tried to use first names with nice meanings since maybe that would appeal to you.
Nolan Ever (Nolan means champion)
Isaac Ever (laughter)
Caius Ever (rejoice)
Nathaniel Ever (gift of God)
Theodore Ever (gift of God)
Ethan Ever (strong)
Jonah Ever (dove/peace)
Stellan Ever (calm)
Tyson Ever (firebrand)
Lucas Ever (bringer of light)
Davis Ever (beloved)
Eamon Ever (wealthy protector)
Auden Ever (old friend)
Bennett Ever (blessed)
Evren may appeal to you as well; it’s similar to Ever and means “universe”
I agree adding a middle name would be the best option. I personally love the sound of Ever Lachlan.
I feel like there was a reason you named him Ever. It may become more popular and then you will just have named him it before others realize what a cool name it is. That being said, I might add a middle name. Then, like Abby mentioned, he could go by his initials or even his middle name. I also should mention a similar name you might want to consider: Evert. Evert Jan is the name of my sisterโs father-in-law. He is Dutch. I think it could work well here too and you would just be adding a โtโ and your original name, Ever, would be inside it. What do you think??
Loving the funky Ever but kind of understanding where you are coming from.
I’m suggesting Evander as it starts with Ev and ends with the er.
It still has that edgy feel and perfect Ever nickname option but also has a slightly more known name with a cool history to it.
Abby has me loving James with it…
Evander James “Ever”.