Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.
IS EVER THE RIGHT NAME?
D writes:
We named our new baby Ever.
I am exploring the option of legally changing his first name. I want to ensure that he is not subjected to teasing or bullying due to his name. Do you believe that word names hold significance?
Would it be better to choose a name similar to Ever, given that he already responds to his current name? I would appreciate any suggestions or advice you may have, such as Everett.
Alternatively, do you believe that Ever is sufficient?
NOTE from Abby: Ever doesn’t currently have a middle name.
Please read on for my response and leave your help suggestions in the comments.
EVER IS AN UNUSUAL NAME … BUT ALSO A COMPLETELY NORMAL ONE
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your son!
Choosing the right name can be a struggle, especially when you’re trying to find something that’s not too popular, but also not too different.
A few things leap out at me:
We are living in the Golden Age of Word Names.
Check out the current US Top 250. Names like River and Maverick are popular. So are more traditional word names, like Lily and Rose. That means that a name like Ever isn’t nearly as unusual as it might’ve been in, say, 1995. Back then, names like Chase, Grace, and Amber were popular – but it was very much early days for word names. Look back into the mid-1960s, and they’re even rarer – especially for boys.
So while Ever is relatively rare – it was given to 126 girls and 205 boys in 2023 – it fits with current trends. That changes how we see a name.
The problem isn’t the name. It’s the bullying!
But let’s imagine that you did choose an extremely different name for your son. Trustin or Fielder, maybe. Helix or Esben.
Would it actually be okay to tease a child about their one-of-one name?
Just like it’s not okay to tease a child about a speech impediment. The color of their skin. Their parents’ backgrounds.
I mean … it’s not the name. It’s the bullying.
And while people can be cruel, that’s (sadly) true no matter what we name our children. The solution isn’t to force ourselves to conform to every unvoiced expectation so we go unnoticed.
That’s part of why every kid was named John or Mary back in the day.
Children experience their names as relatively unique … even when they’re actually very common.
Here’s the fascinating thing:
Statistically speaking, Gen Z and Gen Alpha – people born from the late 1990s through today – have tended to experience their given names as one-of-one. Even the most common names repeat less, if at all.
The percentage of children receiving a #1, Top Ten, or even Top 100 name, continues to drop. That means kids can easily make it into middle school before they realize their name is especially popular or very uncommon.
A real-life example: my son’s Top 20 name didn’t repeat in his class right through middle school. There were older and younger kids with the same name in his school. For one season, he played on the same sports team as another kid with the same name. But mostly? He was Alex. The only Alex.
Which is all a long way of saying, I don’t think I would change your son’s first name.
But since you asked, here are the Ev- options I could think of:
EVERETT (ranked #88 as of 2023; 3808 births)
A Top 100 pick, and a handsome name. The obvious safe version of Ever if you decide to adopt a longer name.
EVEREST (ranked #837 as of 2023; 290 births)
Maybe a little grander than Ever or Everett, since it refers to the mountain.
NOTE: As a reminder, 205 boys were named Ever in 2023, so Everest is comparable in terms of popularity.
EVERSON (unranked as of 2023; 56 births)
Rarer than just Ever, but familiar thanks to name like Jackson and Harrison.
EVEREN (unranked as of 2023; 7 births)
It looks like it could be a name, though it’s pretty much invented. I do think this name would be more confusing than Ever, if only because it could easily be spelling Everin or Everren. (And so on!)
EVERTON (unranked as of 2023; 7 births)
A logical possibility, the kind of name you’d expect to see on a map and wouldn’t be surprising to hear on a child. I think it’s easier to spell than Everen, but doesn’t really meet your goal of giving your son a more mainstream first name.
Another option is to make sure Ever has a rock solid middle name. A traditional choice that he can use in combination with Ever on his resume or LinkedIn profile. Something he can use instead of Ever if he chooses to at some future point.
The most classic and traditional choices for boys are a pretty short list, but I’ll make a few suggestions.
EVER JAMES
I suggest this because I think E.J. could be a great nickname, should Ever prefer it. Of course, there’s also Ever Joseph, Ever Jonathan, Ever Jacob, Ever Julian … and lots more traditional J names for boys.
EVER MATTHEW, EVER MATEO, EVER MATIAS
Any form of Matthew feels like a good option with Ever.
EVER ALEXANDER
Maybe the two R-endings are a little repetitive, but I kind of like it.
ANOTHER MIDDLE NAME
Of course, this list is really limitless. Something with personal significance, like a family name or surname, might be perfect. Or just another name you love that you didn’t get to use as a first.
My favorite option is probably Ever James or Ever Julian. You’re adding a middle name, so you’re building in some balance and giving your son options for his future. But you’re also sticking with the distinctive first name you chose for him – I feel like that’s the best of both worlds.
But if you’re feeling strongly that Ever is a mistake? Legally changing his name to Everett feels like the obvious choice. It gives your son a very mainstream first name, without erasing the name he knows and answers to in any way.
Completely agree with Abby. I think Ever is great on its own, and even better with a middle name such as Ever James or Ever Alexander. Everett is also beautiful. Just as a side note, Everton is a premiership soccer team in the UK, so I’d maybe steer away from that one personally.
Abbyโs right when she says Ever, as a name, will fit into the classroom along with the other interesting variations of names out there. What would give me pause is that it is also a commonly used word. He will hear his name everywhere, all the time when people arenโt talking about him at all. I would want my son to have a longer version or a nickname to go by so that he is certain that people are talking to him.