Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed.
We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight!
Zoe writes:
Is Vexahlia an acceptable name for a girl?
I’ve been through most girl names and none of them have struck us like this one. It comes from a character in Dungeons & Dragons. Is the first bit – Vex – too negative? It’s not much different from Noah starting with no, which is a negative term.
Our other daughter is Winry. We shorten it to Win, which is easier for people.
I’d love to hear opinions on Vexahlia, and any name suggestions with a similar sound or feel. I’m a huge fan of unusual, out-there names with a classic nickname.
Please read on for my response, and share your helpful suggestions in the comments.
Dear Zoe –
Congratulations on your second daughter!
I’m torn on this one.
Vexahlia: Why It Works
Vexahlia sounds like a name. Plenty of girls’ names end with -lia, including popular picks like Amelia and Natalia. And with Harry Potter, Star Wars, Game of Thrones, and Lord of the Rings influencing baby name trends, why not Dungeons & Dragons?
Still, this marks the first time a D&D name has come up here, so I went searching for information on the character.
According to the vast and informative interwebs, Vex’ahlia and her twin brother Vax’ildan were born to a human mother and an elven father. It made for a rough childhood. She’s skilled with a longbow, speaks several languages, and excels as a tracker. Both she and Vax belong to Vox Machina, a group of adventurers.
Given the extensive mythology of D&D, some of this might be wrong – or just plain pointless – but it seems like Vex’ahlia could easily inspire a child’s name, at least in an age that sees Khaleesi rank in the US Top 1000.
To sum up the positives so far: it sounds like a name, the character seems admirable, and sci-fi and fantasy characters have become a rich source of mainstream baby names.
Vexahlia: Why It Might Not …
Let’s move on to the negatives, because I’m still struggling to give this one an enthusiastic yes.
First, there’s the problem with meaning. To vex is to worry or to annoy. It reminds me of Bane – great, on-trend sound, but strongly negative meaning. And yet, few of us use vex in everyday speech. And it’s not the name – just a possible short form that might never stick. So it’s less than ideal, but probably not a deal-breaker.
Next, let’s talk about the challenges of a (very) unusual name. When I say challenges, I mean exactly that. They’re not reasons to avoid a name; instead, they’re things to consider.
- You’ll have to spell and repeat her name fairly often; eventually, she’ll be the one to introduce herself as “Vexahlia, let-me-spell-it-for-you.”
- Likewise, people will inevitably comment on her name. Much of it will be friendly curiosity. Some of it may be judgemental, or even downright rude. The catch here? You might be perfectly comfortable with this, but there’s no way to guess if your child will feel the same.
- You’ll find yourself telling the story of her name again and again – once again, an experience that your child will inherit.
Here’s the part that gives me pause. I’m imagining what it would be like to tell the story of this specific name in different settings. A rare family name is explained easily. But when it comes to cultural references, things get dicey.
Telling a prospective employer or new romantic partner’s parents that you were named for, say, a literary figure or another borrowing from the arts feels one way. I suspect revealing a pop culture reference might be more awkward. I imagine that Khaleesi could be a successful heart surgeon and still have patients asking her about dragons.
Vexahlia: The Problem of Pop Culture Baby Names
A name drawn from, say, opera or ballet or The Faerie Queen, conveys one message. It implies the parents were educated, sophisticated, successful.
Names taken from pop culture can read the other way.
Except that this isn’t necessarily accurate, and it certainly doesn’t feel fair.
I also suspect it’s changing.
We’ve drawn names from popular culture for ages. It’s just been a little tougher to connect the dots. Nancy does a brilliant job of surfacing these stories. Today, at least some parents seem to shrug off the idea that names like Anakin or Kylo will be problematic. And when enough parents operate on that premise, it becomes true.
Vexahlia: My Two Cents
This name surpasses rare; it verges on unique. The name has never been given to even five children in a single year. The US Census records list no Vexahlias, either. (Though I did find Vexella, Vicola, and Vicalee.)
Maybe my biggest hesitation is that Vexahlia offers little in the way of easy nicknames, though I suspect that others might get used to Vex pretty quickly.
And yet, when I run this past my list of 12 Warning Signs, Vexahlia passes.
In terms of alternatives, other V names that come to mind are Valencia, Vivica, Evolet, Reverie, Valletta, Vesta, and Varvara. And yet I’m not sure any of those quite hit the right note.
I recommend that if you do choose Vexahlia, you pair it with a more traditional middle name.
Let’s have a poll, and don’t forget to add your suggestions in the comments. If there are any D&D fans out there, I’d love to hear other names from the universe, too.
What do you think of Vexahlia? Do you think the general perception of pop culture baby names is changing? Or was it never really that big a deal?
Couldn’t you just spell it differently to clear up a few problems?
Veksarlia, Vehsalia or something…
Maybe Valencia has enough of a similar sound to appeal?
Or Alexia
Valentina
Vixen (although, connotations…. :/ )
Velvet
Venetia
Victoria
Vesper / Vespyr
Zephyr
Azure
Zenobia
Xanthe
Ixora
Zora / Zara / Sahara
Vivica is an excellent suggestion. I just wanted to drop an anecdote, since my option is kind of neutral – I had a childhood friend named Metaxia, which immediately came to mind when I read Vexhalia. It’s Greek, and she was from a Greek family with a long and difficult last name, so she was going to do the “let-me-spell-it-for-you” routine regardless. She seemed just fine, wasn’t picked on for it any more than the rest of us, and frankly it was a beautiful name that fit her. She did have the heritage thing going over pop culture, but I’d say don’t be too scared about Vexhalia being inaccessible.
Whoops *Vexahlia
Go for Vivica! Unusual, but light and airy- with the sweet nickname Viv.
Honestly, for some reason, I think this name sounds like a country not a person. Some sound resemblance to Westphalia? Or to Hetalia Axis Powers (even though Hetalia isn’t the name of a country)? — I’m not sure. That said, I don’t get a hugely negative vibe, just doesn’t quite hit the “name” note for me.
I have trouble with it. I hear it with a Southern accent
Vex-all-yuh. (with the all drawn out– sounding like Vex all of you).
I couldn’t do it, and we play D&D.
It also bothers me that her sister would have such a light and positive name in contrast.
I have no suggestions unfortunately, but I would continue looking. The uniqueness doesn’t phase me; it is the name itself that gives me pause.
That’s an interesting point about accents. It *does* sound different when I imagine it with a Southern accent.
Love, love, love this part of your comment: “The uniqueness doesn’t phase me; it is the name itself that gives me pause.” It’s so easy to react negatively to any new name, but it’s important to pause and consider if it works, regardless of whether we’re familiar with it or not. Thank you!
I already posted on your nameberry thread, so I won’t repeat my suggestions, but I wanted to mention that I like your idea (in the NB thread) of using Vexahlia as a middle for Tova, and I think Tova Faye Vexahlia works well with a one-syllable last name.
And I agree with other posters here – I’d love to hear an update when she’s named!
Yes I’m loving Tova iv never heard it before….i also heard that on a dungeons and dragons stream and just think it’s a beautiful name. I’m hoping hubby will be ok maybe pushing Vexahlia to a middle name but the more I read comments negative or not I’m getting so used to talking about it , it just seems normal to my ears now lol x
And that is exactly what will happen to everyone in your daughter’s life – even really unusual names eventually feel familiar.
I love unusual names too, and even though they can be tough upon introduction, they are easier to remember.
If you’re still on the fence about this one, my daughter’s name has a similar sound!
Xylia
It rhymes with Julia, and means “wood dweller” (same root as Sylvia and Silas). Our daughter is 4, she loves her name, we love her name. We have only ever received positive responses. I do think that a shorter spelling makes unusual names easier. When it’s mistaken for other things it’s Azalea (we’re in the South) or Xyla/Zyla. Toddlers always call her “ya ya”, which is how she first pronounced it too. Plus X is an awesome initial 😉
I look forward to hearing what you’ll choose!
Love Xylia and Zyla as it’s very similar to our other favourite name Xia but pronounced Zyah not the traditional Chinese way that sounds more like shire. I also love Azalea lol I think I just love names ending in ia sounds and also being quirky helps 🙂
I’m not sure how attached you are to the source or if you just like the sound. On sound, I find flipping the order around a little bit to get Valexia less challenging, and it avoids the possible Vex nickname. Vale or Lex or Xia all seem to fit with Win, (if she were my child, she would also probably get “Lexicon” occasionally, at least until she got old enough to object). Google tells me it belongs to a World of Warcraft character, but that’s too far from my geekery for me to assess any meaning it takes from there.
But if Vexahlia is what you love, it might fit well with how she wants to interact with the world and be perfect. It also might not, so I definitely agree she should have a less challenging nickname or middle to fall back on.
The reason we like the name is purely based or that we love the sound and flow or it and it’s the only name we’ve heard that’s really kinda struck a chord and stayed with us. I do like your suggestion of Valexia thats pretty i did mention the possibility of Vaxahlia to hubby just to soften that Vex bit but he didn’t like it as much.
It’s hard to hit the same kind of notes as Winry-which as others have commented reads both as a sweet nickname of a classic Winifred but also has the caché of the Fullmetal Alchemist character. I think that’s why Vexhalia doesn’t totally work because it’s missing the first element. I would brainstorm more classic names with edgy nicknames (like Beatrix nn Bex for example or the examples from The Mrs) or go with a favorite gaming/manga character with more broad appeal-maybe something from Battle Royale or Neil Gaiman or other genres that also have some wide literary base. I love Evaine for you, from Stardust!
Oops that’s spelled Yvaine (even better!) and I transposed the letters in Vexahlia