Check out Babble’s article on the 33 Worst Baby Names. We won’t argue with Tu Morrow or Rebel, Racer and Rogue. In fact, it reminded us that choices like Sunday and Suri are comparatively safe choices, at least in Hollywood.

Still, a few doozies are missing. How about Peanut Kai, son of General Hospital actor Ingo Rademacher? Or Brooke Burke’s Shaya Braven – to say nothing of his big sis Heaven Rain.

Any other omissions?

About Abby Sandel

Whether you're naming a baby, or just all about names, you've come to the right place! Appellation Mountain is a haven for lovers of obscure gems and enduring classics alike.

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What do you think?


  1. Kim, I think you’re right that Harley Quinn – while silly – is probably likely to go unnoticed. I know a tween-aged Harley and the name appears to wear perfectly well – at least as well as Hayley.

  2. Okay, so I kind of agree with most of those, but Harley Quinn? What’s wrong with Harley Smith? And you know, would any of us know about Harlequinn if we hadn’t been told about it? I never knew about it till a Smith/comic fan told me.

  3. And Lola, what a timely Warren Zevon reference – and one that didn’t even OCCUR to me, even though I’ve been thinking Halloween …

  4. I actually don’t hate Moxie. I think it’s on the edge, but I also acknowledge that starbabies don’t grow up in, say, small town Arkansas, but creative environments where EVERYONE has a stand out name.

    Other kids at Clio’s future childcare center include India and Iceline, plus a new student called Amonda – given her parents’ accents, I suspect it’s more than a creative twist on Amanda, but they’re too new for me to ask.

    Anyhow, live in a big enough place or a creative enough community and the rules change. On my block, Brayden and Kayla would be bizarre choices. (Though we do have the classics, like James, represented, so it’s not like it’s all free and wild.)

    Now I do think that Moxie deserved a better middle name. My personal rule of thumb is that you can go crazy with the first or the middle, but not both. There’s gotta be some fallback position in the name SOMEWHERE. I fully acknowledge that my Clio will probably grow up and want to be Emily. 🙂

  5. Ok, so I have to admit that I love Moxie Crimefighter! I always have, it even used to be my MySpace name for years. Not that I would name my child that, but I would love it if it were my name. I also love Apple, the Martini thing never occurred to me, however. I never understood why everyone thought it was so crazy when they named her that. I like fruit names, in fact, if my baby is a girl her middle name will be Peach.

  6. Actually, if it must be pronound kate-lyn, I’d rather see Katelyn before Caitlin, which is not Kate-lyn to me, it’s more like my sister’s name: Kathleen! (I’d even buy kate-leen as an American pronunciation, really). Drove me nuts last season of Heroes.. In Ireland she’s Kate-lyn spelled Caitlin? You’d think an Irish woman would say her own name the way it’s supposed to be said! How did that slip past?

    You’d also think Phuc would at least register on some Yanks as FOOK. It’s in Warren Zevon’s “Werewolved of London” “Lee Ho Phuc’s”. Well, that’s how I learned to say it anyway. 😉

  7. Well … Phuc is a beast of a name to bring to the US, but if you were born in Vietnam, I suspect it’s not any worse than being called Jayden – it’s probably more like being called John. Same goes for Shateed – while the it’s eye-popping in English, somewhere on Earth it’s just plain old ordinary. It would be cruel to choose those names for a child born here, of course, but I’ve heard my own in-laws translate my ideas about our kids’ names into completely unrecognizable messes – that sound just right in Polish, their native tongue.

    I’m still on record as rather liking Apple. There is the Apple Martin(i) problem – you’re dead on about that, Lola. But Apple Smith would probably be charming. At least from where I sit, with my affection for noun names. Hey, if Destiny can be a Top 100 choice, why not Sailor?

    It is really is those creative spellings that tax my patience. Vynsynt? I don’t get it. I do understand variants – Katherine, Katharine, Catherine, Cathryn – and can see why parents opt for Katelyn over Caitlin. But when the spelling is changed “just to be different,” I’ll admit it makes my eyes cross. And so it is with Seargeoh – did I mangle that as intended? Even Rainbow would slip past, but Reignbeau? Ving, what were you thinking?

  8. I feel so bad for these kids who have to grow up with those horrible names. Seriously! If my mom had named me any of those, I probably would be 6 feet under. I can understand a parent wanting their children to have unique names, but Moxie CrimeFighter, Audio Science and Jermajesty are just cruel! It should be child abuse to name your kid those things. I saw Tu Morrow on that list and I almost died laughing. I couldn’t help it. Poor kid! Another one I can’t stand is Harlow Winter Kate Madden. Harlow and Winter are ugly in my opinion, particularly Harlow since it reminds me of ‘harlot’. It doesn’t flow very well either because the W’s run into each other. Even worse, Seven Sirius.

    Lola, I agree with you on Camera, Kal-el and Apple. Naming your kids after inanimate objects, TV/Comic book characters or food is tacky and evil! Your names are much better, but Richard, while a classic name, is probably gonna be nicknamed Dick at some point in his life and that’s a huge drawback for me.

    I just found out last week from my friend that she’s having a 2nd baby. Her first kid is Vynsynt Xavier, cute name if spelled correctly but this spelling makes me want to hurl. I hope she does a favor for the new baby and stays away from those hideous names she’s got on her list and uses traditional spellings.

    OMFG! The worst I’ve heard of lately is Phuc, which is pronounced almost like f—. That is a real name in Vietnam. I am not kidding, and it is a very common name there. Shithead (sha-teed) comes pretty close. Those are just asking for trouble, as if Alize wasn’t bad enough. I used to work with a little girl named Alize when I was still at that daycare center. She pronounces it just like the drink. Sometimes I wonder “What the heck are these people on?”

  9. Hey, they forgot Rodriguez’s (how DO you show possesion with that surname?) others: Rocket & girl, Rhiannon. Rhiannon’s better but a teensy bit cheesy. Rocket stinks as badly as his brothers. I’ve always said Richard, Raphael, Roman, Roland, Raymonds & Rose would have been my R’s had they been MY kids. Apple still bothers me but not because it’s Apple. Had her last name been anything but Martin, I’d like it better. As is, she’s one letter off Apple Martini and that’s really sad. If I’d been Gwyneth, I’d’ve countered with: Clementine or Tangerine. Anything but a drink! (Actually Clementine Martin would have been darling and Tangerine would have been as out there but less jokey).

    Sly Stallone makes me wonder if he really knows how to spell, Sergio would have been beautiful on a boy. 🙁 *huge sigh*

    The only one on that list that doesn’t particularly make me cry is Camera, She’s 21 now. and can at least fall back on Cam/Cammie. I have seen far worse than Camera.

    At the moment I can’t think of anything worse but I have to say, Nicolas Cage has another badly named boy: Weston. Which is still miles better than Kal-El. I want to smack him “Why not Clark!?”

    Off for dinner now but I’ll be back and if I think of any others (I really do try to blot them from memory though), I’ll post again!