Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.
A FAMILY NAME FOR THEIR THIRD CHILD
Meg writes:
I’m named after my mom, Margaret, who went by Maggie. She’s named after her aunt, Margaret, who was called Margie or Marge. When I was younger, I went by Megan, but I’ve been Meg since college.
When our first daughter was born, my husband really didn’t like the idea of family names and we agreed on Stella Katherine because we both loved it.
Then we had our son. His name is Nolan Thomas. Again, Nolan we both agreed on. Thomas is for his dad. When he asked to use his dad’s name for Nolan’s middle, I was uncertain. But it felt like the right decision.
We’ve just found out our third child is going to be a girl. This is almost certainly our last baby, and I’m surprised by how much I want to use my family name.
My husband has agreed to Daisy, since it is a nickname for Margaret, and I really love the idea of calling her Daisy. But I’d like to name her Margaret, and call her Daisy. My husband thinks that will be weird and complicated, and suggested naming her Daisy Margaret instead.
I guess I’d like some opinions:
- Would it be weird/hard to be Margaret called Daisy?
- Is Daisy Margaret like naming somebody Anna Anne?
Please read on for my response and leave your helpful suggestions in the comments.
DECIDING WHAT SATISFIES AS A FAMILY NAME
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your new daughter!
I’m so glad you’re getting a chance to use your family name.
We tend to assume that older children get the honor names – and that’s often true. But I know plenty of couples who are drawn to family names over time.
The good news: you agree! Your daughter will be called Daisy. It’s a great name, a wonderful honor name for you and all the Margarets, and a perfect sister name for Stella and Nolan.
In other words? You’re not going to make a wrong decision.
Let’s weigh your main options and answer the questions that go along with them both.
WOULD IT BE WEIRD TO BE MARGARET CALLED DAISY?
In theory, no. We all know at least a few people who answer to an unconventional nickname.
Will some people think it’s weird? Sure. But I’m guessing it will mostly be a non-issue.
And people who love names definitely know about the Daisy/Margaret connection.
OKAY, HOW ABOUT DAISY MARGARET?
Speaking of people who know names, we’re the ones who raise an eyebrow at sisters named Elizabeth and Isabelle.
There aren’t really that many of us.
And I suspect that even those of us who get the whole Daisy/Margaret connection wouldn’t find this a problematic combination.
If anything, I kind of like it because you potentially get the best of both worlds: preferred nickname and the family name used intact.
SO … MARGARET OR DAISY?
I think there are a few considerations here:
- Your daughter’s name should be compatible with siblings Stella Katherine and Nolan Thomas. I think Daisy works slightly better than Margaret-called-Daisy, but only slightly.
- Even if you name her Daisy, this is the most direct honor name you’ve used. The only other family name in the mix is Nolan’s middle.
- Because your family has intentionally picked different Margaret nicknames for each generation, I don’t feel like naming her Daisy instead of Margaret diminishes the tradition, if that makes sense.
I think I’m favoring Daisy Margaret.
But – and this is a serious caveat – how would you feel about not getting to choose another middle name?
This is likely to be your last child. If there are other names you’ve always considered and longed to use, I wonder if having both your daughter’s first and middle names pre-chosen like this might feel like a letdown.
Also, I’m interpreting your family tradition as “a name derived from Margaret.” I might also read it as “handing down the name Margaret and then giving each generation a distinctive nickname.”
If it’s the name Margaret that’s most meaningful? (And based on your letter, maybe it is.) I think that puts a little more weight on the Margaret-called-Daisy scale.
From what I know now, I’d rank your choices in this order:
3. Daisy MiddleName
There’s not enough Margaret in this version.
2. Margaret “Daisy” MiddleName
I like this a lot, but it’s only a better choice if Margaret is the specific name you want to hand down.
1. Daisy Margaret
Is there a little repetition here? Maybe. But I love the way you get the best of both worlds, and I appreciate that it seldom happens. (We would never suggest someone name a child Josie Josephine or Lily Lillian, right?)
But let’s open this up to the readers, because I feel like it would benefit from more perspectives.
Use Daisy Margaret if that’s what is pulling you.
BUT!
If Daisy’s daughter was named Pearl or Maisie or Greta, would you feel like she kept the naming chain going? My guess is yes. If that’s true, just use Daisy and pick another lovely middle name!
And congratulations on your sweet girl! She will feel so loved as she grows.
I think that you need to consider that it sounds like your husband isn’t on board *at all* with naming her Margaret. Will you regret not naming her Margaret? If so, then you need to talk with DH again. If not, then go with Daisy Margaret or Daisy Susannah, or whatever middle name works for you.
My choice with siblings Stella Katherine and Nolan Thomas would be ….
Margaret Claire, nicknamed Daisy.
Daisy is lovely and you couldn’t go wrong.
My 2 cents worth…consideration….Margaret nn Daisy. My ‘go with Margaret’ reasoning… You were Megan now Meg.
By giving her the full name Margaret she has the option to choose her own variation of a nickname should she wish to in life.
Daisy Margaret…. Hmmm not bad but it’s a lot of Margaret.
Pick a vibrant middle name that complements Stella and Nolan with that vintage yet spunky sweet spot vibe.
My suggestion Margaret “Daisy” Lula
Or just skip the long version?…. Go short and sweet Daisy Lula!
See I’m as unsure as you. I am actually kind of liking Daisy more than Margaret.
I grew up with a long name not used much and a nickname even now used most often … it was/is a pain as people say my long name and everyone looks confused when they realise it’s me.
Daisy Margaret is my favorite!
She gets called Daisy, no explanation needed. And Daisy and Margaret are different enough to not sound repetitive together.
She gets both the family name and her own version.
And I like that all 3 kids get short and sweet first names (Stella, Nolan, Daisy) and super tradicional middle names (Katherine, Thomas, Margaret). That’s a cohesive sibset.
So, unless you have another middle name you really want to use, Daisy Margaret is the best option, in my opinion.
I think any of your options would work nicely!
“Daisy” as a nickname for Margaret has a long tradition, and it wouldn’t require any further explanation than, “My legal name is Margaret, but my family calls me Daisy.”
And on the other hand, Daisy Margaret isn’t too repetitive. It’s less like Anna Anne and more like Ellen Claire or Felicity Blythe: the names have the same meaning, but the sounds and etymologies are completely different.
My personal preference would be Margaret as the first name, but I really feel you should go with whatever choice would feel like a continuation of your family tradition.