Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.
WHEN YOUR LIST IS DOWN TO THREE GREAT NAMES
Mia writes:
Our daughter will be here in a few weeks and after lots of discussion, I think we have narrowed down her name to one of three choices:
- Eloise, my favorite. It’s been my favorite since we found out we were having a girl. My husband doesn’t like the “wheeze” of it and worries people will call her Weezy. (Like the penguin in Toy Story.)
- Lyla, his favorite. I want to like this name, but good friends have a daughter named Lily and I worry they’re too close. I also disagree about spelling. To me, it should be Lilah, like Delilah. But it seems like most people spell it this way, with the Y.
- Eliza, which my sister suggested as between Eloise and Lyla. I agree, it’s perfect! Except neither of us likes it as much as we like Eloise/Lyla.
Can you help us make a decision?
Our last name sounds like Stuart. (But spelled differently.)
Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
CHOOSING WHEN THERE’S NO OBVIOUS WAY TO DECIDE
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your new daughter!
Here’s what leaps out at me. Eloise plus Lyla pretty much equals Eliza. It’s like a mathematical equation.
Except when we compromise on names? Instead of a net increase, we often feel like it’s subtraction.
We’ve given up something we valued, and what we gained feels like less.
Let me try to make the case for why Eliza is a great compromise choice.
NICKNAME CONCERNS
Your husband isn’t wild about the possibility of Eloise being called Weezy. Would it happen? I don’t think it’s likely. But it’s possible. And mostly, I hear your husband saying that he doesn’t love part of Eloise’s sound. Which is too bad, because it’s a great name! But I think once you hear the wheeze part, it’s hard to un-hear.
SPELLING CONCERNS
At the same time, I share your how-do-you-spell-Lyla question. As it happens, Lyla is the dominant spelling – more popular than Lilah or Lila, though all are popular. That is a set-up for a lifetime of “My name is Lyla, let me spell it for you” no matter what choice you make.
Another point you’ve already considered: the popularity of names like Lily, as well as Layla, Luna, Delilah, Leilani, and so on means that any name with those strong L sounds is easy to mishear.
Still, Lyla is brief, complete, and nickname-proof, so I absolutely see the appeal.
ELIZA SOLVES BOTH and COMBINES THE SOUNDS YOU BOTH LIKE
There’s really only one spelling for Eliza. It’s less common than Eloise or Lyla, but still very familiar. It sounds like that’s a strong positive for you, and I agree. A name with a single, unambiguous spelling has some very real advantages.
I wouldn’t call Eliza nickname-proof exactly. It could easily share lots of the Elizabeth nicknames. (And they are legion.) But unless your daughter prefers Ellie or Lizzie or Elle, chances are that Eliza won’t be shortened. It sounds like that’s a bonus for your husband. At any rate, Eliza will never be Weezy.
It’s easy to suggest more names that are like Eliza, but I’m not sure that’s the assignment here. (I’m assuming you’ve already considered equally appealing choices, like Lydia, Gemma, Julia, or Elena.)
Instead, I wonder if it’s a question of trying to warm up to Eliza? Because it sounds like you’ve done the hard work of finding a compromise name, and now the challenge is to really embrace it and feel good about having made such a significant decision together.
I think the trick to compromise is finding the best option you can both live with.
To that end, I do think you should bring more ideas back into the conversation. Get a bunch of possibilities on the table, maybe rank them all separately, and see what names you can agree on.
This exercise might lead you back to Eliza. Or it might take you in a different, unexpected direction!
Here are some names you might consider:
Adela
Adelaide
Alice
Alya
Eleanor
Elia
Elinor
Elisa
Elise
Elodie
Emilia
Esme
Hazel
Iris
Isla
Lisette
Lucia
Lyra
Rosalie
Violet
Zoe
I would do Eliza! It feels less trendy than Eloise or Lyla right now…and once you hold your baby and say this is Eliza, it will be your favorite name in the world. I guess the only reason I would pick Eloise or Lyla is if you think you would use the other if you have a second daughter someday. But honestly, my vote goes to Eliza.
I adore Eliza as a name. Best part is that it’s easy to say and easy to spell.
Eloise is also fabulous! It was top 3 for my last daughter.
Despite being a long time love of Eloise I’m sorry to say I’m not liking it as much as the others with Stuart. … I’m imagining her nicknamed… Lu Stuart or Lulu Stuart just seem rather oooo heavy. Ellie Elle or Ella Stuart sound great from Eloise or Eliza.
The more I’m saying Lyla Stuart the more I’m liking it. Easy to say but I’ll have to agree that you may get varied spelling from it. It’s not a name I’d initially typically like quite as much as the other two but it really sounds bright and bubbly against your more traditional surname whereas Eliza sounds classic. So both win in different ways.
I agree with the suggestions of bringing 2 to 3 options to the big day and your little girl will just seem better suited to one option.
I agree with the previous poster, Eloise Stuart has a slight hiccup on the double s sound. It adds a bump in pronouncing the name. Lyla and Eliza Stuart don’t have the same skip. Not sure that matters but it could be a way to choose.
Lyla Eloise Stuart is beautiful if you want to use all the favorites at once. The hiccup seems less notable in the middle and saving names for another child is frought with the possibility of never getting to use them.
If you go with Eliza you probably end up shopping for another middle since neither Eloise or Lyla really work given the name similarity.
Lastly, bring both and pick at the hospital. This strategy can work. For me, the hospital wasn’t the world’s best place for clarity and rational thought. But for some, seeing the baby can be the clencher.
What about Elise instead of Eloise? It’s a very classy name and avoids the “Wheez.”
Lilah Eloise or Eloise Delilah. If neither of you likes Eliza as well, don’t use it. Call her Ellie or Lola to get rid of the Weezie nickname.
I like Lila better with the h as well. It has a lot of different spellings. If you pick your husband’s favorite as the first name, you should get to pick the spelling. If he agrees to use your favorite as the first name, he should get to pick the nickname.