Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.
WHEN YOUR LIST IS DOWN TO THREE GREAT NAMES
Mia writes:
Our daughter will be here in a few weeks and after lots of discussion, I think we have narrowed down her name to one of three choices:
- Eloise, my favorite. It’s been my favorite since we found out we were having a girl. My husband doesn’t like the “wheeze” of it and worries people will call her Weezy. (Like the penguin in Toy Story.)
- Lyla, his favorite. I want to like this name, but good friends have a daughter named Lily and I worry they’re too close. I also disagree about spelling. To me, it should be Lilah, like Delilah. But it seems like most people spell it this way, with the Y.
- Eliza, which my sister suggested as between Eloise and Lyla. I agree, it’s perfect! Except neither of us likes it as much as we like Eloise/Lyla.
Can you help us make a decision?
Our last name sounds like Stuart. (But spelled differently.)
Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
CHOOSING WHEN THERE’S NO OBVIOUS WAY TO DECIDE
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your new daughter!
Here’s what leaps out at me. Eloise plus Lyla pretty much equals Eliza. It’s like a mathematical equation.
Except when we compromise on names? Instead of a net increase, we often feel like it’s subtraction.
We’ve given up something we valued, and what we gained feels like less.
Let me try to make the case for why Eliza is a great compromise choice.
NICKNAME CONCERNS
Your husband isn’t wild about the possibility of Eloise being called Weezy. Would it happen? I don’t think it’s likely. But it’s possible. And mostly, I hear your husband saying that he doesn’t love part of Eloise’s sound. Which is too bad, because it’s a great name! But I think once you hear the wheeze part, it’s hard to un-hear.
SPELLING CONCERNS
At the same time, I share your how-do-you-spell-Lyla question. As it happens, Lyla is the dominant spelling – more popular than Lilah or Lila, though all are popular. That is a set-up for a lifetime of “My name is Lyla, let me spell it for you” no matter what choice you make.
Another point you’ve already considered: the popularity of names like Lily, as well as Layla, Luna, Delilah, Leilani, and so on means that any name with those strong L sounds is easy to mishear.
Still, Lyla is brief, complete, and nickname-proof, so I absolutely see the appeal.
ELIZA SOLVES BOTH and COMBINES THE SOUNDS YOU BOTH LIKE
There’s really only one spelling for Eliza. It’s less common than Eloise or Lyla, but still very familiar. It sounds like that’s a strong positive for you, and I agree. A name with a single, unambiguous spelling has some very real advantages.
I wouldn’t call Eliza nickname-proof exactly. It could easily share lots of the Elizabeth nicknames. (And they are legion.) But unless your daughter prefers Ellie or Lizzie or Elle, chances are that Eliza won’t be shortened. It sounds like that’s a bonus for your husband. At any rate, Eliza will never be Weezy.
It’s easy to suggest more names that are like Eliza, but I’m not sure that’s the assignment here. (I’m assuming you’ve already considered equally appealing choices, like Lydia, Gemma, Julia, or Elena.)
Instead, I wonder if it’s a question of trying to warm up to Eliza? Because it sounds like you’ve done the hard work of finding a compromise name, and now the challenge is to really embrace it and feel good about having made such a significant decision together.
All lovely names. I am not very good at compromising (as a name nerd) BUT after successfully finding a third compromise name for all my babies, it ended up being the perfect fit, in so many ways. I love Eliza. I might also suggest Elodie or Elise. Congratulations.
I know three Eloises (one of them I helped name which is one of my proudest moments ;-)) and so far none of them have ever gotten ‘wheezy’ as a nickname (they are 13, 9, 9.) They are El, verrry occasionally Lulu, and Elo. It’s such a lovely name, fun to say.
I think Abby was spot-on when she said the perfect combo is often a subtraction. I say don’t settle. Take Eloise and Lyla to meet her and see if she tells you her name. That strategy has worked for me both times. I actually think they make an amazing sister set, so use one now and save one for later. (and I am a huge Lila fan too, I get how Lily may seem close, but only one paper – Lyla is her spunkier sister. I’ve met quite a few Islas but know very few Lila/Lylas.)
My only other suggestion is to ponder your favourite boy names if you are planning on more kids. Does a fave name get cancelled because of one of these two sister names? (ie Elliott, Emmett, Linus, Leo…)
What if you call Eloise Ellie or Lola (Or Lulu or Elle or anything) to avoid Weezy? I think Eloise “Lola” ties in nicely to Lyla. I definitely think Eliza is the obvious solution but definitely choose the name that you love, not the one you think you should love. Some other ideas:
-Alice
-Amelia (Lia, Millie, Mila, Mia)
-Amelie
-Lola
-Felicity
-Sylvie
I also think that with a last name starting with “S”, Eloise doesn’t flow as well – Eloise Stuart has that double “S” sound whereas “Eliza Stuart” can be pronounced more clearly as two separate names.
That is a really good point!
Congrats on your daughter! You have some great names to choose from and maybe once you see her to y face something will just click? Or maybe Dad will give in to Eloise once he sees how strong and amazing her mama is after bringing her into this world!
I think Eliza is a perfect compromise choice and it really is such a lovely, underused name. Eloise would be my second pick but only slightly less than Eliza. And for what it’s worth, I think Eloise is much more likely to be shortened to something like Ellie, Ella, Lola, or Lulu before being shortened to something less like Wheezy. Lyla is pretty as well but I do think all the spelling variations adds a little bit of complexity to it.
I agree that Eliza sounds like the perfect name. It’s just a matter of accepting that neither of you will get your favorite name, and you have to give up of that to get the next best thing for you as a couple and for your daughter.
I don’t want to confuse you, but maybe there are other options you didn’t think of:
Isla
Elise
Myla
Eileen
Maya
Kaya
Elodie
Iris
Hi! My nieceโs name is Eloise and now I cannot think of her as anything else, but I remember not being sure if I loved the name for the โwheezeโ sound initially. Maybe you just havenโt found the name yet. Would you want to keep exploring similar names and see if there is one you and your husband both love?
Here are some ideas:
Elise
Elara
Elsa
Elidi
Eugenie
I know Elsa became popular because of Frozen, but I really love it. I think it is simple and sort of like Clara, a name that is popular now, and maybe this will be one that you and your husband will love. I think I would keep exploring names until you find one you both love, butโฆthat being saidโฆI like Eliza a lot too!
Aww congratulations on your daughter! Of your 3 names, I like Eloise the best too. In case this will convince your husband, if you come up with your own nickname for people to use, itโs even less likely that anyone would invent Wheezy as another nickname.
If that doesnโt help, do you like Elodie or Elowen? Both have some of the same sounds as your favourites.
I agree with Abby, although Lyla is a beautiful name, whenever I meet someone with a Li- name I struggle to remember their name. Was it Lilac, Layla, Leela, Lola. Im embarrassed to admit this but for some reason they meld together in my brain. I have the same problem with Ki-names -Kyla, Kayla, Keelee etc. I love names & understand the importance of getting someoneโs name right, but it still happens. Having said that, I would avoid Lyla if possible.
Eliza is a lovely choice too. Once you see your babyโs face, maybe it will be obvious who she is.
You are probably not looking for suggestions, but in case you are, what about Sally?
Congratulations on your daughter.
It’s going to be hard to come up with anything better than Eliza. It’s a lovely name and combines your choices well.
Lois has less wheeze to it than Eloise.
It has an L sound like Lyla so it may appeal to you.
There’s also Lydia as an option.
I’m sure you’ll find the perfect name when you see her face to face.