Naming Twins: Family Name Picked for the Boy

Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.

FINDING A GREAT NAME FOR HIS SISTER

Courtney writes:

My husband and I are expecting our first, and almost certainly only, children at the end of this year. We’re having twins, and while we’re overjoyed, I feel like the naming part is harder than I expected.

In my husband’s family, the eldest son is always named the reverse of his dad’s name. So James Michael names his son Michael James and so on. It started with my husband’s great-great-grandfather, and there’s a story there.

When we first talked about it, my husband said he would be okay not continuing the tradition. But now that there’s an actual baby on the way, it’s pretty obvious that he wants to name his son James Michael – really, really wants to …

In exchange, he’s said that I can choose any name for our daughter that I want, but he definitely has names that he likes less.

For example, I’ve always loved the name Annabelle. I probably wouldn’t choose it, because it’s the name of my (long since crossed the rainbow bridge) cat. But he clearly didn’t like it.

Here are my questions:

• Should we stick with tradition for our son’s name? There’s really not anything I like better and I think James Michael is totally fine.
• I really need help with a name for our little girl! I do like names that are little bit longer, and I dislike anything with a pronunciation problem. Like Caroline/Carolyn bothers me.
• Assuming we use James, not another J name. I like Josephine, but I think two J names is one too many.
• Nothing too old lady. My sister keeps suggesting names like Esther, Frances, and Millie, but that’s not me at all.
• I don’t really like last names as first names.

The one name that I think we both like is Lily/Lillian, but I feel like that’s a name I hear a lot already. I don’t mind popular, especially because James is going to have a very popular first name, but still.

Please read on for my response and leave your helpful suggestions in the comments.

NAMING A SISTER FOR JAMES MICHAEL

Abby replies:

Congratulations on your twins!

I think the reality is this: you’re willing to go along with this family naming tradition. It feels meaningful to your husband and doesn’t take anything away from you.

In fact, it opens the door to choosing your daughter’s name with a significant degree of freedom.

You know your husband, so I’ll defer to you on whether this means he’ll go along with ANY name you pick, or whether you’ll still need some level of agreement.

The thing is that even if he’ll agree to any name you choose, I can see that you’d like to avoid something he just plain dislikes, right?

So we’re looking for a name that’s like Annabelle, Caroline, Josephine, and Lillian/Lily, but maybe a little less popular, starting with a letter other than J, with a single pronunciation, and no one in your immediate family sharing the name, 4-legged or otherwise.

I think that’s doable, so let’s brainstorm some options.

LONGER GIRL NAMES

AURELIA

While the names on your list avoid the -a ending, I still think Aurelia fits with your list – ancient, grand, important, but also feminine and just familiar enough.

GENEVIEVE

A logical substitute for Josephine. The sounds are similar, but the initials aren’t the same.

ELOISE

I love the idea of a Top Ten name like James with a Top 100 name for his sister. Eloise is familiar, energetic, feminine, sparky. It pairs with James, but it’s not too expected.

KATHERINE

Or maybe you’ll decide to really lean in to the classic vibe? If so, James and Katherine are great together.

LORELEI

Lily and Lillian are rich in the L sound, as are lots of other great names. Would Lorelei appeal? It’s longer and maybe a bit more distinctive, but ultimately very much an L-L kind of name, just like Lily – or Layla or Lilah or Liliana, come to that.

SERENA

A straightforward name with a hint of magic.

TEAGAN

I wonder if you’d like a far more contemporary name? Something like Teagan (or Marlowe or Palmer or Adair or Avery) that feels like a tailored surname. Because really anything goes with James.

VIVIAN/VIVIENNE

Crisp, sharp, tailored, and nicely feminine, too. Vivienne substitutes for Josephine or Annabelle; Caroline and Lillian make me think of Vivian.

MIDDLE NAME IDEAS

Because James Michael’s name is a heavy-hitter of a family name, I’d like to suggest you consider something meaningful for your daughter’s middle. Courtney, maybe? Or your mother’s name or grandmother’s maiden name or pretty much anything from your side of the family. If that doesn’t work, a favorite fictional character or a hero of yours might be another option.

But I do think it might balance out that significant family name and make your daughter feel like her name is richly meaningful, too.

Which brings me to my suggestions: Katherine Courtney or Vivian Courtney. Both seem like obvious choices for James’ sister, but don’t repeat any sounds and feel nicely different compared to James – no tongue twisters here.

Readers, over to you! What would you name a twin sister for James Michael?