Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, we discuss reader’s name questions, usually on Tuesdays and Fridays. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.
NAMING A SIBLING FOR BIRDIE
Nicole writes:
We named our daughter Eleanor Wren thinking we might call her Ellie, but also believing we weren’t really nickname people.
Turns out we were wrong. Within a few weeks, we were calling our daughter Birdie. She is now turning three and everyone calls her Birdie. It’s the name tag on her cubby/coat hook at daycare even.
We’ve talked about possibly legally changing her name to Birdie Eleanor or Wren Eleanor or something in the future.
Right now, we’re focused on what to name her sister or brother, due in January. We feel very undecided about how to handle the name/nickname situation.
For Birdie, our boy name list was very traditional – Henry, Charles/Charlie, James. My ideas have changed a lot and now we’re considering Arlo, Miles, or maybe Charlie, but not Charles. I feel like these names would go with Birdie, but also with Eleanor/Ellie if she changes her mind about her nickname in a few years.
We didn’t really have a runner-up name for Birdie, and I think this is where I feel the most conflicted. Our list so far is:
- Katherine called Kit/Kitty – Sort of the obvious choice, but I feel like Birdie and Kitty are too similar, and maybe it’s kind of forced
- Millicent called Millie – So I always liked Millie but didn’t like any of the longer names for it, and I think that’s still true, though Millicent has grown on me. Another issue is that Ellie and Millie are very similar if Birdie ever changes her mind
- Scout – I like this in theory, but I’m not sure it’s enough of a name
- Sadie – Same as Scout, but I really like it with Birdie, but there’s not really a full name I like for Sadie, including Sarah which might be traditional but seems awkward
- Lula – Found this on a random list and fell in love. I like how it’s a nickname, but just like Birdie, it still works as a full name, too
I’d say that Lula is my top name for a girl and Arlo for a boy. I feel pretty settled with Arlo but very undecided on Lula. My husband is very laid back about this and tends to warm up to any name I suggest, but not always immediately so I don’t want to leave this decision for too late. Like he really likes Arlo now but thought it was too different when I first mentioned it.
Please read on for my reply and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
FINDING NAMES TO MATCH BIRDIE
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your new baby!
It’s funny how we assume we’re not really nickname people, maybe based on our own experience. But then we’re holding our sweet little baby in our arms and suddenly everything changes.
There’s no right or wrong approach to naming your second child, but it is that rare parenting experience that gets harder and harder as our families grow.
Of course we want to be fair! But that would require being able to see the future, and understand how our children will react to their given names ten, fifteen, or more years from now.
Since that’s not possible, here’s what I’d suggest:
- First, focus on choosing the name you love. It will match because it’s the name you and your husband choose at this moment, for this specific child, in your very specific family.
- See if you can find a name where both the nickname and formal name appeal to you – especially for a daughter. It sounds like you’re truly drawn to casual choices like Millie and Lula, but would prefer to find a more obvious nickname/formal name pairing this time.
- Be open to serendipity – just like you were with your firstborn’s name. And, of course, know that if your child arrives and you end up using a completely different nickname or never shortening their name or any other surprising outcome? It will still be absolutely fine.
That said, let’s see if we can find some new ideas that give you a Birdie-compatible short form paired with a more obvious longer version … or maybe a feminine equivalent of Arlo? Either way, they have to be a solid sibling for Birdie.
FRESH SUGGESTIONS: NICKNAME-PLUS-FORMAL NAME
CHARLOTTE called CHARLIE
If you love the nickname Charlie, would you consider Charlotte called Charlie? Yes, it’s a very popular, Top Ten name. But Charlie is sparky and fun, a sister for Birdie. And yet, it’s an obvious first/nickname combination, too.
GRACE called GRACIE
As tailored as Wren, but with a sweet, affectionate short form, too.
JOSEPHINE called JOSIE
Josephine offers lots of nickname options, but Josie is the 21st century default.
LOUISA/LOUISE called LULA
I almost suggested Eloise called Lula … but two names that could potentially shorten to Ellie is a recipe for a different kind of problem. But Louisa and Louise are both obvious paths to Lula that might be just the right amount of formal name.
MARGARET called MAISIE
Or Maggie or Daisy or Meg or … you get the idea. Margaret is another nickname-rich possibility, but I think Maisie best matches the energy of a sibling for Birdie, as well as Sadie and Millie.
ROSEMARY called ROMY
A personal favorite of mine, and one that I think might work really well for your family, too. Romy splits the difference between retro Kitty and modern Scout. It’s unexpected, but just on the right side of familiar. As a sibling for Birdie, Romy feels sweet and surprising, too.
FRESH SUGGESTIONS: SOMETHING LIKE ARLO
BLAIR
I wonder if you’d like something that’s a little more tailored? Blair is closer to Wren, but I like the way Blair and Birdie share an initial.
BRIAR
For another B name, nature name Briar might appeal.
ESME
Vintage Esme is at peak popularity in recent years. I think it’s the feminine equivalent of Arlo – rooted in history, brief and complete, distinctive in sound.
MARGOT
A rising favorite, Margot might be the perfect compromise if you’re looking for a nickname-proof first that feels vintage.
SYLVIE
I suggest Sylvie a lot, but it’s a problem-solver of a name. There’s a lot of sound in just two syllables, and it manages to be casual but also complete.
ZARA
I wonder if Zara might appeal? It’s a two-syllable, ends-with-a name in the key of Emma or Ella, but that zippy Z makes it feel distinctive and memorable.
Overall, I’m most drawn to a name like Louise Blair, called Lula. I love the way it parallels Eleanor Wren called Birdie. But I’m also going to vote for Esme. It works if you don’t change your daughter’s legal name: Eleanor and Esme. But it sounds like a sister for Birdie, too, doesn’t it? I wonder if something like Esme Briar would appeal?
