Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.
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WILL JOSEPHINE ALWAYS BE JOSIE?
Keeley writes:
We are expecting our second, and final, child this winter. Our son is Owen Michael. We agreed on his name quickly and have never regretted it.
This time, we’re having a girl, and we have a dilemma.
We agree on the name Josephine BUT ONLY Josephine. I have a strong negative association with someone called Josie, and would never want that to be our daughter’s name.
Should we go ahead and name her Josephine? Or should we choose another name from our list?
If it helps, our girls’ list is pretty much the same from our first pregnancy: Charlotte, Amelia, maybe Adeline, Katherine, or Annabelle. (Though I like Annabelle more than my husband, and I think it’s his last choice.)
My husband says it’s fine, but I don’t want to regret this. Thank you!
Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
WE CAN MANAGE NICKNAMES … FOR A WHILE
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your new daughter!
I think this is a good news/bad news situation.
Let’s begin with the good, because there’s a A LOT of good:
- Automatic shortening of names is far rarer now than ever before. If you introduce your daughter as Josephine and put Josephine on all of her official forms and write it on her lunchbox, chances are that she will be called Josephine by everyone.
- Likewise, a great many kids are Katherine-not-Kate, David-not-Davey. That helps, too!
- Like Charlotte and Amelia, plenty of kids use Josephine specifically as a full, complete name. Once again, this suggests that you’ll be able to call her Josephine and have the world do the same.
But here’s the reality:
- Josie is the default nickname for Josephine. Well, there’s also Jo. If you were trying to avoid your Josephine being called Fifi, I’d hold up an All Clear sign. But Josie is an obvious – the obvious – choice, especially now.
- You’re not the only people who might nickname your daughter. It’s one thing to explain to your sister-in-law or your daughter’s preschool teacher that she’s Josephine in full, thanks very much. But what if your Josephine comes home from second grade demanding to be called Josie? What if it’s the preferred short form all of her middle school friends gravitate towards? What if it’s the way Owen – or another child in your life – says your daughter’s name? It can happen.
Because it’s one thing to tell a caregiver you call your daughter Josephine. It’s something else entirely to tell your own daughter that a nickname is off-limits.
And so this might call for some soul-searching.
I will add that, should your son call his sister by that nickname? It could very well transform Josie in a heartbeat.
If the risk of your daughter preferring Josie to Josephine is a problem, then I’d:
- Choose another formal name. Charlotte and Amelia are great, sound good with Owen, and cannot possibly be shortened to that exact nickname.
- Stick with Josephine, but select a nickname of your own. If you like Jo – or Sosie or Joss or Posy – then using it sometimes is almost a preemptive strike. It’s almost like saying “if you must shorten Josephine’s name, then call her this, please.”
How to decide? I think it really comes down to thinking through a future scenario where your daughter embraces the nickname.
In many cases, children can completely redefine a name for us. But in other cases, a name is so strongly linked to a traumatic part of our past that the name is ruined forever.
I can’t tell from your letter which category this falls into. And, of course, time can diminish even the most painful of memories.
On balance, I think I probably wouldn’t risk it. I’d name your daughter Charlotte or Amelia. Maybe even Amelia Josephine or Charlotte Josephine?
But it really comes down to your personal feelings here, and there’s not an absolute right answer.
Readers, if you were determined to avoid a nickname, would you cross out the formal name, too? Do you think they can name their daughter Josephine without hearing her called Josie eventually?
I’m in the camp of using Josephine but recognizing the gamble. At a certain age, kids (or their friends!) get to choose their name. This is the way of the world.
My neighbor tattooed his daughter’s name on his arm when she was born. At college, the daughter decided to change her name 100% and now the daughter’s new partner has the daughter’s birth name. My neighbor jokes how he is the most supportive dad on earth because he has a tattoo of his daughter’s partner’s name on his shoulder!
Point being – life is never what we expect. You cannot make any decision with 100% certainty. And all kids are one Disney movie away from being a cliche or a hated villain.
So, use the name you love. Explain your choice with love. And she will feel loved regardless of whether she is called Josephine or Josie or Jojo or River or Champ or Scout or … you get the point. Lead with love always and be ready to love her as she chooses a different path if/when that happens.
Now that is a great story about the tattoo!!
I think in your case, I would probably choose another name. I’m usually all for going with the full name (I’m the mum of an Eleanor who is always, always only Eleanor) but you seem to have such a strong reaction to Josie that I really wouldn’t risk it.
Any of your other choices would be lovely; I also want to suggest Delphine or Seraphina or even Persephone as alternatives to Josephine.
Or, how about Jessamine – if Jessie isn’t too similar to Josie for you, it could work.
I also thought of Rosie as an alternative to Josie – and Rosalie shares a lot with Josephine, so that’s another option.
There’s also Jocelyn, which feels perfect for Owen’s sister, and is much more likely to avoid a nickname than Josephine (or, if it is nicknamed, it would be Joss instead of Josie).
Lovely suggestions – thank you!
And one more: Celestine. (โEenโ sound like Josephine).
Hi-I also just thought of another name that is sort of similar to Josephine and wanted to share it: Emmeline. (It has the โineโ sound and not โeen,โ but I feel like it is the same style & nn could be Emmy. Anywayโฆbest wishes again!
I agree with Abby, if you really want nothing to do with the nickname Josie, don’t risk it, because you never know what she’ll want to BE called.
Charlotte sounds great with Owen! I would choose Charlotte Josephine.
Or Sophie! Similar sounds, but no Josie nn.
Owen and Sophie!
My two cents is your strong association may wane once your daughter is here and IF she eventually wants to be called Josie. I had a frenemy who just happens to have a name used fairly often on kids and when my eldestโs new BFF had the same name, I cringed. But 6 years later and it just took me a minute to remember that association.
I like Abbyโs #2 suggestion – name her Josephine but have a nickname you do like at the ready, for those who are insistent. Iโve totally seen it happen where grandparents or family friends use whatever name they think is best, despite polite correcting. Case in point a baby named Elizabeth whose parents went with Betty, but the paternal grandparents said right from the start they didnโt โagreeโ with that name and insist on Lizzie. So disrespectful, yet true. Is your son going to trip over Josephine? Can he help choose another nickname like Jojo or Joey or Jay? Is he O sometimes? Maybe O and J are intuitive for people. (All your other choices come with nickname dilemmas so go with what you agree on and love!!)
Good luck!
What about Josefina pronounce with H- sound?
I donโt think you can control a nickname and if you try you will come across as overly controlling. A lot depends on the type of kid she is. I never acquired a nickname. Other Andreas are Andi or Annie or Drea. The kid I knew called Josephine was only ever called Josephine. She was that sort of kid. On the other hand, she might be a Josie or a Jo or a Joey or a JoJo or a Fifi or a JJ or a Posey, names I associate respectively with girl next door, Jo from Little Women, a tomboy, a cheerleader, a coquette, a varsity basketball star, and a cottage core girl in a floral print dress. The advantages of a name like Josephine is she can be any or all these things with different people or in different phases of her life. Call her Josephine, but donโt try to limit her to only being Josephine. Itโs certainly a nice name. The same caveats apply to Charlotte, Adeline, Amelia, Annabelle, or Katherine, all of which also have lots of nicknames.
As someone who could have been nicknamed Chrissy or Tina, I just was able to steer clear of those nicknames & I have the nickname Nina because my sister couldnโt pronounce Cristina when she was younger. I think you can get away with Josephine, not Josie, but I think there will inevitably be some nickname-maybe Jojo. I have also heard of Posie as a nn for Josephine. I really like it, so I think you could use it! Best wishes!
I fully agree with Abby on all points. You may be able to get by with “she’s Josephine, not Josie” for so long before she may decide herself that she wants to be a Josie. If you truly despise the nickname Josie then it may not be worth the risk in naming her Josephine. Josephine does make for a great middle name option if you decide not to use it as a first.
I do think you have some other great options on your list. Amelia feels like a perfect choice; long and feminine like Josephine but no automatic nicknames. Or if you’re ok with nicknames but just not Josie then I think Katherine is great too. Owen and Amelia. Owen and Katherine “Kate”.
If you are open to more suggestions then perhaps you would like…
Caroline. Owen and Caroline. Similar vibes to Adeline.
Norah. Owen and Norah. Feels like a nickname but works perfectly as a standalone name. No risk in being shortened because it already is a shorter name.
Rosalie. Owen and Rosalie. This one feels very similar to Josephine in sound but may be at risk of being shortened to Rosie. But maybe Rosie is different enough from your bad association with Josie?
Evelyn. Owen and Evelyn. Similar vibes to Katherine
Madeline or Madeleine. Owen and Madeline. Owen and Maddie. Similar vibes to Adeline