Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.
NAMING TWINS WHEN YOUR STYLES ARE VERY DIFFERENT
Lena writes:
My husband and I are expecting our first children, twins, due in late December but we can’t agree on many names, which is frustrating. We have different styles and can be really picky and stubborn.
We both prefer first names outside of the US Top 150, though a little bit above 150 is doable. We don’t know the genders.
My preferences:
- No masculine/gender-neutral names for girls, even as nicknames, though I’m open to gender-neutral names for boys.
- I love classic and vintage names.
- No trendy, overly modern names, names with kre8ive spellings, random word names, or anything that sounds like it’s a pet’s name.
- No juniors. I don’t mind a variation of his name, but not the exact name. (His name is Eric, which could be a middle name or we could use a variation. We like Frederick. He loves Freddie on its own, but I prefer it as a nickname. For a girl, Erica could work for a middle.)
My husband’s preferences:
- He hates most vintage names which equal old lady/old man to him.
- He prefers more modern names and likes some alternative spellings – but I’m not a fan. It’s a pain to have to correct people and I hate y’s in place of other letters.
- Gender-neutral names for girls are okay.
- If we have a boy, he’d like a junior.
Names I’ve suggested for a daughter include:
- Daphne – he thinks the Scooby Doo association is too strong
- Fiona – he thinks of the ogre in Shrek
- Lilia – he likes it but doesn’t feel it’s the one
- Matilda – he thinks it’s too old and I hate the nickname Mattie/Maddie
- Phoebe – the spelling is odd to him and doesn’t look how it’s pronounced
- Susanna – he wants an h on the end if we use it, but I don’t like the h
- Vera – he thinks it’s too old lady
- Zara – he thinks of the store
Names I’ve suggested for a son include:
- Callum – he hates the sound
- Desmond – too old
- Dorian – he thinks it’s too feminine
- Edmund – too old and he hates “Ed”
- Hugo – too old for him
- Rowan – He just doesn’t like it
Names he has suggested for a daughter include:
- Adelyn – I hate -lyn names because they’re trendy and overused
- Becca – I don’t mind it as a nickname for Rebecca, but it looks incomplete by itself. He doesn’t like Rebecca
- Bella – too Twilight for me
- Coraline – because of the Tim Burton movie it’s hard to see it for an actual person
- Elara – I just don’t like it. I don’t know why
- Emery – I’m not a fan of it for a girl
- Everly – I hate it, especially for girls
- Finley – I don’t like it for a girl, but like it for a boy. He doesn’t
- Gwendolyn – I dislike the -lyn ending. Evelyn is okay, but way too popular
- Indie – it’s not a real name to me
- Jovie – I don’t get the appeal of it
- Juliet – I think of Romeo and Juliet
- Kinsley/Kinsleigh – It’s trendy and un-feminine and I hate anything with -leigh
- Luna – it’s a dog name to me and it’s very common now
- Savannah – I think it’s tacky and doesn’t age well
Names he has suggested for a son include:
- Kayden – way too trendy for me
- Kingston – feels like it’s trying too hard
- Lorcan – I’m just not a fan
- Maverick – it’s tacky and too try-hard
- Miller – I think of the beer
- Ryker – I think of the prison
- Zayne – I can’t picture it for an adult
We both like, but aren’t 100% sure about these girl names:
- Adelaide Katherine “Adele” or “Ada”
- Amara Genevieve
- Anastasia Rose “Anya”
- Anneliese/Annalise Pearl “Anya”
- Camilla Jane
- Cassandra Rose
- Cecilia Rose
- Cecily Mae
- Corinna Jane (cor-REE-na)
- Dahlia Mae
- Greta Jane
- Hattie
- Felicity Anne
- Juliana Rose
- Kaia
- Tabitha Maeve
- Lorelei Elizabeth
- Giselle Rose
- Maren
- Seraphina
- Tessa
- Vada
- Viviana Mae “Vivi”
We both like, but aren’t 100% sure about these boy names:
- Alistair Thomas
- Casper
- Dashiel (He likes Dash, I don’t)
- Griffin
- Jensen
- Kellan
- Magnus Oliver
- Reid
- Remy (does it stand on its own though? We don’t usually like nicknames as given names)
- Stellan (We’re just worried about it sounding like Stalin)
- Tobias James “Toby”
- Wesley Elliot “Wes” (we’re just not fans of the popularity)
Regarding middle names:
- For a girl, he likes Lynn, Marie, Grace, Ann/Anne, Faith, and Hope as middle names for girls. I agree on Anne or Hope.
- For a boy, he likes James, Michael, Thomas, Wyatt, Hayden, and Logan for boys. I agree on Thomas or James.
- I love Rose/Rosalie, Jane, Elizabeth, Mae/Maeve, Kate/Katherine, Pearl, and Ivy as middle names for girls. He likes Rose, Jane, Katherine, and Ivy.
- For boys, I love Wesley, Elliot, Alfred, Francis, Callum, and Oliver for boys. He likes Elliot, Wesley, and Oliver from them.
Our last name is H0ltzm@nn.
Please help us with feedback and suggest more names and combos we might agree on. Thank you!
Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
A GREAT START FINDING MIDDLE GROUND
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your twins!
First up: you are doing The Work.
Are your styles very different? Yes. Are you finding the middle ground despite these differences? Again, absolutely yes.
It’s impressive!
Before we go any further, I wonder if you’ve considered two things:
- Does one of you care more about names overall? It sounds like you might be equally invested in the process, which is great! But this doesn’t have to be a 50/50 vote. It’s okay to make it, say, 60/40 if one of you feels Very Strongly about something. In fact, if one of you feels very strongly about, say, a middle name being Eric/Erica, then that gives you one decision to work from – which might help.
- Sometimes including middle names can simplify a decision. At other times, it makes it harder. You actually need to choose four names, right? I think the best approach is to choose your two favorite boy names and two favorite girl names and work from there. For this reason, I’d put all thoughts of middle names aside right now – unless there’s an obvious choice that simplifies the process, like one partner really preferring a specific middle.
FINDING TWO GREAT GIRL NAMES
Let’s start by looking at your existing list.
Because spelling and pronunciation are both concerns for you, I’m going to suggest dropping Anneliese/Annalise. It’s a personal favorite, but I do think it’s a ticket to a lifetime of “My name is Anneliese, A-N-N-E-L-I-E-S-E. Yes, I-E.” And there’s no spelling that really fixes that, at least not in the US. Likewise, I think pronouncing Corinna could be a challenge. And while Camilla isn’t especially popular, Camila ranks #13 in the US, so I think that fails your popularity test – and sets up a lifetime of Camilla-with-two-Ls.
Now let’s rank the rest of your list.
My two least favorite names for you are:
- Kaia, because it feels much more like his style than yours, and feels tough to match with the rest of your list. (Kaia and Amara, maybe?)
- Hattie, which might’ve been my favorite … but with your last name being H0ltzm@nn, it’s such a strong, memorable choice that nothing else matches it.
Somewhere in the middle, I’d list:
- Amara – If only because it’s a little too modern
- Anastasia “Anya” – I wonder if this is mostly making the list as another way to get to Anya?
- Cecilia – Such a great name, but I think it pales compared to Cecily
- Seraphina – Quite stylish and undeniably appealing, but it feels like you have stronger choices.
- Tessa – This just feels like too much of a compromise, somehow?
- Vada – I think I’m putting this in the Kaia/Amara category almost, even though I know it’s vintage.
And my top choices for you:
- I think Cassandra, Tabitha, Lorelei, Juliana, and Viviana are all great with your surname and feel like solid compromise choices.
- Cecily, Felicity, Dahlia, and Giselle are great, too – but maybe more on the pretty/vintage side than your husband seems to prefer.
- Maren is a logical compromise name between your two styles, but it does feel a little tough to match from the rest of your list.
- Greta seems to check all the boxes for you both.
- Adelaide leaps out at me as the clear front runner – but would you mind if she ended up answering to Addie? It does seem like this takes Adelyn from his list and tweaks it to something more distinctive and vintage in style.
A few fresh suggestions to consider:
- Ada – As a midpoint between Vada and Adelaide
- Anya – On its own, rather than as a nickname
- Genevieve – This appears only as a possible middle name, but it shares the nickname Vivi and Jensen’s first syllable
- Veronica/Veronika – It’s Viviana, but with the name Eric nested within
Combinations for two girls:
- Dahlia and Giselle
- Ada and Maren
- Anya and Greta
- Genevieve and Adelaide
- Veronica “Vera” and Adelaide “Ada”
FINDING TWO GREAT BOY NAMES
Again, let’s begin with your existing list.
As much as I think Dashiel/Dash is an obvious compromise, if you’re not wild about the short form, I feel like this should be dropped. I’m also going to suggest dropping Alistair. It’s such a great name, but it’s absolutely a spelling challenge – and it seems like something you’d prefer to avoid. (Though I’ll concede that, for the right name, it can absolutely be worth it.)
Moving on to ranking the rest of your list.
My least favorite names for you are:
- Casper – It’s such a great name, and yet … it’s really different. Maybe too different? I considered longer Cas- names, but Caspian and Cassian don’t sound great with your surname. There’s Cashel, but I think that’s likely to be too similar to Dash/Dashiel.
- Stellan – I would rate it higher, but once you have in your head “wait, this sounds too much like …” I suspect it’s not going to work out for you, at least not for this child
Somewhere in the middle, I’d put:
- Kellan – Does this tip too much into the modern category?
- Remy – I’d like to put this closer to the top of the list. Because it does stand on its own! It’s French and complete, a formal name since the 400s. But I concede that it feels a little trendier and more modern than you’d prefer.
And at the top of the list:
- Griffin – I feel like it’s a good mix of current and traditional
- Jensen – Maybe a little more in the Kellan camp than, say, Tobias, but it’s unexpected and I think that makes it work
- Magnus – a big, grand name with history to spare
- Reid – brief, complete, polished, I think this is one of those exactly right traditional-meets-modern picks
- Tobias – this is more old school, but if your husband is on board, then maybe it’s The Name
- Wesley – Yes, it’s more popular than you might like, and yet, it’s not exactly Liam/Oliver/Noah
Some fresh suggestions to consider:
- Everett – Yes, it ranks in the Top 100, but nothing sounds quite like Everett. It combines the best of all those V sounds you love with names like Elliot.
- Frederick, called Freddie – A formal name that incorporates dad’s name and an old-fashioned nickname that makes it clear your kid isn’t a junior.
Combinations for two boys:
- Reid and Wesley
- Reid and Griffin
- Frederick “Freddie” and Tobias “Toby”
Combinations for boy/girl twins:
- Veronica and Frederick – Vera and Freddie – It’s all in on the named-after-dad idea, which is probably too much, and yet, the names sound far more like your style than his.
- Tobias and Adelaide – Toby and Ada are sweet together, and the names feel like strong compromises between your two styles
- Wesley and Maren – Both are vaguely surname in style, but mostly feel like traditional first names that fit with current trends
- Ada and Reid – or even Adelaide and Reid? Except that visually I think Adelaide overwhelms Reid when I write the names. Ada and Reid are just the right amount of repeating D sound.
I’m having a really hard time choosing favorites, but if I must? Right now, I’d say:
- Adelaide and Genevieve for two girls, called Ada and Vivi. (Or Gigi?)
- Reid and Griffin for two boys, though I could easily swap Wesley in for either of those names.
- For boy/girl twins, Ada and Reid are an easy choice. I’d be tempted to use Ada Katherine and Reid Frederick.
Thanks for your help with naming our twins! They were born on 11/22/24, a month early but they’re doing great!
We named them Frederick Thomas “Freddie” and Dahlia Katherine. We like that Frederick honors Erik, but in a more subtle way, enough for it to stand out but still have the connection that he wanted, and Dahlia is one of our favorite floral names. They also honor our German and Swedish backgrounds (he’s German, I have German and Swedish ancestry, but we were both born and raised in the US). Our final choices were narrowed down to Dahlia or Cecily for girls and Frederick or Tobias for boys and when we saw their faces, Frederick and Dahlia just felt right.
Love the update! I think you have a terrific shortlist.
Just adding a few additional options for honoring Erik:
Erikson (literally “son of Erik”)
Alaric
Broderick (potential nickname “Brody”)
Cedric
Derek
Emeric
Merrick
We like Alaric and Merrick, but prefer Alaric because Merrick is a brand of dog food. I like Cedric and Emeric, he doesn’t.
Thanks to everyone who helped Erik and I with finding names for our twins!
So far, we’ve shortlisted:
Adelaide/Ada – leaning towards Adelaide and calling her Ada.
Tessa “Tess”
Cassandra “Cassie”
Greta
Maren
Kira – one of Erik’s new suggestions
Michaela – another of the names Erik just suggested
Dahlia
Anya
Cecily
Reid
Griffin
Tobias “Toby”
Frederick “Freddie”
Jensen
Magnus
Kieran
Callan – I suggested it as an alternative to Callum and Erik loves it
Everett – too common for us generally, but we could pair it with a distinctive middle and use a nickname
Our top pairings so far:
Adelaide and Cassandra
Dahlia and Cecily
Greta and Maren
Kira and Michaela
Tessa and Anya
Reid and Griffin
Tobias and Frederick
Jensen and Magnus
Everett and Callan
Kieran and Ronan
Kira and Magnus
Adelaide and Frederick
Michaela and Kieran
Dahlia and Jensen
Cecily and Tobias
I’m a bit late responding, but I just wanted to throw out Keira or Kieran as names which contain the letters of Erik, and also seem to fit as names that bridge the gap between what you and your husband like.
I also see that you’re uncertain on a nickname for Adelaide, so I’ll suggest Dell or Della or perhaps even Didi.
Interesting you suggested Keira, as Erik just suggested Kira (our favorite spelling because it’s simple and looks more polished and straightforward to us) the other day and I love it. We have Kira on our shortlist now. Lol. We like Kieran for a boy, but we obviously wouldn’t name twins Kira and Keiran. I’ve seen a couple in a documentary a long time ago and a woman named her twins Kira and Kieran, which is too much! I feel for all the twins who have matching names. They’re individuals too.
IDK if this is helpful. But one thing my husband I did was create a list of 10 names and then we each ranked how we felt about them from 1-10 and added the rankings up to see how the names scored. It seems like you could try this with the list of names you kind of agree on. Twins seem so hard because it’s two names! I think it will be about matching the styles – so you might want to make groupings of the name styles. I liked kind of all combinations of Tessa, Maren, Greta, Griffin, Reid, Wesley (i.e. Maren & Tessa, Greta & Reid, Griffin & Wesley, Tessa & Griffin… etc). My second group would be names Cassandra, Tabitha, Lorelei, Juliana, Cecily, Felicity, Giselle, Adelaide, Casper, Magnus, Tobias and I’ll add Frederick in too (i.e. Cassandra & Felicity, Adelaide & Tobias, Casper & Frederick). What I can say as a new mom is that I think you will love whatever their names are because you love them and you’ve obviously put so much thought into this process.
I like Reid and Griffin quite a bit. Nice, streamlined surname names with a long history of use and easy to spell. Reid Thomas and Griffin James?
For girls, Cassandra Rose and Tabitha Maeve. They sound like sisters, are both classic names that everyone will recognize, everyone will like and know how to spell, and they both have multiple cute nicknames โ Cassie, Casey, even Cece, and Sandi and Abby if you drop the t in Tabitha.
Either girlโs name goes with either boyโs name.