Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.
FINDING A GREAT NAME FOR HIS SISTER
Courtney writes:
My husband and I are expecting our first, and almost certainly only, children at the end of this year. We’re having twins, and while we’re overjoyed, I feel like the naming part is harder than I expected.
In my husband’s family, the eldest son is always named the reverse of his dad’s name. So James Michael names his son Michael James and so on. It started with my husband’s great-great-grandfather, and there’s a story there.
When we first talked about it, my husband said he would be okay not continuing the tradition. But now that there’s an actual baby on the way, it’s pretty obvious that he wants to name his son James Michael – really, really wants to …
In exchange, he’s said that I can choose any name for our daughter that I want, but he definitely has names that he likes less.
For example, I’ve always loved the name Annabelle. I probably wouldn’t choose it, because it’s the name of my (long since crossed the rainbow bridge) cat. But he clearly didn’t like it.
Here are my questions:
- Should we stick with tradition for our son’s name? There’s really not anything I like better and I think James Michael is totally fine.
- I really need help with a name for our little girl! I do like names that are little bit longer, and I dislike anything with a pronunciation problem. Like Caroline/Carolyn bothers me.
- Assuming we use James, not another J name. I like Josephine, but I think two J names is one too many.
- Nothing too old lady. My sister keeps suggesting names like Esther, Frances, and Millie, but that’s not me at all.
- I don’t really like last names as first names.
The one name that I think we both like is Lily/Lillian, but I feel like that’s a name I hear a lot already. I don’t mind popular, especially because James is going to have a very popular first name, but still.
Please read on for my response and leave your helpful suggestions in the comments.
NAMING A SISTER FOR JAMES MICHAEL
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your twins!
I think the reality is this: you’re willing to go along with this family naming tradition. It feels meaningful to your husband and doesn’t take anything away from you.
In fact, it opens the door to choosing your daughter’s name with a significant degree of freedom.
You know your husband, so I’ll defer to you on whether this means he’ll go along with ANY name you pick, or whether you’ll still need some level of agreement.
The thing is that even if he’ll agree to any name you choose, I can see that you’d like to avoid something he just plain dislikes, right?
So we’re looking for a name that’s like Annabelle, Caroline, Josephine, and Lillian/Lily, but maybe a little less popular, starting with a letter other than J, with a single pronunciation, and no one in your immediate family sharing the name, 4-legged or otherwise.
I think that’s doable, so let’s brainstorm some options.
LONGER GIRL NAMES
AURELIA
While the names on your list avoid the -a ending, I still think Aurelia fits with your list – ancient, grand, important, but also feminine and just familiar enough.
GENEVIEVE
A logical substitute for Josephine. The sounds are similar, but the initials aren’t the same.
ELOISE
I love the idea of a Top Ten name like James with a Top 100 name for his sister. Eloise is familiar, energetic, feminine, sparky. It pairs with James, but it’s not too expected.
KATHERINE
Or maybe you’ll decide to really lean in to the classic vibe? If so, James and Katherine are great together.
LORELEI
Lily and Lillian are rich in the L sound, as are lots of other great names. Would Lorelei appeal? It’s longer and maybe a bit more distinctive, but ultimately very much an L-L kind of name, just like Lily – or Layla or Lilah or Liliana, come to that.
SERENA
A straightforward name with a hint of magic.
TEAGAN
I wonder if you’d like a far more contemporary name? Something like Teagan (or Marlowe or Palmer or Adair or Avery) that feels like a tailored surname. Because really anything goes with James.
VIVIAN/VIVIENNE
Crisp, sharp, tailored, and nicely feminine, too. Vivienne substitutes for Josephine or Annabelle; Caroline and Lillian make me think of Vivian.
MIDDLE NAME IDEAS
Because James Michael’s name is a heavy-hitter of a family name, I’d like to suggest you consider something meaningful for your daughter’s middle. Courtney, maybe? Or your mother’s name or grandmother’s maiden name or pretty much anything from your side of the family. If that doesn’t work, a favorite fictional character or a hero of yours might be another option.
But I do think it might balance out that significant family name and make your daughter feel like her name is richly meaningful, too.
Which brings me to my suggestions: Katherine Courtney or Vivian Courtney. Both seem like obvious choices for James’ sister, but don’t repeat any sounds and feel nicely different compared to James – no tongue twisters here.
How do you feel about including your daughter in the family name tradition?
With a deeply meaningful, heritage-rich name going to one child, there’s a risk that the other child might feel left out. I imagine that could be especially true with twins.
When your daughter tells the story of her name, do you want it to be, “Well, my brother was named after our father, and his father, going back to our great-great-great-grandfather, but since I’m a girl, our dad didn’t really care what I was named, so our mom just picked something she liked”?
If you were having twin boys, how would you handle the situation? Would you give the family name to whichever twin happened to be born first, then pick a name you simply liked for the second twin? Or would you find a way to give both children names with a sense of history?
If the latter, I recommend exploring ways to do the same for your daughter.
One way to include your daughter would be for her to receive a name from your side of the family. You could reverse your first and middle name, just like your husband wants to do for your son. Or maybe there are other family names in your lineage that you could use.
Alternatively, you could split James and Michael between your two children. Some possibilities:
James & Michelle
James & Michaela
James & Micah
James & Micheline
Or, if your husband is open to giving his first name directly to your son:
Michael & Jacqueline (from Jacques, the French version of James)
Michael & Jamesina
Michael & James (which is growing in popularity as a girls’ name)
Michael & Jane
You could give both children a middle name from your side of the family. I love another commenter’s suggestion of Courtney as a middle name for your son. Or, if they will have your husband’s last name, both children could receive your maiden name in the middle spot.
On the other hand, if both children get a family first name, perhaps you could give yourselves freedom to choose a completely new name for each of the middle spots, for a mix of tradition and originality. For example:
James Matthew & Michelle Josephine
James Alexander & Micah Lillian
Michael Joseph & Jacqueline Margaret
Michael Thomas & Jane Annabelle
I think there are lots of options, and it sounds like your husband is open to fresh possibilities. Good luck with the decision!
Oh, I ADORE this idea!!
J@mes Mich@el and…….
Meredith Jane
Meredith June
Meredith Jean
I think any girl’s name would go with James. If you’re looking for one that is easily pronounced and understood, don’t use a name with a lot of spelling and/or pronunciation variants. My name is usually spelled one way but can be pronounced at least three ways, which can be annoying. Adeline, Madeline, Caitlin, Mackenzie, even Annabel/Annabelle are like that.
In addition to the others suggested, I’d suggest
Abigail
Adelaide
Amelia
Annabeth
Annalise
Annika
Arabella
Athena
Cassandra
Christina
Clementine
Eleanor
Elizabeth
Elowyn
Emily
Evangeline
Evelyn
Gwendolyn
Juliana
Lucille
Magnolia
Maria
Meredith
Miranda
Natalia/Natalie
Octavia
Ophelia
Penelope
Rebecca
Rosalie
Victoria
Adeline (Addie)
Amelia (Mia, Millie, Amy)
Arabella (Ari, Bella)
Charlotte (Charlie, Lottie)
Delphine (Della)
Eliza (Lizzy, Ellie)
Emmeline (Emmy)
Evelyn (Evie)
Lucy (Full names could be Lucille or Lucia)
Madeline (Maddie)
Rosaline/Rosemary (Rosie)
Susanna (Susie, Zuzu, Zuzie)
Sylvie
Lily and James sound so nice together… so its probably no wonder that there are two pretty major pop culture references there: Lily and James Potter (Harry’s parents) and Lily James, the actress.
Some other ideas:
Rose (or Rosalie)
Claire (or Clara)
Lydia
Cecilia
Antonia
Teresa
Zinnia
Leona
Naomi
Clementine
Gabriella
Roxanna
I came to suggest Grace (I know toddler twins named Grace and James). I like the symmetry of the similar endings on the “s” sound, and they’re both one syllable classics. I
Vivian is my favorite from Abby’s list. Other ideas:
Matilda
Louisa
Claudia
Ivy
Juliet/Guilietta
Giana
Diana
Kathleen
Anya
Delia
Also, a bit of an out of the box idea, since you’re having twins. How about James Courtney and (name) Michael? Courtney has history as a boy’s name, and Michael shows up as a girl’s name here and there. You could also use Michaela. Evelyn Michaela. Diana Michael. Splitting up James and Michael strikes me as something you might have chosen if both twins were boys.
Congratulations on your twins!! James Micheal lovely. I wonder if you’d considered these initials for your daughter J&M or the other way around like,
Marianne Juliet
Melissa Jane
Mary Jo