Update from Leah: “Our sweet little girl arrived early, but thankfully she is healthy and strong. After lots of discussion, we had almost compromised on Bella, but at the last minute, my husband agreed that she just looked like a Ruby. And so Ruby Jordan Boss-with-an-R is here! I love her name, and thank you to everyone who helped.”
Leah writes:
Our daughter will be here in a few more weeks, and we are so stuck. We have a list of names that all have a problem with them, or maybe we think there’s a problem with every name and we’re just being picky?
Some outside perspective would really help, especially because our families have voiced some definite opinions about names and they’re not really neutral at this point.
Our list:
ALICE – A new love, and one I’d use, except both Alice and our last name ending with the S sound is hissy.
JORDAN – Husband’s suggestion, and I’m just not on board. Maybe as a middle name?
LUNA – Not sure this is really me, and then again it’s kind of similar to my name, maybe.
MAISIE – Too little girl? I don’t like Margaret enough to use it, and I really don’t get Maisie from Margaret.
RUBY – I’ve always imagined having a daughter named Ruby, but our last name is Boss-with-an-R. My husband isn’t crazy about the initials R.R., and he’s already R.R., so I feel like that’s kind of settled.
TESSA – We both like this name, but it’s my husband’s ex-girlfriend, so maybe we shouldn’t consider it.
VERA/VERONICA – Veronica was my mom’s suggestion, before we realized we shouldn’t discuss it. I’m not sure about Veronica, but I’m warming up to the idea of Vera.
WILLA – My husband’s suggestion, and I love this so much! But my sister’s husband is William Jr. and I know they would name a son William III. (She’s not expecting now, but they have a one year old daughter, and I know they’re planning on more kids soon.)
Help, please!
Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your new daughter!
It sounds like you’ve got a great list. One of two things is probably true:
- You’ve focused so much on narrowing down your list that you’ve inadvertently ruled every name out. This is easy to do, because our tendency is to seek out flaws in names. It’s a trap, though, because you end up with a list of problems and reasons why-not. What you need is the opposite – a list of positive qualities and reasons to say yes!
- Or maybe you really do just need some fresh names. Maybe these issues are all dealbreakers, and it’s best to start with a blank slate.
Only you can know, of course, but from what you’ve shared, two names leap out:
RUBY – Okay, your husband dislikes the initials RR. But is that really a good enough reason to rule out your favorite name?
WILLA – Is this name really out? I can imagine that you might not name your daughter Willa if you had a nephew called Will. But there are so many unknowns in this situation. I think it might be worth exploring it a little more, especially because it sounds like you really do like the name.
NEW SUGGESTIONS
Let’s talk about some fresh ideas, too!
Based on your current list, I think we’re looking for a name with a hint of vintage style. Probably on the shorter side, and not likely to be reduced to a nickname. We’re avoiding anything that starts with an R.
ADA
Short and sweet, but with style to spare.
CHLOE
I almost suggested Phoebe, but that would mean two Friends characters in a single name. Chloe is another possibility, or maybe Daphne?
EDEN
This feels like a midway point between your style and your husband’s suggestion of Jordan.
LILY
While Lily has been popular for years, that’s because it’s a great name – elegant, approachable, and easy to wear.
LUCY
If not Ruby, would Lucy appeal?
MARGOT
You mentioned Maisie, which certainly can stand on its own. But I take your point about it sounding very casual. Margot is another Margaret name, but one with a little more heft.
STELLA
A logical alternative to Willa, with the bonus of a lovely meaning: star.
I’m just a little bit obsessed with the idea of Margot Boss-with-an-R, but I really like all of these alternatives.
I love Willa! And you know, if your sister does have a William, they might just call him Liam. You could go with Willow or Wilhelmina and call her Willa as a nickname. That way, it’s not too close to possible cousin William’s name. I also love Alice, even with your last name.
Maybe:
Addie (If you don’t mind the Paper Moon reference)
Helen
Orion
Ashton
Andi (short for Andrea and pronounced On-dee)
Susan
Gemma
Eliza
Lilla
Ivy
Sylvie
Daphne
Mae
Mabel
How about “Betty” or “Bette”? I just listened to the song, “Bette Davis Eyes” last night on the radio while in the car. It’s kind of retro like “Ruby”. I liked that “Vera” is on your list but I think it would be tough to say next to your last name.
There’s also “Trudy” as an alternative to “Ruby”. Nickname, “Tru/True”?
Trudy Boss-with-an-R
If you love the sound of Willa but can’t use it, I suggest Milla instead.
From your list I like Maisie, Ruby, Vera, and Willa.
From Swistle’s suggestions I like Eden and Margot.
You might like:
Anika / Annika — pronounced AH-nih-kuh. Anika Alice *oss, Annika Vera *oss.
Elowen — pronounced EL-oh-wen. Elowen Jordan *oss.
Evelyn — Evelyn Alice *oss.
Hazel — Hazel Jordan *oss.
Kira — pronounced KEAR-uh. Kira Eden *oss.
Margot — Margot Ruby *oss. Too close to Margot Robbie?
Mariel — Mariel Jordan *oss. Mariel Ruby *oss.
Maristella — means “star of the sea.” This name could lead to the nickname Maisie.
Ruby-Mae / RubyMae — Ruby-Mae Willa *oss. RubyMae Jordan *oss.
Best wishes to you!
Willa is a great choice! I don’t think they need to rule it out. The sister isn’t even pregnant with her next child, and if she does expand her family, there’s no guarantee that she will A) have a son, and B) name him William III, and C) call him Will or William.
And even if she did, I think it’s fine for first cousins to have similar names. They won’t be in each other’s daily lives, and I can imagine it being a cute thing for them to share. My dad has the same name as one of his first cousins (both named for their grandfather), and as far as I know it was never an issue, even while spending summers together growing up.
I also love Abby’s suggestion of Margot, and I think it could work very well with Alice or Ruby as a middle name.
I agree with commenter Kerri that first name Ruby with R-Boss as a last name evokes the celebrity Ruby Rose. I would steer clear of that combo if they are going for sweet and vintage-y. Ruby Rose’s public persona is very sexy and rebellious, and I think these parents aren’t going for that association.
Some other names that could be in the sweet spot:
Amelia
Aurelie
Beatrix
Elodie
Eloise
Natalie
Eloise sounds great!
To me Willa is the clear winner based on your description. You can’t control the future so embrace the now… Willa Boss…
Although Vera Boss is amazing. It is a pretty awesome combo. Histroy and strength all in one …. Veronica or just straight Vera get a strong vote from me!
Ruby and Willa make me think of Gemma, or maybe Nella
I don’t think Maisie has to go part and parcel with Margaret. Mabel, as was suggested earlier, Maren, Magnolia, Mary, Marigold, Maeve, Madeline, or maybe you have a family/honor name you could use that could be nicknamed Maisie (eg., Miller or McKinsey).
Moving Luna away from your name gets you to Oona.
Winnie could be a nice alternative to Willa. It could be a nickname for lots of different longer names (Winnifred, Winter, Gwendolyn, Winona), or it could stand alone.
Claire
Naomi
Gwen
Ingrid
I really like Vera and Eden with the last name here.
Aubrey Jordan Boss
I think you already have a great list and you don’t need any more ideas. Alice is great, and I don’t think Alice Boss is too hissy. Vera is gorgeous. I think my favorite is Willa, and I wouldn’t let the potential of a nephew named William rule it out (you don’t even know for sure if he’ll ever exist!)
I would avoid Tessa, and Ruby immediately makes me think of Ruby Rose, which is a very strong association.