Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed.
We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight!
Carrie writes:
I found your advice to think about your name before naming your baby, and it’s just what I needed to hear! It helped me and my husband come up with some ideas, but now we’re not sure how to go from our list of lots of maybes to just one name for our daughter.
We’d been hoping the name would just come to us, but she’s due in the beginning of February, so I think we need some help!
Here is our general wishlist:
- One pronunciation. I don’t like the way Carrie can sound like Kerry or carry or whatever.
- No nicknames and no names that are nicknames. I’m just Carrie. It’s not short for anything. I appreciate the simplicity, but why does no one ever believe me?!
- Nothing too common. My husband is Michael “Mike” with the middle initial J and a very common last name. He was one of two graduating his year from a big state university with the same first name, middle initial, and last name, and one of four with a very similar name. (It’s Edw@rds. Our daughter will have both of our last names, which will sounds like C@ne-Edw@rds, in part to help with this!)
- Probably the middle name Catherine/Katheryn because it’s in both of our families, but we are flexible if it doesn’t work out. Spelling is completely open, as we have multiple versions of the name on both sides!
We’ve both made a list of ten names, then each crossed out five. We didn’t have a single name that made both of our lists, but we all agree that these ten names are pretty close to what we want. A few attempts to rate and rank them have gotten us stuck. This is sort of in our order of preference, but not really.
- AMELIA – We both really like it, but it breaks a bunch of rules: it’s really popular, we know it has lots of nicknames, and there’s the whole Amelia/Emilia issue.
- NORA – Almost perfect, but maybe too popular.
- ANYA – Maybe too different/confusing?
- EDEN – I think this one is growing on me, but is it too trendy?
- HALLIE – Love, but I feel like it is a nickname.
- DAISY – Another name I love, but worry it seems like a nickname.
- GWEN – Satisfies the rules, but maybe we don’t love it?
- HADLEY – From my husband’s list. I think I could warm up to it, but he does have a co-worker with an older daughter named Hadley, and I feel a little weird about that.
- TESSA – My husband really likes. I feel like I change my mind about this one every day.
- KENNEDY – My husband’s favorite, and it is a family name on my side. But I feel like it sounds weird with our last name. (Probably because our last name is made up of two sort-of first names?)
Where do we go from here?
Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your new daughter!
The good news: you’ve done the hard work, and you know what you want, and what you prefer to avoid.
While I stand by my advice – talk about your experience with your own names first – it’s worth noting that rules are made to be broken.
So if you do fall hard for a name that has a flaw? That’s okay. You’re going in with your eyes open, and that will probably help navigate some potential issues. (Recognizing you might have to spell Amelia when you choose it is one thing; arriving for your daughter’s first day in child care to find her name misspelled on her cubby and that’s when you realize the issue? That’s a different level of frustration.)
Let’s rank your current list first, though I mostly agree with you.
CURRENT LIST
Consider with caution:
- Amelia – Because it’s very popular and has two very popular spellings.
- Gwen – Mostly because it sounds like a great compromise … but not a name you really love.
- Hallie – It stands on its own, but I think lots of people might ask what it’s short for.
- Kennedy – I get what you mean about the sound with your surname.
- Nora – A great compromise … except is it too popular? I hesitate …
Better bets:
- Anya – Familiar, but not too common. Anya Taylor-Joy means lots of people recognize the spelling/pronunciation. And this “A” sound isn’t as challenging as the A in Carrie.
- Eden – I think it’s every bit as good a compromise as Gwen, and maybe you’re more enthusiastic about it … or am I misreading that?
- Hadley – It sounds like your husband really likes surnames, plus Hadley is a little bit like Hallie, I think. But Hadley a) is clearly complete and mostly nickname-proof and b) sounds a little better with your last name. Maybe it’s syllable count?
- Daisy – A complete name that probably won’t invite that dreaded “what’s it short for?” question. (Though, yes, it’s traditionally associated with Margaret.) But it is a little on the sweet side. Still, a strong middle can balance that out.
- Tessa – I think Tessa is practically perfect. But Nora feels a little more serious, while Tessa strikes me as lighter. Is that an issue? I’m not sure …
FRESH IDEAS
CHLOE
Like Hallie and Daisy, Chloe has that pleasing two-syllable, ends-in-ee sound that goes well with your surname. But Chloe is clearly complete. It’s maybe a bit on the popular side, though you might also consider Daphne or Phoebe instead.
GEMMA
Another Nora/Tessa alternative that, I think, hits the right note.
ELIZA
While it’s hovering near the US Top 100 that’s not nearly as common as Amelia … and there’s no similar Amelia/Emilia issue.
MARGOT
Okay, some people do drop the T and spell it Margo. And a very small number spell it Margaux. But … Margot is the dominant spelling by a LOT right now, and I think it sounds great with your surname.
VERA
Another Nora alternative, one that feels familiar but uncommon.
VIVIAN
Amelia and Kennedy make me wonder if you’re really looking for a slightly longer name? Vivian can be Vivi and Viv, but it’s often just Vivian, in full. It’s vintage like Amelia, tailored like Kennedy.
Overall, my favorite from your list is probably Anya. It’s a little bit unexpected, but still traditional in style. It won’t be shortened and while it could be spelled Anja, most native English speakers will default to the Y.
From my list? I really like Margot, particularly with Katherine. But I wonder if Chloe might appeal to you more? It’s not uncommon, but I think the complete and easily spelled qualities outweigh those issues.
To me it sounds like you really want Amelia but don’t like that it breaks your rules. And Amelia Catherine is a GREAT name. And while I know you don’t want nicknames, her initials would be almost ACE which is all kinds of adorable if she becomes a sports star! If you love it, go on ahead and break your own rules.
I do like Nora and Tessa too. I think they are both sweet but capable names. I love Chloe as a way to get the ee ending without a nickname feel. With Catherine, it could lead to CC.
I was wondering about Laura. I know it isn’t trending (which may be a good thing for you). It is technically a last name like Hadley or Kennedy, it has the “a” ending like a couple of your other names, and the strong r of Nora. No spelling or pronunciation issues, not overly nicknamable. Laura Catherine C-E…
Ooh and the suggestion of Rose is awesome! Love it.
I second the suggestion of Laura – underused (IMO) in the current generation, and I think that Laura Catherine is a very classic combo!
With your rules, I like:
Stella
Ruby
Parker
Iris
And from you list, my favorites are Nora, Tessa and Eden.
Tessa or Hallie seem so perfect to me. Not too popular but familiar and they don’t sound too nicknamey at all. If I met a Tessa or Hallie it would never cross my mind to ask if it was short for anything; they stand perfectly fine on their own. Eden is really nice too!
Other ideas:
Sadie
Molly
Zoe
Delaney
Lilah
Ainsley
Lydia
Mara
Zara
Natalie
Violet
Everly
Daisy, definitely Daisy Catherine. I had a coworker a few years back that had a little Daisy and no one thought it was a nickname.
Naomi
Violet
Jewel
Dahlia
Personally love the idea of ”Carrie, Mike and Hallie”. I would root for “Vivian” as suggested too!
Other than these two, what immediately popped into my head were:
* ADELE – Hear me out. Sure, maybe everyone knows the singer but let that work for you in terms of ease-of-spelling. It’s uncommon yet familiar.
* LINDSAY – While it seems like this is a name of recent generations’ past, I think it works well with your future daughter’s combined last name.
* FIONA – Nickname-proof? Other than “Fi” this one is most often used as its full form, in my experience. This is also easy-to-spell.
For me, the issue with Amelia would be: is it pronounced with three syllables or four? I prefer the “eh” sound of Emilia to the “uh” of Amelia, but pronunciation can be all over the board.
From your list I really like Eden, Hadley, and Tessa.
You might like one of these “mini” standalone names:
Amy
Ava
Cora
Dana
Ivy
Lily — Lilly is less popular than Lily.
Mia
Nina
Sarah
Thea
Zara
Best wishes to you!
What about Rose? She sounds lovely with your last names, is only one spelling, instantly recognizable, and isn’t too common as a first name. Mike, Carrie, and Rose … Nice!
Daisy is currently more popular than Margaret as a given name. I don’t think Daisy would be mistaken as short for Margaret to nearly the same degree that Carrie is mistaken as short for Caroline/Carolyn.
Hallie also doesn’t strike me as an obvious short form of another name. I know multiple Hallies and they are all just Hallie. I actually had to rack my brain to even think of what it might be short for.
Also, I think it’s important to consider just how much your various rules matter. It sounds like the “Carrie isn’t short for anything” was super annoying and something you absolutely don’t want to repeat, but is popularity as much of a deal breaker? Maybe Amelia is *the name* after all, and all the reasons you love it outweigh the reasons that give you pause.
Based on the names you like, I might add these suggestions:
Celia
Delia
Lydia
Ada
Louisa
Sheridan
Tierney
Flannery
Finley
Oona/Una
Linnea
Lyra
Marina
I’m loving Tessa.
I can imagine Carrie, Mike and Tessa.
I do know a Tessa who his by Tess. But perhaps it’s not a deal breaker?
Most names have the potential to be twisted into some unique spelling.
Similar to Amelia but less common and no spelling issues is Sabrina or Tabitha. Both don’t have common nicknames either.