Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed.
We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight!
Heather writes:
My husband and I are expecting our first baby this summer. We just found out it’s a girl. I’m excited about almost everything, except that choosing a name feels so hard, because our last name is Smith.
My maiden name was almost as common. And my husband’s first name is Mike. There are, literally, thousands of Mike Smiths, and nearly as many Heather Smiths, and probably hundreds of Mike and Heather Smiths. He works for a huge company, and there’s more than one Michael Smith there. (Though not in his actual office.)
I don’t really like different names, and I’m not a big fan of nicknames. (Other than obvious ones, like Mike for Michael.) But if we use the names I like best – Olivia, Eliza, or Amelia – she’s going to be one in a crowd.
Any advice?
Please read on for my response, and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
Dear Heather –
Congratulations on your new daughter!
We often hear from families worried their surname is so complicated that they’re limited in their first name choices. It’s good to remember that the opposite can also be true. There must be dozens of girls born every year with a name like Emma Rose Smith or Ella Grace Smith. (Incidentally, the site How Many of Me? estimates there are around 4,800 Heather Smiths in the US. That’s a big number!)
But you do have some good options:
- Choose an uncommon first. That doesn’t mean it has to be wildly different! Plenty of names outside of the Top 100, 500, and even 1,000 feel surprisingly mainstream. Uncommon doesn’t have to equal weird.
- Choose a popular first, but add a surprising middle. Plenty of girls answer to Amelia Rose Smith. But how about Amelia Primrose Smith? Amelia Amaryllis Smith? Choose a stand-out middle and it makes up for a more common first-last combination.
- Combine both strategies. An uncommon first and a surprising middle together can offset the most popular of surnames.
The question is which path feels most satisfying. Since the names you love tend towards the more popular, I’m tempted to suggest the second – some truly bold middles. (Think Amelia Primrose. Olivia Seraphina. Eliza Delphine.)
Except, I wonder if that leaves you with a first-last name combination that might frustrate. So let’s see if we can find an uncommon first that isn’t really all that unusual.
Cordelia – Literary and lovely, Cordelia was the name Anne of Green Gables wanted for her own. With years of history, everyone recognizes Cordelia. And yet, the name teeters on the edge of the Top 1000, meaning it will seldom be shared. It’s as long and lovely as Olivia and Amelia, and if you planned to use those without nicknames, then Cordelia could wear every bit as well.
Helena – The downside to Helena: I can count at least three possible pronunciations. The upside? It’s an uncommon name that feels instantly recognizable. Tailored Helen sidesteps the pronunciation issue, but since that name has previously appeared near the top of the popularity charts, perhaps it’s too common? (Though the name peaked about a century ago.) In any case, Helena has the same feminine, but traditional, appeal as the other names on your list.
Larissa – Larissa peaked in use in the 1990s, the heir to Melissa, Alyssa, and Marissa. Except it never really caught on in big numbers, plateauing in the mid-300s. That means it feels just different enough today, while still being broadly recognized as a girls’ given name. It’s as feminine and flowing as your current favorites.
Marielle – Or Mariel, though American parents favor Arielle, Juliette, and Annabelle these days, which could make Marielle the default spelling. Strictly speaking, Marielle is a form of Marie. But I suspect most parents will just hear it as pretty and surprising.
Matilda – There’s something quirky and cool about Matilda, and it’s rising in use – but it’s still far from common.
Tabitha – We all recognize Biblical Tabitha as a girls’ given name, but it’s not even in the current Top 1000.
Now, having said all that, I do want to point out something about your three favorite names. Olivia is a long-time Top Ten. Amelia sits near the top of the charts, too, with sound-alike Emilia also in the Top 100. But Eliza? Eliza does not make the current Top 100. I’d agree that Eliza Smith is a fairly common combination. But a name like Eliza Marielle Smith might stay just on the right side of too familiar.
Or maybe there’s some great family name that might work in the middle? I know someone with a very common first-last combination, and a wildly unusual family surname that she tends to use most of the time. (I suspect because it’s the only way she stands out from others who share her name, though I’ve never asked.)
So while I’d love to hear more ideas for familiar-but-seldom-heard girls’ names to substitute for Olivia, Amelia, and Eliza, I’m also thinking that Eliza might be exactly the right choice, especially with a bolder, less expected middle.
Readers, what would you suggest to Heather and her husband? Do you have any thoughts on working with a common surname?
I have a name that I just discovered was in the 400s on the social security database the year I was born and I was honestly surprised because I have never met someone a similar age to me with the same name, let alone with the same first name-last name combo (I also had a VERY common last name). And while it took me awhile to come around to my first name, I do know that I never even thought about how common my last name was, probably thanks to my uncommon—but not unusual—first.
I vote for Eliza. I don’t know any Eliza’s, babies or adults, and it’s a perfectly lovely name and you like it. Honestly I think any name outside of the top 50 I would feel comfortable using knowing that it really isn’t that many babies with the same name. I also like Sienna (and Sabrina!), Hazel, Ruby and Rosalie, Vivian, Violet. I would personally use Olivia or Amelia in the middle.
Ruby Amelia
Hazel Olivia
Although if you love Olivia and Amelia, and your desire for a more unique name doesn’t outweigh the love of the names, then of course they’re beautiful names and you can use either one in the first spot and be confident you chose a great name.
I also think Matilda is definitely a sweet spot name and is a great suggestion. It’s on my sad-I-can’t-use list.
I agree that Eliza seems like the best choice, although I have to suggest Lara. It feels more fresh than Larissa and actually feels like a sister name for Eliza/Olivia/Amelia.
My brother’s name is Caleb Smith and I didn’t think Caleb was that popular, but I know 3 other Caleb Smith’s…
Agree with other comments that Aurelia would be lovely.
Other vowel names ending in -a/-ia:
Ariana
Amata
Anthea
Aurora
Eliora
Evelina
Idina
Isadora
Isolda
Oriana
Orla
Una
From your list, def like Eliza best. I would pair with a family middle name or one with some sort of special significance vs just choosing one that’s uncommon.
Others that I like for you:
Daphne
Margot
Phoebe
Lydia
Susannah
Annabel
Colette
Elodie
Maisie
Greta
Georgia
Juliet
Ainsley
Zinnia
Carina
Lucinda
Whitney
Cressida
Sylvie
Leighton
Merritt
Arabella
Jocelyn
Such wonderful suggestions here!
I love Eliza – it’s a gorgeous name. Spunky and classic. It stands out and is familiar.
I also like Cecily, Cecelia, Tessa, Lola, and Amara. Cecily Smith sounds like a literary character.
Odessa familiar, but doesn’t rank, as far as I can see. I think Odessa Smith is lovely.
I really like the idea of an unusual middle name. Have you thought about a double middle combo as that will make it less likely that you will have other exact namesakes of the same age. You say that your maiden surname is very common but what about your mother’s maiden name?
Olivia Grace Smith would probably be common but Olivia Rose Browning Smith isn’t! (or whatever surname you choose)
If you don’t feel confident about double middles have a look at the birth announcements on British Baby Names Blog (thanks to Abby for introducing me to that one via the Sunday Summary) the Brits do double middles really well.
I wouldn’t choose a name you don’t like just because it is less ‘common’. In fact I deliberately gave my kids names that fit in with their classmates with heaps of google hits. It isn’t the end of the world to be less visible. If they want a stage name later in life they can pick one for themselves.
I have a last name nearly as common as Smith and have found that there are some advantages to anonymity. I don’t necessarily want to stick out from the online crowds. It is occasionally inconvenient, as in the time a woman with my first, middle, and last name neglected to pay her bills and was wanted by the police for petty crimes and I had to clear up my identity, but a birth date and address and additional identifiers usually works. I would avoid the temptation of being outrageously unusual with the first name. It might be a momentary nuisance to be one of half a dozen Emma Rose Smiths in her immediate vicinity but she won’t want to be Calamity Smith or Grizabella Smith, etc. Better to be Emma Rose Smith No. 4 than the latter. Pick a name you like and don’t worry too much about how popular it is.
I agree with aiming for a name that goes with the style names you’re already leaning towards, but is far less common-
Susannah- this name is surprisingly really rare but is classic and has easy nickname Suzy
Serafina- nickname Sera
Francesca
Eleonora
Gloria
Michelle or Michella for hubby Micheal
If these are too out there for you then I say go with Eliza (possibly with a bold middle) bc it’s the least common of the names you already like… 🙂
Congrats on your daughter!!!
I immediately thought Aurelia. I know a really sweet baby called Aurelia, and it has the same cadence as Amelia… but is much less common!
Less common takes on the names you love: Olive, Amy, Elise. (I know Amy is “common” but will probably be quite rare for her generation. Like Mary!