If you’re expecting a baby in 2026, or hoping to grow your family soon, may I suggest some baby name resolutions?
They’re not rules. It’s not even a list. But they are different ways of thinking about the decision-making process. Whether you’re just getting started or closing in on your due date without a favorite in mind, consider these resolutions.
TALK ABOUT THIS FIRST
One of my favorite pieces of advice: talk with your partner about your own name. Do you like it? Did you always? How does your partner feel? Was that antique family middle name burdensome as a child? Did they dislike having to spell and pronounce their name? Or was it frustrating to be one in a crowd?
You might not be a linguist, but you are an expert in having a name – your name. Those experiences and perspectives will inevitably color the choices you make for your children. Name them, examine them, and consider those preferences when you make a list of qualities you’d prefer in your child’s name.
YOUR FIRST NAME LIST CONTAINS ZERO NAMES
We tend to begin our name search by throwing out name ideas.
Maeve?
Too short.
Margaret?
Too serious.
Maren?
Like the singer?
It’s the obvious way to begin. But it often falls short. Why?
- Often one partner is the suggester. The other partner – and yes, it’s often the dad – ends up dreaming up reasons to reject those suggestions. It’s bound to feel uncomfortable.
- It’s disconnected from our values. Rejecting a suggestion is easy. It’s even thrilling. But we’re not looking for a thumbs up/thumbs down reaction. We’re after evaluation.
Evaluating potential names against our criteria requires developing a set of criteria. This should follow naturally from the first conversation – and that should be the first list you make.
Maybe you both agree that you’d like a name that’s reasonably familiar, easy to spell and pronounce, and that honors your partner’s Irish heritage.
Against those criteria, Maeve deserves a second look.
Which leads to the next of the Baby Name Resolutions.
SIT WITH A NAME
To repeat the obvious: it is very easy to reject a name.
But often our goal is to find a name that’s right for our child’s generation. Something that isn’t wildly popular.
Chances are these names won’t be all that familiar. You might know that Olivia and Sophia and Isabella are pretty popular right now. But other Top 100 names can take us by surprise. Unless we work with small children, even a fairly popular name like Leilani or Nova can seem kind of out-there.
So here’s the challenge: if your partner suggests a name, sit with it.
For two reasons:
- Even if we consider ourselves fairly open-minded, it’s easy to reject new ideas.
- More importantly? If our partner likes the name enough to suggest it, we ought to open to considering what they like – and curious to understand why.
If you’ve developed that list of criteria, it’s easy to have this conversation. “I like the name Arthur because it’s traditional, but not too popular.”
Give it a week or even a day, and you might warm up to Arthur. At least enough to keep it on your long list – even if it’s not ultimately the name you choose.
CHOOSE THE RELATIONSHIP
This is probably the hardest of the baby name resolutions.
A quick glance at Reddit will tell you that people get very upset about names. Which I completely get. They’re important!
And yet … if you are presented with a decision between a name and a relationship, I urge you consider choosing the relationship.
What does that look like?
- You love the name Liam. And then your sister-in-law shares that Liam is their top boy’s name, too. They’re struggling with infertility, and acknowledge that they might not ever have children of their own. But the name Liam is special to them.
- You tell your closest friend that you’re naming your daughter Aurora and she flinches. Why? They experienced pregnancy loss and that was their intended name.
- Eleanor checks every box for you, but it’s the name of your brother’s deeply problematic ex-girlfriend. Which somehow you’d forgotten, but it’s the reason your mom grimaces when you mention the name.
- You’re being pressured to hand down the family name John. Even your partner feels like it’s a mistake to break this tradition, but you just can’t warm to the name.
If your relationships are healthy and supportive – and yes, that’s a big if – then it might be worth sacrificing a name you like for a person you love.
To be clear, this doesn’t mean that people in your life have veto power. It doesn’t mean that you need to pre-clear every name you’re considering. You are free to choose differently, even if it means breaking a long-standing family tradition or upsetting a sibling.
But it does mean that if your name choice would hurt someone you truly care about? Then that should absolutely factor into your decision process.
THINK BROADLY ABOUT POPULARITY
I think there are good and valid reasons to given our children Top Ten, even #1 names. And I know lots of families who have chosen a name like Mia, fretting it would be too common – only to report their daughter never shared a name with a classmate. Conversely, even really unusual names can repeat. My kids’ tiny PK-8 school once had two girls named London in the same grade. At the same time my son’s class included a boy Micah and a girl Micah. It just happens.
But if avoiding a popular name is a priority, it’s not enough to look at the numbers. Consider other factors, such as:
- Does it sound like another popular name? On paper, Leila is pretty uncommon. But Layla, Lyla, and Lily called and they have some bad news.
- Is it used for boys and girls? A name that ranks in the girls’ Top 300 might be reasonably uncommon. But if that name is Rowan, and it also charts in the boys’ Top 100? That’s going to make it more common than the first number suggests.
If popularity is a factor, these tips might also help.
BUILD IN SOME BALANCE
There’s no scale to weigh and measure our children’s names. But it’s worth considering the sum total of a first, middle, and last combination.
It might look like this:
- If your child’s first is really different? Consider a classic middle. Evening Elizabeth is a stronger choice than Evening Starshine.
- Pair a gender-neutral first with a clearly gendered middle. Rowan Avery is great, but perhaps Rowan Isabelle or Rowan Everett would prove more balanced.
- If your last name is really challenging, consider a more obvious first. It doesn’t have to be common or popular or even all that short. Ivy Szymanski is great, but Rosalind Szymanski can work, too. Something like Braelynn Szymanski seems harder, because both first and last will almost certainly require some spelling and repetition.
It’s a fuzzy guideline, but think of like this: choosing names can be like turning a dial. If your first name is a quiet classic, increasing the volume on your child’s middle name might make sense. If your last name is noisy, choosing a smoother first can help.
DON’T ASSUME THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY TO CHOOSE A LAST NAME
Maybe this is the last thing new parents need to hear, but choosing names doesn’t necessarily mean just a first and middle. There are no actual rules around choosing our children’s surnames – at least not in the US.
I mention this for two reasons: first, because it’s a fact that might feel freeing. But secondly, because more and more parents have decided to put the mother’s surname in place as a shared middle name for all of their kids … only to realize that it puts so much pressure on their first name choice.
Maybe that’s the right decision. It comes from a place of wanting to acknowledge both parents and both families. It might be the best way to do it … or not. But it suggests that there’s a bigger conversation to be had for many families, and lots of ways to think about our children’s last names.
NARROW UP
This phrase comes from Swistle, who hasn’t updated for a while. But it’s just so smart! Narrowing down our favorite names invites us to find fault. Using this approach leaves us with a name that has the fewest problems. And that’s not necessarily our goal.
Instead, narrow up. Find things that you like about the names on your list. What makes Elowyn just a bit more appealing than Aura? Does Amara sound particularly appealing in that other language your family speaks? Does Felix’s joyful meaning make your heart sing?
When we narrow up, we choose the name that generates the most good feeling – and that’s the energy we want for our child.
PLAN FOR THE FUTURE
If you plan to only ever call your child Rosie, of course you can name her Rosie! Skipping the formal name is completely, absolutely fine.
And yet … it’s worth considering. Might your baby Danny grow up and wish to be Daniel on his resume? Would Sadie Lou be happier if her middle name were Sadie Louise – still sparky, but maybe half-a-degree less cutesy?
Imagine your child growing up to be your opposite. Because yes, accountants do raise artists, and athletes raise kids with two left feet. It’s a bit mind-blowing, but it’s always worth picturing your baby-to-be as a future adult. Do you like the name as much on an paramedic as you do on a pint-sized soccer player?
ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR LIMITS
While imagining our children’s possible futures is a useful exercise, ultimately? The best baby name resolutions require us to acknowledge that the future is unknowable.
We name strangers.
If you’ve put love and consideration into choosing your child’s name – and if you’re read this far, I promise you’ve done just that! – then you’ve already given your child your best.
The rest comes with time – and while it feels overwhelming, it is absolutely something you can figure out with love and compassion.
Oh I love this advice so much!
Sounds just like how we approach naming around here. Thank you!
Thank you!!