Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.
OUR LAST NAME IS A FIRST NAME
Kyra writes:
I know we’re not the only ones with this problem, but I’m feeling very stuck. We are expecting our first child, a boy, this summer. Our last name is a common first name: Ch@rles.
Any first name we choose sounds wrong. Either like it’s supposed to be our son’s last name, like Ch@arles Knox instead of Knox Ch@rles.
Or it sounds like we’re just saying his first and middle name, like it’s Ezra Ch@rles What?
Our current favorites are:
- Bennett
- Camden/Cameron – I like Cameron, my husband prefers Camden, but we both like Cam
- Easton
- Ezra
- Knox
- Owen
- Riley
- Theo
We’ve already ruled out a few names, like Chase and Parker, because they don’t sound good with our last name. In terms of a middle name, we really don’t have any definite ideas, but we have talked about Michael (my husband is Mike) and Grady (a family surname from my mom’s side).
I just can’t get past the question, though. How do you choose a first name when your last name is already one?
Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
MAKING GOOD CHOICES AND FINDING A NAME YOU LOVE
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your new son!
My first reaction? This is mostly a problem for boys.
If I see a name like Emily Richard or Julia Scott – or your name! – it’s immediately obvious which name is which. But when your last name is a first name and they seem interchangeable?
Yes, I can see that it’s not ideal.
I think there are a few things you can do to make this easier:
First, avoid choosing a common surname as a first name. Jack Ch@rles is unclear. But Jackson Ch@rles? It definitely feels like your kid’s name could be Ch@rles Jackson. Even after I know your son is called Jackson, I think this might trip me up.
Second, accept that you’ll have to introduce your son carefully. At places like the pediatrician, I can imagine saying, “Our last name is Ch@rles. His name is Cameron.” Or maybe even “First name Cameron, last name Charles.”
RANKING YOUR LIST
Given these considerations, I think I’d immediately drop Bennett, Easton, and Riley.
I’m a little divided over Knox and Camden, but I’m going to put them aside, too.
And while I know Cameron is often a surname, I feel like it’s been a given name for so long, I want to keep it in the mix.
That leaves Cameron, Ezra, Owen and Theo.
FOURTH PLACE: CAMERON
I really like Cam Ch@rles, and I do think three-syllable Cameron works well with a short surname. But I’m putting it in last place because, just like Bennett or Riley, it’s easier for me to mix the two up.
THIRD PLACE: OWEN
I think the best approach is to choose a strong, familiar first name. Owen checks that box, and I love the way it sounds with Ch@rles. But probably because so many surnames are two-syllables, ending with N, I can imagine reversing the names in this case, too.
SECOND PLACE: EZRA
Ezra, on the other hand, is clearly a given name. And a great choice, too! I’m not wild about the way Ezra’s Z sounds with the S of your surname. It’s not a deal breaker – and a little bit of repetition is a good thing – but it does put Ezra in second place for me.
FIRST PLACE: THEO
My top choice: Theo! That bright O ending makes it clear that this is your child’s first name, and it’s distinct from your last name.
Overall, I’m most drawn to Theo Grady Ch@rles. I appreciate that Grady comes from your side, and I like the rhythm and flow of the full name. Though Michael works nicely, too. In fact, I’d probably use Michael with Ezra. So if not Theo Grady, then Ezra Michael would get my vote.
We have a similar issue- but our last name is a commonly-female first name (Alli@#n). Our boys are Noah and Jack and their first names are never confused with our last, but our daughter Fiona is constantly being mis-called Alli@#n. (For that matter, so am I!)
We have a common boys name as a last name. Unfortunately, it’s becoming common for girls too. I’ve found that the type of name (surname, formal, common) does not matter. All of my kids and myself get called by our last name. My first name is unusual so I think for me it’s just because the last name is easier to pronounce.
Just pick a name you love! You’ll be using it a lot correcting people!
I agree that choosing a name that sounds like a surname may be misinterpreted.
Bennett Charles may be misinterpreted as
Bennett, Charles.
I agree that Theo Charles is less likely to be heard as Theo, Charles.
Choosing a name that is clearly first name and unusual as a surname helps balance that.
However….
I guess the thing to consider is how often are people actually called by their whole name in a situation where people don’t know them?
Not that often in thinking.
At school everyone knows the name combination, the Dr would already know your last name, in a new situation most people would only need to hear it once and be corrected if required to know which is his first name.
If you just love the sounds of a surname style name then perhaps the frequency of possible misrepresentation means that it’s not worth losing a name you love?
With the option of Theo, it makes me think of the actor Theo James- and actually, James IS one of his middle names (just looked it up) that he uses as his surname professionally! Many actors do this and it’s actually seen as more usable than an uncommon or tricky last name! I think you should pick the name you like best and can agree on. The advice to avoid a surname name is solid, I think.
My brothers and I have a last name that is a first name as well. One of my brothers has a first name that can also be a surname and the other has a first name that is never really heard of as a last name. The former brother does have to occasionally point out which name is which but it’s an easy fix. The latter brother experiences less confusion. If you think having to correct others on which name is which will be tiresome or annoying then I would take Abby’s advice and pick a name that is less often heard of as a last name. If you don’t mind the occasional correction then I say go for whichever name you love most.
Some suggestions:
Zeke – short like Cam, a zippy Z like Ezra. Zeke Michael
Max – similar to Knox but obviously a first name. Max Michael
Malcolm “Mac” – similar vibe to Cameron “Cam” but more commonly used as a first name. Malcolm Grady Charles is really handsome!
Zachary “Zack”, Nathaniel “Nate”, or Jonathan “Jon” – similar reasons as Malcolm. Zachary Michael, Nathaniel Grady, Jonathan Grady. Jonathan Michael.
Emmett- less surnamey than Bennett? Emmett Michael. Emmett Grady.
Jonah – similar to Ezra. Jonah Michael. Jonah Grady.
I like the idea of a more informal first name, it makes it obvious that Charles is the last name.
So my favorite is Theo Charles (although I love the name Bennett).
Or:
Harry Charles
Nico Charles
Zeke Charles
Finn Charles
Zach Charles
I don’t actually think the last name is anything to take into account. It is both a classic first name and a fairly common last name that people will have encountered before. Just pick a first name you like.
I really like Abby’s suggestion of Theo. I think it works really well!
Best wishes!