Update: She’s here! Krista writes, “Thanks for all the encouragement. We stuck with our favorite name, Briar Adeline. Despite all of the criticism before she was born, no one has said a word since she was born, and I love how it reminds me of my grandmother. We’re so glad we didn’t get talked out it!”
Krista writes:
We’re expecting our daughter in a few weeks, and we think we’ve chosen a name. But when we started telling other people, we got some negative reactions. Should we go back to our list, or just go with the name we like?
I’ve been saying that we wanted to name a daughter after my grandmother since we first got married. My gran passed away unexpectedly while we were engaged. We were very close, and I still miss her all the time.
Her name was Rose, and her married last name was Bryer. I always liked the fairy-tale sound of Rose Bryer, like Briar Rose in Sleeping Beauty. She didn’t have a middle name at birth, but she used Adelaide, her confirmation name, and I know she really liked it.
The name we’ve chosen is Briar Adeline, a different spelling of her last name and a form of the middle name she chose for herself. We don’t want to use Adelaide, because our last name sounds like Hailey-with-a-P, and so the D/P sounds run together too much.
We think it’s perfect, but maybe I was a little worried my husband’s family would feel slighted. (We do plan to name a future son after his dad, so it’s not like it’s all about me.)
Instead, they both hate it.
His family’s objections: Briar is a boy’s name/Briar isn’t pretty. My family: if you’re naming her after Gran, you have to name her Rose.
Seriously? I know maybe we should just shrug it off, but it’s bothering me. And now I’m second-guessing our choice. What do we do?
Please read on for my response, and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
Dear Krista –
Congratulations on your new daughter!
Families are so very wonderful, and we need them more than ever once we welcome children of our own. And yet, often they seem determined to derail our naming decisions, don’t they?
Let’s back up.
Your grandmother’s name – as she used it – was Rose Adelaide Bryer. I’d agree that Briar Adeline Hailey-with-a-P isn’t an exact honor name. But I’d also argue that a little bit of healthy reinvention is smart. It honors your grandmother’s memory while also giving your daughter an identity of her own.
There’s also a style gap between Briar and Rose. Briar is modern, new to the US Top 1000, and still relatively unexpected. Rose is timeless, and also familiar. I’m guessing you might like names like Haven, instead of something more like Eleanor? So if Briar honors your grandmother and is true to your style, then that’s a win.
Now let’s talk about the whole boy name angle.
It’s easy to argue that Briar feels masculine, especially since it comes from surname Bryer. (Though, for what it’s worth, it typically comes from the nature name.) We tend to sometimes reserve those family surnames for a son. And names like Brian and Bryce are solidly masculine.
But you mentioned a strong argument against the masculine imagine – Disney princess Aurora, also known as Sleeping Beauty, also known as Briar Rose.
And so it’s not surprising that Briar ranks in the US Top 1000 for boys and girls. In fact, 243 boys were named Briar in 2017 … and 397 girls. It’s a little bit unisex. And with names like Rowan and River rising for girls and boys alike, I can imagine that you may very well meet boys named Briar, too.
But is Briar a boys’ name? Not by any stretch. It trends unisex.
My sense is that you’ve found your daughter’s name, and it’s just a matter of smiling and singing la-la-la should your loved ones object.
But let’s have a poll because maybe I’m missing something.
What advice would you give Krista and her husband about their daughter’s name?
I love Briar Adeline. It’s pretty, thoughtfully chosen and shows love for your grandmother, and takes away some of the pressure that comes with being given someone else’s exact name. I hope you use it, and consider not sharing the name ahead of time if you have another child so no one makes you rethink something so beautiful.
You have a beautiful story to tell your little girl about her name. You loved and cherished your grandmother, you love and cherish your daughter. What a marvelous, precious gift your grandmother gave you and that you are now able to give to your child.
I suppose if you break Briar down, it does have a similar sound to Brian, which might be tripping up your in-laws – but to me it’s a super, super feminine choice! My first thought is definitely Sleeping Beauty. It’s still definitely an honour name to me – what’s really important is whether it makes you feel connected to your grandmother when you say your daughter’s name. Basically what I’m saying is block out the parents, you’ve made a great choice 🙂
I love Briar, and don’t think it’s a “boy’s name” at all. It’s a lovely, special honor name, and if it’s going to make you think of your beloved Gran every time you write or say your daughter’s name, I think that’s wonderful. Don’t let other people’s opinions sway you from a name that both you and your husband agree is perfect!
Makes me think of Briallen, which means “primrose.” Could probably even be shortened to Briar. It’s a little bit more feminine because of that ‘bree ‘ sound (not that Briar isn’t feminine because I definitely think it is) and would honor Rose kind of directly while maintaining individuality. Otherwise Briar is a stunning, strong name I see no reason not to use. That’s why I was excited to read that someone was considering this name. Congratulations!!
I love it. Stick to your guns!
The name you chose is perfect. Don’t let family opinions get in the way. Who are they to tell you how to name your child?? Ugh. That’s why we didn’t tell our fam our name choice til after baby was born. Didn’t want drama and second-guessing. Briar Adeline is gorgeous
My grandmother absolutely hated the name my aunt had chosen for her youngest. So much so, in fact, that she used the baby’s middle name when referring to her. My aunt was annoyed by that, but she stuck with her choice because it was the perfect name for her daughter. Eventually, once little girl was born and my grandmother saw her wear the name, she came around and accepted it, even liked it.
All that to say, I think you should stick with your choice. Briar Adeline is lovely and meaningful. I am sure both of your families will grow to love it in time.
Briar is lovely and once it’s associated with a sweet little bundle of baby, I think the grandparents will soften a bit. Would you be ok with them nicknaming her Rose or Rosie as a pet name? I think it could be a logical nickname in the way that some Margarets go by Daisy. It could be a compromise, if you don’t hate the idea.
Congrats on your baby girl and best of luck!
Briar Adeline is gorgeous! and I 100% think you should use it.