Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M SAYING MY DAUGHTER’S NAME WRONG?
Zoe writes:
Help! I’m suffering from either name regret or maybe I need to be told I made a mistake. Or maybe I need to let this go? (My husband is in the let-it-go camp, but I’m not feeling much like Elsa.)
We agonized over what to name our beautiful, three-week old daughter before finally settling on Elin. Yes, I got it from the author Elin Hildebrand. (I’m a voracious reader.) No, I’ve never known anyone named Elin. And yes, we’re pronouncing it like Ellen.
That’s the problem. Several people in our family are insisting on pronouncing it EE-lin. Like Elon, almost, and I cannot stand it. We’ve corrected them, but they (to varying degrees) insist that “everyone” knows it’s pronounced EE-lin and we should either change the spelling or accept that it’s going to be a problem.
Also, and maybe this is irrational, but I don’t like the name Ellen. I don’t like the way it looks. It seems old-fashioned compared to Elin.
So I could use some outside opinions. Is Elin pronounced like Eden (and Elon) and is this my mistake? Will this be a problem forever? Will my daughter hate her name? Should I change something?
Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
NO ONE CAN TELL YOU HOW TO PRONOUNCE A NAME
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your new daughter! I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
The easy part: absolutely no one can tell you how to pronounce your name, or your child’s name.
Within reason, of course. “This is our son Alex, we pronounce it Bruce,” is a non-starter.
But assuming you’re sticking to sounds commonly associated with letters as we use them in English? Yeah, you’re in the clear, even if your preferred pronunciation isn’t obvious to everyone.
Phonetically speaking, my brain reads Elin as Ellen. And Lin as Lynn/Lynne, for that matter.
Here are the competing forces, as I see them:
- Elinor is an another spelling for Eleanor, which reinforces the Ellen pronunciation.
- I first heard Elin said aloud years ago, when golfer Tiger Woods married Swedish-born model Elin Nordegren. She says her name the way your family suggests: EE-lin.
- Author Elin Hildebrand is another well-known bearer of the name. I’d never heard it pronounced, though. After some digging, I found that the author herself confirmed the pronunciation back in 2016: Here’s how you pronounce my first name: ELLEN. If you … call after me, “EE-Lin” I won’t turn around because I won’t realize you’re talking to me. Complaints can go to my mother, Sally.
So all of this makes me think a) probably most of us will default to Elin-pronounced-Ellen, except b) golf fans might be the exception, as they’ll (maybe) have heard of Elin Nordegren.
And, of course, should your daughter someday study abroad in Stockholm? Forget it. She’ll be EE-lin. But plenty of us arrive overseas to find that our names are altered, so she’s not alone in that.
The hard part: yes, some people will pronounce your daughter’s name like they’re the next CEO of Ikea.
In fact, I can imagine someone – like me, even – thrilling to think we’ve cracked the code. We know how to say this unusual name correctly! Won’t the parents be DELIGHTED?
But we’re in the minority. Really.
My question to you is this: do you mind strangers getting it wrong? Plenty of us have to explain our child’s name. “We call him Xander for short.” Or “it’s Lucie, spelled with an IE.” Or “no, we’ve never seen Game of Thrones, we just liked the name Aria.”
I do think you’re in for a certain amount of “Her name is Elin, spelled E-L-I-N.” I’m not sure that’s burdensome, particularly in our age of Madelyn/Madeline, Jackson/Jaxon, Sophia/Sofia.
And … Zoe/Zoey. Has it bothered you when someone has added a Y to your name? Or have you shrugged it off? Your feelings about your own name serve as a good guide.
I’m guessing you’ll feel like all of this is just fine.
That leaves the issue of your family. And families? Are loving and wonderful and challenging and crazy difficult.
My best advice is cases like this is to choose and repeat a set, firm line. You don’t even have to explain. Something like “Most people don’t seem to have a problem with it, and we’re not going to change her name.” Or “Thanks, but we’re sticking with the Ellen pronunciation.” Whatever works for you. The trick is to keep it short, simple, and definite.
Are they basing their pronunciation on the American media’s pronunciation of Elin Nordegren’s first name? I listened to it in Swedish and to my ear that first syllable doesn’t sound very much like EE-rhymes-with-tree. It sounds more like a combination of AY and EH https://forvo.com/word/elin_nordegren/
In case we think Ms. Nordegren prefers an unusual pronunciation (or is okay with it being altered in an English speaking context), we can also listen to pronunciations that are not specific to her. Here are native Scandi folks saying Elin: https://forvo.com/word/elin/
I’d argue that this Scandi pronunciation is closer to Ellen (with a slightly elongated first syllable) than it is to Eelin.
To American ears, the recording of the vowels sounds like AY-ee-len, with the second syllable shorter than the first. I don’t think most Americans would ever say it exactly like that, but the pronunciations they’d get will probably range from EE-lyn to el-LEEN to AY-leen to the preferred Ellen. Listen to the way different broadcasters pronounced the name of the storm Helene last week. Americans said hel-LEEN and the BBC used hell-ENN. Names in the Helen/Ellen family have multiple pronunciations in various languages. For what it’s worth, Elin does seem to be in the same family as those others, so Ellen is an appropriate English pronunciation. It’s just that a lot of people will spell or pronounce it different ways,
Elin pronounced Ellen is perfectly acceptable and lovely. Congratulations.
I was with my mom and boyfriend while reading this, so I polled the group!
I initially read Elin as “Ellen”, then had a doubt and thought maybe it was “ay-LEEN”. I had a student from a French-speaking family named Eline, so I thought perhaps Elin might be the same pronunciation.
My boyfriend initially said “Ellen”, then said, “Or is it EE-lin?”
My mom (who’s American but grew up in a Hungarian-speaking household) assumed it was “ay-LEEN”.
None of us had ever heard of the Scandinavian origins.
So, I’d say your family is incorrect in arguing that there’s only one obvious answer. But you’ll also need to explain your preferred pronunciation going forward.
For what it’s worth, one of my middle names is Ellen (in honor of my aunt), and I absolutely love it. To me, it’s classic and elegant.
But if it’s not your taste, I think you should embrace your choice of Elin. Come up with a quick, go-to explanation, and say it with confidence. It’s a beautiful name!
Out of curiosity, I asked my mother how she would pronounce a name spelled this way and she said “Ellen, or is it supposed to be EE-lynn? That’s the problem with those names that are spelled differently.” So, I think the take away here is that a lot of people are going to find this name confusing and will have trouble spelling it. If you like it enough the way it is, it might be worth learning to spell it a lot or correct the pronunciation.
I have a name with multiple pronunciations, several of which I dislike. I am ANN-dree-uh. I do end up correcting people sometimes who call me ON-dree-uh or on-DRAY-uh. Sometimes they don’t seem to like being corrected because it’s easier for them to pronounce it the way the last Andrea they knew pronounced it. It’s a relatively minor annoyance, but it is an annoyance. You and Elin’s dad are the ones who know how big a deal this sort of thing will be to you.
Wow. This really seems to be a regional thing. I’m on the east coast of the US and I don’t think Ellen spelled Elin is an issue at all. But if you live in an area, like the upper midwest, or another area with a large Scandinavian or Scandi immigrant population, it could be more of a hassle. So perhaps where you live will play into your decision.
But I really like Elin and automatically pronounce it Ellen. I think it’s a pretty spelling of a classic name.
I agree that Frozen can be a guide for this. If Elin was a sibling to Elsa and Anna (AW-nna) sure, EE-lin would be the pronunciation. But just as the pronunciation for other people is Anna (Ann-a), we are going with EL-enn. This is a roll your eyes level boundary crossing that says more about the relatives than anything to do with your naming choices.
Or the Upper Midwest, where I am from. I know of third or fourth generation Americans with names like Dagny, Signy, Solveig, Brynhild,, Kjell, Thor, Hjalmar, Odin, Ole, etc. i would automatically pronounce Kari as KAW-ree and Kirsten as KEER-sten. So Elin pronounced EE-lynn is also automatic.
I’m going to suggest you legally change her name to a more obviously phonetic spelling if this really bugs you. Either Ellyn or Ellynn would more obviously be said Ellen. You’ll still have to spell it everywhere but people will be more likely to pronounce it as you like when they see it written down.