Have They Found the Perfect First Name for their Daughter?

Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.

SHOULD YOU CHOOSE A NAME YOUR LOVED ONES DON’T LIKE?

Jennifer writes:

I am thrilled to be able to write to you and ask for your guidance with naming my third child, our first girl, due in early 2025.

My husband and I have one name that we agree on but after mentioning it to my dear grandmother, I’m starting to get cold feet. She asked why I couldn’t pick a real name.

Our top name is Opal, or Opaline.

Other than my grandmother’s reaction, I’m hesitant about the “uhhhl” sound at the end. I don’t know if I’m over-thinking it but it doesn’t seem to slip off the tongue as easily as my sons’ names.

I do like the fact that all of my children’s names would end differently. And I do like that they’re all two syllables.

Nicknames are important to me – my husband loves the nickname Opie if we went with Opal.

If not Opal, we have discussed:

• Parker – my husband knows a Parker
• Dahlia – my husband doesn’t like the infamous news story
• Grace
• Hazel – but too popular?
• Eleanor
• Mabel – but gaining in popularity?
• Briar

To me, it’s a big bonus if the name has a special meaning (that’s what sold me on Bodhi), and isn’t too popular.

I’m also open to nature names, as my son’s middles are both nature-themed. I’d love some suggestions that embody beauty, strength and/or hope – all things that come to mind when I think of this baby.

For middles, we’d like to use family names, Anne and Barbara.

Her last name will be Irish, a name that is relatively popular as a first name.

Thank you so much for your help! I am over the moon but feel so much pressure to pick the perfect name for our little girl.

LOOKING FOR MEANING AND STYLE

Abby replies:

Congratulations on your daughter!

You’ve got such a great name list, and I like the way Arlo and Bodhi go together without being too matched. They’re new-old names: plenty of history and backstory, but not really used until more recent years.

Let’s talk about your current list first, then jump into some fresh possibilities. But – spoiler – I kind of think you might already have found your daughter’s name.

CURRENT LIST

ELEANOR, GRACE, HAZEL

Let’s start by dropping names ranked in the current US Top 100. They’re gorgeous choices, all. But they’re not a secret anymore. Arlo and Bodhi have risen in use, and they’re familiar … but they’re just not this common.

DAHLIA, PARKER

So different! And yet, I can see either as a sister for Arlo and Bodhi. It’s just if your husband has strong, clearly articulated objections, I doubt they’re really options, right?

MABEL

When it comes to popularity, there are numbers – and then there’s the reality of the kids in our extended circle of friends, family, and neighbors. Mabel is absolutely gaining in use, but it’s still similar to Bodhi, popularity-wise. I have a hard time ruling it out, but it sounds like you’re hearing it around you more than you’d like. The thing: between Opal and Hazel, Mabel is a good midpoint: very familiar, easily pronounced and spelled, not too common.

BRIAR

A nature name used for girls and boys alike – though modestly more common for girls – Briar has a lot to offer. The imagine is appealing. It brings to mind sweetbriar – a rose bush, a little bit elegant but also spiky and wild. It’s easy to spell and pronounce, borrowed from nature but works well as a personal name, too. Like Arlo and Bodhi, you might argue that Briar has history. (Briar Rose was another name for Sleeping Beauty in the folktales, and Disney uses it in their version, too.) But it feels fresh and modern, just like your boys’ names.

OPALINE

Opaline has been used in tiny numbers for decades – but it’s very rare. In fact, I wasn’t certain how to pronounce it. After checking with Forvo, I’m inclined to say it ends with -een. And that’s a little bit dated, from the age of Maureen and Darlene. (Those names will be back, of course – but not quite yet, though sparky Maxine is gaining in use.) Opaline could rhyme with pine and shine and Adeline, of course, which is far more current. But I’m not sure the extra syllable adds that much.

OPAL

It’s so frustrating when a loved one criticizes our favorite name!

But here’s the thing: names change every generation. Quiz anyone from the 1960s about their favorite names? Maybe they’ve moved on from Kevin and Lisa, Justin and Ashley … but I’m guessing they’d be surprised to hear that Isla and Asher are the 2024 equivalents of those choices.

Just like that avocado green refrigerator in the Brady Bunch kitchen, or that plaid sofa in the Tanner family living room on Full House, styles change. Dramatically. Appliances are mostly stainless. I can’t remember the last time I saw a checkered sofa.

Kayla and Taylor are mom names now, and Opal? Went from #682 in 2019 to #488 in 2023, a steady march up the popularity charts.

Is it a little less common than Arlo and Bodhi? At the moment, yes. But only a little. The challenge of girls’ names is that we often have to look a little farther up the list to find a name that feels as distinctive as the choices for our sons.

As for the ending -uhl sound … I don’t think it’s very different from Hazel or Mabel. (Or Axel or Gabriel or Noelle or … you get the idea.)

One last thought on Opal. While Opie is cute, I’d be tempted to shorten the name to Pally – Polly. (Which, okay, is actually one letter longer. But you know what I mean!)

FRESH SUGGESTIONS

ALMA

There are multiple meanings and origins for this brief, complete name, but the one that resonates most might be soul in Spanish.

BLYTHE

An archaic word meaning happy. Blythe feels like a potential compromise between modern Briar and vintage Dahlia.

ESME

Esme means esteemed or loved – which is absolutely perfect. Plus there’s a different ending sound and like Arlo and Bodhi, it’s a new-old name.

IRIS

The goddess of the rainbow in Greek mythology, a messenger connecting the realm of the gods to we mere mortals. Full disclosure: Iris ranks in the current US Top 100. But … nothing really sounds like Iris, so I think it works.

LYRA

I found myself wondering what contemporary names your grandmother might’ve liked, and my thoughts turned to Lily. But Lily – particularly with all the other Lil- and Lyla and Lola names – is wildly common. Lyra, though? It’s a night sky name inspired by the constellation which was borrowed from the musical instrument – the lyre. That’s a lot of layers of meaning, plus Lyra is the main character in Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy, which helps make it a little more familiar.

PALMER

If Parker is taken, would Palmer appeal? It’s a similar-sounding surname. As with Opal, I might call a daughter Palmer Polly for short. The meaning is appealing, too: it refers to palm trees. Someone earned the nickname Palmer because they’d been on pilgrimage to the Holy Lands and brought back palm fronds. It suggests travel and adventure. It’s also reasonably common for girls – probably because of Brooklyn Decker’s character in 2011 movie Just Go With It.

POPPY

Bright and energetic, another nature name that’s a little more familiar than Opal and matches with your interest in nature names.

SELAH

A Hebrew musical term, Selah means pause – probably. We’re not completely certain. But it has a vaguely spiritual meaning connected to listening and reflection. Like Bodhi, it’s an appealing meaning with lots of interpretations.

THEA

Theodore means “gift of God.” Strictly speaking, the -dor part means gift. Theodora is the feminine form, and Thea a logical short form.

ZORA

A name with Slavic roots meaning dawn, Zora fits with Nora, Cora, and Aurora, but still stands out.

Overall, I really can’t top Opal. I do think I’d suggest Briar from your list as the logical second choice. And from my list? I’d be curious to hear whether Palmer works, but the name that comes to mind is likely Esme or Lyra. (Though I trip over “Arlo and Lyra” a little bit, so that gives me pause.)

Readers, over to you! What would you name a sister for Arlo and Bodhi?