Baby Naming Dilemma: Saving a Name for a Son

Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.

SHOULD THEY SAVE THIS NAME FOR A SON?

Meredith writes:

We have a daughter named Charlotte Eden, called Lottie. I love her name, and even though we do meet other Charlottes, her nickname helps. Charlotte is a name we both loved. Eden is a name I liked but I wasn’t sure about for her first name.

When we were expecting Charlotte, we agreed that we’d name a boy Joseph. Joseph is my grandfather’s name and my husband’s dad’s name, too. They’re both named after other men in their family, and my dad and brother both have Joseph as a middle name.

Now we’re expecting our second child later this year. If it was a boy, his name would be Joseph. But we just found out we’re having a girl.

For a lot of reasons, I’m not sure if a third child will happen for us. So I feel like we need to decide if we should keep saving Joseph for a boy someday, or if we should name this baby Josephine.

I do really like the name Josephine, and I think Lottie and Josie sound great together.

My husband is less sure. He think it’s maybe “not the same thing.”

So, should we be saving the name for a son?

The other name I like a lot with Charlotte is maybe Frances, because I get all the JD Salinger vibes from Franny, but I’m not sure it’s the one and my husband is lukewarm.

Our last name sounds like Parks with an M.

Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.

TO SAVE OR NOT TO SAVE?

Abby replies:

Congratulations on your new daughter!

This is definitely a case of making two separate decisions.

First, let’s talk about Joseph.

It sounds like it’s a happy coincidence that one of The Most Significant Names in Both of Your Families also happens to be a name you like and agree on.

But if you dig a little deeper, can you identify which matters more?

• We want to honor both families, and all of these important people in our lives, by using the name Joseph.
• We really like the name Joseph, and appreciate that it has so much meaning to our families.

The difference is subtle, but significant.

Because if honoring your loved ones matters most?

Then I don’t think you should wait. There’s a chance you won’t have a third child. There’s also a chance that, even if you do eventually grow your family, you might never have a son.

But maybe you both just like the name Joseph, and all the loved ones sharing the name is a bonus.

That’s different, isn’t it? In that case, you like the name Joseph. And you’ll have to evaluate Josephine independently. Maybe it works … maybe it’s just not for you.

Of course, you and your husband might answer that question differently. Which is fine! It’s the key conversation to have before moving forward.

For the moment, I’m going to assume that you like Joseph for a boy, and that honoring loved ones is a secondary consideration. Let’s find more girl names that:

• Count as classic choices
• Come with a sparky, built-in nickname
• Sound right with big sister Charlotte-called-Lottie
• Leave open the possibility of using the name Joseph (or even Josephine) in the future

A SISTER FOR CHARLOTTE “LOTTIE” EDEN

ADELAIDE “ADDIE”

Addie is popular, as a short form of Addison, Adeline, and Adalyn. But Adelaide is relatively uncommon and it’s a bit of a heavy hitter – regal, saintly, distinctive.

BEATRICE “BEA”

Smart and tailored, just like Charlotte.

GEORGIA “GEORGIE”

Another feminine form of a classic masculine name. Georgia is high-energy and Georgie is darling.

KATHERINE “KIT”

Strong and enduring Katherine is a timeless name. Kate is the obvious short form, but just like you’ve chosen Lottie instead of Charlie, I wonder if you’d prefer Kit over Kate?

LOUISE “LOU”

Lots of Lou names would work, but I like the way Charlotte and Louise are both subtly French and quietly restrained.

MARGARET “MAISIE”

I’m not sure about Margaret with your surname, but I’m so into Maisie that I’m going to stick with it.

ROSALIE “ROSIE”

Another name with lots of variations, Rose can be as spare or elaborate as you like.

TERESA “TESS”

Teresa is the kind of name that everybody knows, but relatively few of us are choosing. And Tess is a sweet, vintage nickname name that I love with Lottie.

Overall, I love Katherine called Kit best of all, and I wonder if another modern middle would help: Katherine “Kit” Avery, maybe? Beatrice “Bea” is great, too. Maybe Beatrice “Bea” Violet?

Another option could be to choose Josephine or Jo as a middle name. Something like Teresa “Tess” Josephine might be lovely, too.

And lastly, without knowing how you’ll answer the all-important question? I do think I’d probably lean toward using the name Josephine for this baby. Josephine “Josie” Merritt, maybe?

Readers, over to you! What would you suggest – is saving a name for a son wise, or should they name this baby Josephine? If not Josephine, what would you name a sister for Charlotte “Lottie” Eden?