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Name Help: The Y Problem

June 17, 2022 By appellationmountain 13 Comments

Name Help: A Brother for HaydenName Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed.

We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight!

Kirstyn writes:

I’m Kirstyn. My husband is Dylan, and our son is Hayden.

Our second son is due in August. My favorite name is Boden and Dylan likes it, too.

But this baby would be the only one of us without a Y in his name, something that more than one of our family/friends have pointed out. I like the way Boyden looks, but everybody seems to say it BOY-den or BOYD-en, which isn’t right.

Is there any way to spell Boden with a Y that works?

Read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.

Abby replies:

Congratulations on your second son!

The hard part first: Boyden is a non-starter.

Changing up a spelling is fine. I imagine you might introduce yourself as “Kirstyn, K-I-R-S-T-Y-N” in some situations. But looking at Kirstyn, I immediately know how to pronounce it. It’s different, but it’s still phonetically transparent. And swapping out an “i” or “e” for a “y” is common.

Dylan and Hayden are, of course, the dominant spellings of those two names.

Bodyn is a possibility.

To return to the K-I-R-S-T-Y-N point. Bodyn with a Y seems like an option. We’re used to seeing Jordyn, Londyn, and so on.

But it doesn’t seem quite as natural to me as some other spellings.

Maybe it’s because the “y” is often substituted to make a name seem more feminine? Or maybe it’s because I see it like Body-with-a-N, which is right … but somehow trips up my eyes.

Bodyn is very rare – just six boys (and fewer than five girls) received this particular spelling in 2021.

Still, it absolutely satisfies your goal: it’s the name you prefer, with the family Y.

Question time: do you imagine that this child completes your family?

None of us has a crystal ball, but it’s worth considering.

While you – and your close family and friends – notice the Y immediately, that doesn’t mean you have to continue to give all your children names with a Y embedded.

Imagine that you’re welcoming baby #3 and it’s a girl. Is there a Y name you love?

Or you’re now the parents of Hayden, Bodyn, and Madilyn … and you’re trying to find a name for your fourth child, another boy, that absolutely has to have a Y in it now.

If it’s feeling forced, and you imagine you’ll continue to grow your family, then this might be the time to drop the Ys entirely.

As kids become more independent – which happens fast – I suspect it would be less and less of an issue. Or, think about it this way: do you remember the names of your childhood friends’ parents? I know a handful, mostly because they were neighbors who socialized with my parents.

It’s a little more noticeable with siblings, but only a little. After high school, we tend to live independent lives. I know, vaguely, if my friends have siblings, and I’ve met a few here and there. But after those intense years of little kid-dom, when we’re working our way through the same elementary school and Saturday soccer league, it’s easy to not know.

If you want to keep the Ys and Bodyn ruins it for you, maybe there’s another Y name?

Brady, Grady, and Grayson all came to mind. But maybe they’re too close to Hayden?

Or maybe:

BAYLOR

A little bit of that long A sound, as in Hayden. But with a different ending, to make the boys’ names distinct.

BYRON

Poetic Byron has a certain romantic vibe. But it’s also a very current-sounding name, and gives all four of you a name ending with N.

DOYLE

Another surname name with a naturally occurring Y.

FLYNN

As brief and high-energy as Finn.

HUXLEY

Is putting the Y at the end cheating? Huxley sounds like a brother for Hayden, but gives you a different kind of pattern to consider. Would all of your children have H names?

ROONEY

An Irish surname with tremendous appeal.

ROYSTON

Rare, but very wearable.

WYLIE

Another surname name, sharing the ending sound of Huxley and Rooney, but putting the Y in the middle.

Overall, I think I’d probably use Boden.

I like Boden so much as a brother name for Hayden! I think I’d use it as-is, and maybe focus on a Y-centric middle name instead – possibly a boy name starting with Y that would give him that middle initial, even? Boden Yates, maybe? Boden Yardley? Boden Yarrow …

Because if you liked Bodyn, well … you wouldn’t be raising the question, would you?

I think it’s fine to break the Y pattern. After all, you’re still all two-syllable names ending with N!

But if keeping the Y is important, I’d focus on finding another name, like Dylan and Hayden, where it seems more natural. Flynn would be my favorite, but you have plenty of good choices!

Readers, what would you name Hayden’s brother?

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Comments

  1. Zoe says

    June 23, 2022 at 8:11 AM

    My automatic thought was go with Bodey , he will probably get called Bodhi as a nickname as Boden, so going with Bodey could be the answer nn Bode, another name I imagine Boden would carry.

    Reply
  2. Clara says

    June 19, 2022 at 10:13 AM

    From experience, don’t force the Y spelling. If a name you love naturally contains a Y, then go for it. I am close to a family whose 5 children have names that contain a Y. Only 1 of their names is typically spelled with a Y, two are rare but passable, and the last 2 are honestly so forced and unnatural but the parents chose to go that path because they liked the connection between the siblings.
    I never ever question any one’s name choices once they’ve made an announcement, because, well, I’m not them… but this dearly loved family brings me verrry close (and has at least helped me cement my preference to not stray into unnatural spelling realms for my own children’s names if we have anymore). The two younger children who are pre-teen now both openly detest the spelling of their names and the constant confusion it causes. Time will tell if they get over it or not 🙂

    Reply
  3. Rhiannon says

    June 18, 2022 at 11:17 AM

    My first reaction was “Oh come on! A shared letter is so unimportant!” Then I remembered how it gives me a little thrill that my name and my husband’s and my baby’s all share an o, n and a! Tee-hee ;-). So I get it. But we’re still planning to call another baby Felicity because it’s the name we love and agree on. To us, that trumps any other consideration.

    Reply
  4. Megan says

    June 17, 2022 at 4:08 PM

    Beaudyn solves pronunciation and y. Beauden charts in New Zealand and Wales.

    Tyson/Bryson or another y + -n is a good choice for flexibility with future names. You could choose to use one pattern or the other as long as both are well established.

    Reply
  5. H says

    June 17, 2022 at 12:06 PM

    When I say Boyden out loud I hear “Biden” with an Irish accent I think it falls under too much possible confusion to be worth the added y. Also, like others, the first thing I noticed was the two syllable ends in n pattern, and Boden checks that box. I would never have noticed the y’s at first glance personally. I like the idea of a y middle.

    Reply
    • appellationmountain says

      June 19, 2022 at 5:50 PM

      Love that point – that the two-syllable, ends-with-N pattern is there, too, with or without the Y …

      Reply
  6. diane says

    June 17, 2022 at 12:05 PM

    I agree that the Y theme could be broken, but I do like Hayden and Byron as brothers. They names have a classic feeling and an air of historic significance.

    Reply
  7. Renee says

    June 17, 2022 at 11:44 AM

    @keats has a really good point about the spelling of Kirstyn. If your family introduced yourself aloud, I would likely default to spelling your name Kirstin or Kirsten first, if I couldn’t ask you to clarify first – and I would always clarify because I know many spellings of your particular name. Maybe if you want that shared Y for signing Christmas cards, etc, you can call him Bodey as a nickname and sign it that way? Or just go with Bodey on paper?

    That you and your partner both like Boden seems like something not to give up so easily because it can’t fit a pattern. And as others have said, you clearly are continuing a pattern with not only an n-ending for your family, but a -den ending for your brothers. That’s already quite matchy enough, I don’t think I’d force an alternate spelling that would probably annoy him his whole life.

    Reply
  8. The Mrs. says

    June 17, 2022 at 11:23 AM

    Agree with everything Abby said. Give him a middle name that includes a ‘Y’, but keep Boden. You have great taste!

    Reply
  9. Iris says

    June 17, 2022 at 11:13 AM

    Quite honestly, the pattern I notice when I read all 3 names together is 2 syllables, ending in -n.
    So Boden fits right in! And plenty of other names do, too!
    Don’t worry about finding a name with Y.

    Reply
  10. keats says

    June 17, 2022 at 10:08 AM

    To me, Boyden looks like a den of boys. Personally I’d stick with Boden. And Hayden and Boden share the den part so maybe you think of it as the parents share a y and the kids the “den”. Abby’s suggestion of all sharing the n, though, give you ultimate flexibility. So many n ending names!

    Plus, I’m not sure how many other parents let alone kids will realize you are Kirstyn with a y. I think the y pattern will be lost on most of the world. So it really comes down to how much you care.

    I went through this with my last baby – to continue a family naming pattern or use standard spelling. The later ultimately won for me. I struggled with it, being a name nerd and all. But at the end, my child will spend most of their life independent from the rest of us where the pattern won’t matter. So why burden the kid with something that won’t even be visible 95% of the time? And you know what, I still love the name.

    There are lots of good y choices and n choices out there. Just don’t try too hard to force something into a pattern if it doesn’t work. It is okay to love a name and not use it, and also okay to break your own rules!

    Reply
  11. A says

    June 17, 2022 at 9:36 AM

    I think there are a few questions to ask yourself to help you decide what to do. Would you be more upset to name him Boden and miss out on the letter Y but have everybody pronounce it correctly? Or name him Boyden to have your pattern continue but constantly have to correct everybody on pronunciation? Would you want to be named Boyden pronounced Boden and have to deal with the frequent corrections yourself?

    I agree with Abby that Boyden pronounced Boden is a non starter because that Y makes all the difference in how it is pronounced and Boden just doesn’t make sense with that spelling. I think once little Boden makes his arrival people will be swooning over your new precious babe and quickly forget about his name not having a Y in it.

    Other suggestions
    Brody
    Bryce/Brycen
    Rhys (Reece)
    Casey
    Grady
    Ryker
    Rylan
    Zachary
    Kyle
    Tyson

    Reply
  12. Willow says

    June 17, 2022 at 7:54 AM

    Yannick comes to mind immediately and I like Hayden and Yannick together.

    Reply

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