UPDATE: He’s here! Kaitlyn writes: Thank you so much for all of the ideas and suggestions. What meant the most was the many people who said Charles/Charlie wasn’t off the table. We tried to choose another name, and we did really like Beckett Roger. But in the end, we decided Charlie was the name we really wanted to use, and so we went with Charles Roger. A friend of mine said that we should see it as a connection between the boys, and since they have different last names, it’s actually kind of nice to share a name. I love that! Again, thank you for everything!
Kaitlyn writes:
My first son is named for his grandfather, my ex’s dad, Martin. I chose the middle name Charles, and I thought that we would call him Charlie. But it never really stuck, mostly because we lived with my ex’s family at the time and they all refused to use his middle name.
Now he’s six and he’s Martin, pretty much all of the time, except with my ex’s mom, who calls him Marty (to distinguish from her husband.)
When I look back, I still have lots of name regret and it feels weird to introduce my son by such an old man name. At the same time, my little guy makes me see all the good things about his name, too, and it never seems to cause him any problems.
Now I’m expecting again. This is my new husband’s first, and he doesn’t have any really strong opinions about what to name this baby.
If it was a girl, I don’t think I would be so worried about it. We both agree on Aurora, Delilah, maybe Viviana, Cecilia.
Naming a boy feels harder. Charlie was my all-time favorite name, and I’ve used it, but can’t use it, if that makes sense.
Names that my husband and I mostly agree on are Beckett, Knox, Griffin, Hayes, and maybe Callum.
Except do they sound Martin’s brother? I’ve also considered naming him Roger, for my dad; Raymond, for my new husband’s dad; or maybe Alan, for my mom’s brother who we were really close to growing up and is now like a bonus grandpa to Martin. (My dad passed away before Martin was born.)
Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your new son!
And yes, this is a dilemma.
Let’s talk through your options:
One: Name this son Charles/Charlie. On the positive side, Martin and Charles/Charlie sound like brothers. It’s really not Martin’s name, in the sense that he doesn’t use it or think of himself as Charlie, right? So I don’t think it’s completely off the table. But I can see that it’s not ideal, either.
Two: Name this son a current, stylish name like Beckett/Hayes/Knox/Griffin/Callum. This feels like an obvious approach. Start with a blank slate and choose a name you both like.
Three: Use a meaningful family name. I get the appeal. Roger/Raymond/Alan all sound like Martin’s brother, and it ensures that both boys have a namesake.
Four: Split the difference. Choose a more traditional name, like Charles/Charlie that sounds more like a brother for Martin. Names like James, William, and Thomas sound just right in most decades. This feels logical, and yet – does it just result in a name that pleases, well … nobody?
My inclination is to suggest that you combine the middle approaches, using a current, stylish first with a meaningful family middle.
Here’s why:
- It’s a name formula that works. Countless families repeat this pattern, year after year. A first name they love that sounds just right for their child’s generation, paired with a family middle to remind them of their roots and honor a loved one.
- Would it help with name regret? It sounds like you still regret choosing a name that’s stuck in style limbo for your first son. It also sounds like a) your son wears it well and b) you’ve come to appreciate his name. But, but, but … wouldn’t you have the same feelings with a name like Roger, Raymond, or Alan?(Or even Charlie, if only because you’d wonder if you’d taken something from your firstborn.)
- Nothing says that sibling names have to match. Lots of families name their firstborn after a loved one and then go their own way for younger siblings. We’ve all met plenty of families with a David Jr., followed by Grayson and Walker – or something like that. It works absolutely fine.
NAME COMBINATIONS for MARTIN’S BROTHER
- BECKETT ROGER
- CALLUM ROGER
- GRIFFIN ROGER
- KNOX RAYMOND
- HAYES ALAN
I think it’s tough to choose a favorite, but I’m leaning towards Beckett Roger. It feels fitting that you use your dad’s name this time, and I really like the flow of Beckett Roger. Plus, when you say them together, Martin and Beckett both sound like appealing surnames – somehow they do feel matched, even though they’re from very different decades.
I was thinking more about t it… what about Allan as a middle. People who choose to show up deserve recognition and it sounds like Uncle Allan did that in spades.
Martin Charles and Victor Allan
First of all, I feel like an honor name for a family you choose to leave has to be hard. I am ABSOLUTELY not judging your love for your son even one iota. But your views on the name can be shaped by those other dynamics too. Divorce is hard….on everyone. It’s okay if that impacts how you feel about the name, because you love the boy unquestionably. And frankly our kids are not defined by their name, but rather the opposite.
So,… what about this new boy!?!!?
I think Griffin feels fresh but old school enough to hang with Martin well. I think the previous suggestion of Calvin is adorable! I also have this weird view that Allan feels fresher than Alan. One is hipster last name/first name and one has a bald spot. But maybe that is only me.
I also was wondering about Victor. Martin and Victor. I feel like they are both old school trending up. The v makes Victor feel fresher but they still pair nicely.
Also, just wait till you can show Martin “Back to the Future”!! So fun! Michael J Fox makes Martin look so sexy. (oh and there is the Calvin reference too! Ha!).
Congratulations on your new little boy!
I’m with Abby: Beckett seems like a perfect choice! It goes great with any of your family honor names, and it sounds nice alongside Martin.
Both names are also classic saints’ names: St. Martin of Tours and St. Thomas Becket. Not that the names need to have religious significance for you, but they both have centuries of history behind them.
If I met a pair of brothers named Martin and Beckett, I would think, “of course! Those names are perfect together.”
I also like the suggestion of Roland as a middle name, combining elements of Roger, Alan, and Raymond.
I see nothing wrong with using Charles, Charlie, or a similar name for this son. Plenty of families reuse names within the same generation. My mom is Clara Agnes, while her younger sister is Agnes Maria. If you love the name, go for it!
I like Griffin from your list, because while it’s a completely different syle, it has the same ending as Martin.
Martin and Griffin sound like brothers
“Charlie was my all-time favorite name, and I’ve used it, but can’t use it, if that makes sense.”
IMHO, you CAN use Charles — or some form of it — as the first name of your second son. I agree with Marisa: “Charles for the first name — because it’s your favorite with Rayond as his middle name.” Both of your sons would share you favorite name Charles/”Charlie” along with a family name.
I also like ab’s suggestion of Charlton. One baby name website says of the name, ” Charlton is also a more unusual pathway to evergreen nickname Charlie.”
Or just name him Charlie with one of the three honor names you’re considering.
Either way — Charles or Charlton or Charlie, you’ll get to use your favorite name, Charlie!
Martin and Charlie: it sounds perfect for your family!
Plus a possible bonus: your six-year-old may be delighted that he and his baby brother share a name.
Hope everyone reading this takes to heart not using a fave name in the middle! We did this with our first and it felt unusable for the second. (Despite the royal precedence mentioned above and Ryan Gosling/Eva Mendes precedent ;-))
This might be too loose a connection for you, but I recognize that both Charlie and Roger are related to early radio communication. You could use both in the middle and those could be your family’s code names for home? Martin Charles and Griffin Roger, Charlie & Roger at home?
I love the idea of honoring Alan too, but maybe that’s where you tweak to a more modern name like Alder/n or Landon or Callan, OR more traditionally classic tweak like Alec or Alastair or Declan or oooh… Combine your new son’s ‘grandpa’s names and call him Rylan?? (Raymond&Alan) although Almond which is a truer smoosh is an adorable name for the middle?? Beckett Almond! Rylan Knox!
Martin is a surname, so I honestly think you could choose a surname and it’ll feel like a match. So most of your list fits! Hayes Rolland could honour all three ‘grandpas’ in the middle! So many fun ways to play this. I hope you find something you love.
There is royal precedent for using an older sibling’s middle as a first name for a younger sibling: Prince George Alexander Louis and Prince Louis Arthur Charles, sons of the Prince and Princess of Wales. Both boys are named Louis in honor of Louis Mountbatten, 1st Earl Mountbatten of Burma. You could tell your sons that you wanted them each to have your most favorite name.
I like Martin Charles with Charles Alan or Charles Griffin.
You might also name your son Charlton (as in Charlton Heston) and call him Charlie.
Best wishes to you!
I think there are lots of timeless names to choose from that feel modern yet not too jarring paired with big brother Martin. The middle spot would be a great place for Raymond, Alan, or Roger so both boys have a family name.
If you like Callum but also have Alan on your list then maybe you would like Calvin? Or Callan? Cal is a lovely nickname too and Calvin and Martin definitely sound like brothers to me; Callan and Martin sound nice as well.
Raymond and Charlie make me think of Jay. Jay has the same cool, friendly vibe as Charlie yet feels grown up and timeless like Raymond. Jay Alan is so handsome and Martin and Jay sound great as brothers!
Or maybe you would like Grant? It’s a surname name like Hayes and Knox and Beckett, sounds similar to Griffin, but feels timeless and handsome like Martin. Grant Alan, Grant Roger, Grant Raymond. Martin and Grant!
Similar reasons as Grant, how about Elliot. Elliot Alan, Elliot Roger, Elliot Raymond. Martin and Elliot.
Charleston! Charleston and Martin sound like brothers and yet, it’s still a little different from Martin’s middle name. Any of the honor names would be great for a middle.
As a mother to a Callum, I’d throw a vote there. Callum Raymond sounds lovely. Beckett Alan is quite sharp too! But my favorite might be Charles “Charlie” Raymond for the significance—it’s your favorite first name, connects the brothers, and honors your husband’s side too.