Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, we discuss reader’s name questions, usually on Tuesdays and Fridays. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.
IS THIS FAMILY BIG ENOUGH FOR ANOTHER SARAH?
Marlie writes:
We are expecting our first baby in November, a daughter.
Right now, the name we want to use is Sarah. Sarah was my grammy and a big part of my life growing up. She was even our flower girl at our wedding, and passed not long after we got married.
The problem is my husband’s aunt. She’s crazy, not in a fun way. Like restraining order crazy. Like we gave the staff at the wedding reception her picture in case she tried to crash our party crazy.
Her name? Of course it’s also Sarah. She mostly goes by Sal.
Despite this, I think we want to use the name. My grammy’s full name was Sarah Ann VeryLongLastName, and Ann doesn’t seem like enough to honor her memory.
Before we thought about using Sarah, I was trying to talk my husband into Priscilla, which he was lukewarm about, so I’m not sure we even have a back-up name.
Our last name is like Mac plus Guinness, but spelled differently.
Will we regret using the same name as this aunt?
Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
WHEN IT COMES TO A NAMESAKE … IT DEPENDS!
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your new daughter!
I have SO many thoughts.
It sounds like you’re not in contact in any meaningful way, but she’s also not entirely removed from your life.
Based on that assumption, I think we should consider the worst case scenario.
What could go wrong if you name your daughter Sarah?
- At a minimum, there could certainly be some moments of frustration. Will others in your extended family assume you’re honoring the aunt? Or might your aunt reach out on the assumption that your daughter’s name honors her?
- How might your in-laws react? Your family will be thrilled with the decision, I imagine. But might your in-laws struggle with your choice? And if the answer is yes, does the struggle look like initial discomfort that will fade when they meet their granddaughter … or is it likely to be more of a long-term uneasiness? It’s difficult to predict, I know.
Are there other factors to consider?
- Will they have the same first and last name? It seems like they might both be Sarah Mac-plus-Guinness. It’s not an uncommon name, but can you imagine that duplication causing problems in the future? In general, I think the name Sarah has been such a classic for so long that it helps make your case that it’s not about this aunt … but matching a first and last night might present more of a challenge.
- How close are they in age? My impression is that your husband’s aunt Sarah is in her 40s, if not a bit older. Does that impact your decision at all? I’d feel better if great aunt Sarah were 60-something, and worse if she’s more like 30ish. While it still seems unlikely that they’d ever be confused in real life, if they do have the same first and last name, it’s less likely to be an issue the wider the gap in their ages.
USE THE NAME YOU LOVE
The namesake issue is real, but so is the important of honoring your beloved grandmother.
I think there are a few ways to proceed, some of which might work together.
- Lean into your reasons – hard. Every written birth announcement emphasizes the connection between your daughter’s name and your late grandmother. It can be as simple as “Sarah Middle Last arrived on November 15, 2026. She’s named for my beloved grammy, the late Sarah Last.”
- Choose a distinctive middle name to help ensure your daughter stands out from her aunt. Maybe another family name or a strong word name. Or even Sarah Priscilla. I think it’s an unusual combination that feels lasting and unexpected.
- Mix up Sarah Ann in a new way. Could you call her Anna Sarah or even Annasara?
You might also take one last crack at finding a creative honor name for your grandmother. This list is a good jumping off point: favorite colors, flowers, her place of birth and so on.
I do think this might be one of those rare times that you preview a name.
If there’s a chance your in-laws will be hurt by the decision, then it’s worth talking over in advance. The risk, of course, is that they might ask you to choose another name.
With all that said? It sounds like Sarah really is the name to beat – and right now nothing comes close.
As long as you feel comfortable navigating any short-term discomfort or surprise, and feel confident that any such emotion will be fleeting? Then yes, I would use the name.
Readers, over to you! Do you have any experience with a similar situation and how would you handle this namesake issue?
