Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.
UNISEX NAMES RUN IN THEIR FAMILY
Alex writes:
My name is Alexandra, but I’ve always been called Alex. My mom’s name is Rhonda, and she’s always been Ronnie. I have an older sister, Samantha “Sam” and she named her only daughter Riley.
I feel like this is our thing. Maybe not a tradition, per se, but I’ve always liked my name and liked the way my sister and mom have names that are similar.
My husband and I are expecting our first child in the spring, and I’d like to continue the family tradition.
He’s fine with it, but his mom? She has opinions, and she thinks it’s not a good idea. She keeps sending me name suggestions like Hannah and Amelia, and I don’t really know how to respond. To my husband, she tells him stories about girls who hate having boys’ names. She’s also suggested longer names Billie could be short for, like Isabella.
I would like some feedback on names we’re considering, because I don’t want to make a mistake.
- Billie – Our top name, for a couple of reasons. William is also the name of my husband’s late father and my husband’s middle name. I know my mother-in-law would’ve liked us to name a son William, but I think that’s not really right for us. Billie for a girl, though? Love.
- Avery – A name I used to like so much for a daughter, but I think maybe it’s too popular now?
- Emery/Remy – Kind of in love with this one, but it’s maybe a little bit complicated and I feel like she’d end up being called Emmy/Em instead. I do think that might be easier for my mother-in-law though, so maybe it’s worth considering.
- Charlie/Charlotte – A name my mother considered if she’d ever had a third daughter. (But she had my brother, Jordan, instead.)
- Jo/Josephine – My niece Riley’s suggestion. I love the idea of Riley helping name my daughter.
- Mickie/Michael, Vachel, Bree/Breanne, Nikki/Dominika – Not really! All names on a list from maybe middle school (!) that I found when I was cleaning out my old desk in my mom’s house before she moved last year.
My questions are:
- Thoughts on Billie? My husband is pretty laid back about this, so if there’s anything I need to hear, he won’t say it.
- What can I tell my mother-in-law? It’s weird to me that she’s telling me how much my daughter will hate having a boy’s name when I have a “boy” name!
- Should I be more seriously considering some of the other names on our list? Is it important to give our daughter a formal name? I acknowledge that if I ever want to avoid confusion, I can tell people my name is Alexandra, and maybe Billie would resent not having that option.
Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
TRUSTING YOUR EXPERIENCE
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your new daughter!
My first reaction on reading your letter was this: okay, her name is Billie.
But I walked away from it for a few days, because sometimes re-reading changes my mind.
Nope. While there’s only so much we can learn from a letter, I’m still pretty sure this girl is already named.
Here’s why:
- Billie is an honor name. That’s powerful. It’s the extra something that tips a choice from “oh, I love this name” to “oh, I love this name and the story behind why we chose it.”
- Billie is a very normal name for this generation. There was no such thing as stainless steel refrigerator in the home kitchens of my childhood. Now they’re the norm. But we don’t think about that, right? In the same way, name trends are often invisible. Your instinct to choose Billie fits with popular names of our moment, from casual favorites like Sadie and Ellie to rhymes-with-Billie staples like Millie and Lily.
- Billie is the kind of name you’d choose for yourself. I think it’s always good to reflect on our own names when making choices for our children. You have first-hand knowledge about this style of name, and know that it’s served you well.
An honor name that also feels like a mainstream choice for a 2025 baby? That’s a winning combination.
CONSIDERING OTHER NAMES ON YOUR LIST
Still, let’s back up and talk about other names on your list.
I’m going to skip Mickie/Michael, Vachel, Bree/Breanne, and Nikki/Dominika. It’s amazing that you have this list! While it’s a great indicator that you’ve always considered this broad style category appealing. But beyond that, it doesn’t seem like these names are real contenders.
AVERY
Avery is a great name, but it’s very popular for girls, ranked in the Top 50 since 2007. It mixes in with other chart-toppers like Ava and Evelyn.
CHARLIE/CHARLOTTE
I love that you know your brother’s almost-name, but this seems more like family trivia than a choice to seriously consider for your child.
EMERY/REMY
I haven’t heard this before, and I can imagine it working well. But does it really seem like a better choice than Billie? I’m not convinced.
JO/JOSEPHINE
It sounds like you’re really close with your niece. It’s incredibly fun with the children in our lives can help out with our decision. We’ll come back to this in a minute.
FORMAL NAMES FOR BILLIE
Personally? I have a strong preference for formal names with built-in nicknames, preferably multiple options.
But that’s not necessarily the only valid approach. I can argue just as strongly for skipping the formal name.
At the end of the day, if a formal name appeals to you, then of course – use it! But if that’s not the case, then it’s best to just put Billie on her birth certificate.
I’d never heard Isabella suggesting as a formal name for Billie. It works, I suppose. Other suggestions from scouring the internet included Lillian and Abigail. Again … sure, I can see it. Maybe any traditional(ish) name with a strong B and L sound would work. Elizabeth? Belinda?
But I think these work best:
SYBIL
An uncommon choice, but one that clearly ends with -bil. Sybilla is another option.
WILLA
Clearly a feminine form of William, but does Willa really need a nickname? I’ve seen Willia, too.
WILLOW
A Top 100 nature name with a strong Wil- sound, though I doubt many parents choose Willow intending to shorten it to Billie.
WILHELMINA
This tends to be listed as the feminine form of William. Strictly speaking, it comes from the German Wilhelm. Williamina is rarely seen, even if it seems like the logical English version. While you absolutely could name your daughter Wilhelmina, it seems like a rather extreme choice – not any longer than Alexandra, but not nearly as familiar, either.
THE NAME TO BEAT: BILLIE JOSEPHINE
Overall, my top recommendation is easy: Billie Josephine.
Here’s why:
- The first name is clearly a nod to your husband and his late father, which makes it so, so special.
- Josephine is a strong, clearly gendered middle name choice that anchors a slightly unisex first. Plus, it was suggested by your niece, which is a bonus.
Also worth noting: Billie, spelled this way, has long been used as a feminine form of William. Besides figures from our moment, like Billie Eilish and Billie Piper, there’s the legendary singer Billie Holiday and tennis star Billie Jean King. The actress who played Glinda in the Wizard of Oz movie back in 1939? Billie Burke.
As for how to respond to your mother-in-law?
In general, it’s wise to hear someone insist “that name is going to be a problem” and translate it to “that is not a name I would personally choose.”
Boundaries are hard.
I think this is solid advice:
- Be positive and firm. “We’ve put a lot of thought into her name and we’re happy with our choice.” Repeat as necessary.
- Consider their advice. I do think it’s sometimes wise to consider others’ comments. Sometimes they notice something we’ve missed – problematic initials or a spelling question. But consider means exactly that – hear them, and feel free to ignore. In this case, you’ve obviously heard your mother-in-law’s concerns. Just because you’re not doing as she prefers doesn’t mean you’ve ignored her.
- Trust your instincts. And in this case, your experience! After living a lifetime as Alex, daughter of Ronnie, sister to Sam and aunt to Riley? If Boy Names on Girls was going to bother you, you’d know!
- Consider the source. Here’s the thing: families are made of human beings. And we human beings are flawed. The good news? We can change and grow. Here’s hoping that the comments about your child’s name are coming from a place of love and excitement. If your mother-in-law respects your child’s name when it’s clear you’ve decided? That will be a good thing. And if not? You’ll have to work with your husband to figure out a strategy.
- Give it time. I hear it, again and again: “I couldn’t stand the name when they announced it, but now I can’t imagine them as anything other than …” Other families excel at re-writing history. “What do you mean? I’ve always loved her name!”
I think Billie Josephine is fine. I’ve known quite a few women with the name. If you want a long form, Willa or Willow are mainstream. You could also use Annabelle, Isabelle, or any name that ends in bel or bil or byl: Sybil, Mabel. Wilhelmina is one of those names that looks like it should be pronounced differently than it is. Willamina is an English phonetic version and Willemina is a Dutch version that makes more intuitive sense.
Before I even read Abby’s reply, I was thinking, “They HAVE to name her Billie Josephine.” I’m delighted to see that Abby and so many commenters agree!
I think Abby makes an excellent point that Billie has a long history as a girl’s name, especially with the -ie spelling. Here are the backgrounds of the namesakes she listed:
1) Billie Eilish – Born Billie Eilish Pirate Baird O’Connell. Her parents had planned to use Eilish as her first name, with Pirate as a middle name. However, when her maternal grandfather, William Baird, died while her mom was pregnant, they made Billie the first name in his honor.
2) Billie Piper – Born Leian Paul Piper. Her parents decided to legally change her first name to Billie when she was 7 months old. William is a family name on her father’s side.
3) Billie Holiday – Born Eleanora Fagan. Chose Billie as a stage name after the film actress Lillian “Billie” Dove (who in turn had a different birth name, Bertha Eugenie Bohny).
4) Billie Jean King – Born Billie Jean Moffitt. Named for her father, Willis “Bill” Moffitt, who was serving in the Navy when she was born. Her mother felt that naming their daughter after him would be a good luck charm to ensure his safe return home from WWII.
5) Billie Burke – Born Mary William Ethelbert Appleton Burke. Named for her father, William “Billy” Ethelbert Burke.
I love the idea of your niece providing the middle name. If your daughter prefers, she can use Josephine in the future. But I agree with Abby that (especially for younger generations) Billie will increasingly read as a gender-neutral name in the future.
Willa Josephine is another appealing possibility. I do have a friend with a daughter named Willa who goes by “Billie”. If you or your husband really want your daughter to have a clearly feminine formal name, Willa would be a nice choice.
You could consider how you feel about your own name. If you’d simply been named Alex (without Alexandra as a formal name), would that have saved you any trouble with government forms and such? Or are you grateful to have had Alexandra for certain occasions? Your own experience might help guide you regarding the possibility of a formal name for Billie.
There are some other great names on your list, which you could save for a potential future daughter, if you think you might have more children. Charlie, Emery, and Remy would all go nicely with Billie.
But I think the choice is clear for this first child!
Your family is Alexandra, Rhonda, and Samantha with short forms. Riley is a unisex surname that doesn’t follow that pattern. Bellamy and Billingsley more like Riley and could be shortened to Billie. Belinda is more like your name. Whatever you decide, it’s your choice, not your MIL’s.
I agree to go with Billie. I normally prefer a longer formal name but if you really want to call her Billie then you run the risk of another nickname sticking – especially from your MIL. She may call Wilhelmina “Minnie” instead In the meantime stop discussing names with MIL and maybe tell her you are waiting until the birth to decide.
I think Willa Josephine “Billie Jo” is the winning pick. Baby gets a formal, feminine long form name with a boyish nickname like mom, grandma, and auntie plus baby’s name also honors grandma William and has a special middle name picked out by your niece. There is so much to love about this name!
As far as your MIL, I would just stop sharing names with her and just respond to “thanks, we will take that name into consideration!” whenever she sends you new suggestions. I think she will quickly get over her opinions once she is holding baby Billie in her arms and has a sweet new granddaughter to associate the name with. She had her chance to name her kids, now it’s your turn!
I love your family tradition, and that you. An bridge it with an honour for your late FIL. I’d avoid a formal name that isn’t directly related to William for that reason. Wilhelmina would be the natural choice, however, 1) I don’t think it’s needed and 2) it’ll give MIL leeway to call her whatever she wants. I’ve seen this happen with grandparents, they completely ignore the preferred nickname, Billie is lovely and Josephine or some other middle can be her backup. I have a daughter with a nickname name and so far she’s 9 and loves it and can’t imagine needing her middle name/s formally. Good luck! MIL had her chance to name kid/s and now it’s your turn and you’re making an awesome decision!
I love Billie Jo!
I love Sybil Josephine-Billie Jo!
Best wishes!!
Congratulations!!
Abby has really put a lot into this I can see.
I do agree if you really like Billie then use it. It would be nice for her to have a longer variant like you have Alexandra. But with the suggestion of Billie Josephine, Billie -Jo is cute.
Just out of interest we have a daughter whose MIDDLE name is Isabella and her nick name is Billie.
Her sibling started that and it’s stuck.