Surprise Baby Five, No Names Left for Fourth Daughter

Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, we discuss reader’s name questions, usually on Tuesdays and Fridays. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.

FOURTH DAUGHTER NEEDS A NAME

Jessica writes:

I always wanted a big family, but we thought we were done after baby number four. Surprise, number five is due to arrive in May.

For the first time for us, a name isn’t coming easily. We have a son and three daughters. This baby is another girl, and I think we’re just out of girls’ names.

Our children are:

• Elisabeth “Ellie” Anne – named for her two grandmothers, Elise and Ann. Maybe not the most exciting name, but she was the first granddaughter on both sides and it felt special.
• Samuel “Sam” Jones – Sam because we both loved it. Jones for the place we met.
• Ava Marie – We felt like our obligations were covered, so we picked a name we liked.
• Violet Grace – Same thing as with Ava’s name. We just tossed around ideas until we both agreed.

It took longer to agree with Violet than with Ava, but we still chose her name before I went into labor. Naming a fourth daughter is starting to feel almost impossible.

We have discussed:

• Olivia – Was almost Ava’s name, but it’s the actual #1 name in the country. I went through school as Jessica H. and always said I wouldn’t do that to my kid.
• Harper – We would probably agree on this, except that our last name sounds like Lat-plus-nur, and anything like Harper, Carter, etc. is choppy.
• Harlow – Suggested as an alternative to Harper, and I do like it, but my husband doesn’t really like it.
• Heidi – My husband immediately said no, I really like it anyway.
• Willow – I really like this name, but my husband feels like we already have a Violet.
• Lily – Somehow my husband likes this one even though he said no to Willow, but I’m not sure I’m a fan!
• Eden – Another name we both mostly agree on, but I’m not sure. I do like that it’s different in terms of ending sound from Ellie, Ava, Violet, and Sam.
• Katherine – A family name we could use, but it is my niece’s middle name, so I feel like it’s sort of taken. Katie/Kate is fine but not my favorite.

I think the problem is that I feel like I’ve heard every name so many times. We don’t want anything too weird, but it’s hard to get excited about something that is already the name of other kids we know.

If this baby was a boy, we liked James, Jonathan, or Bennett, with Bennett James being my favorite.

Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.

NEW IDEAS FOR NAMING A FOURTH DAUGHTER

Abby replies:

Congratulations on your new daughter!

It is funny how naming gets harder as our families grow, isn’t it?

I think you’ve mentioned one of the key reasons: we hear so many children’s names! How can anything be special after we’ve seen it on class lists and cubby labels, heard it shouted on the playground and announced at school assemblies?

That feeling is completely normal, and I hear your frustration at going through life as Jessica H. And yet … your kids’ names are all current Top 100 favorites. And your list of maybe-names doesn’t stray too far from the tried-and-true. This points to two things:

• Fewer children receive Top Ten names, and even the #1 name, than they used to. That means your Ava might never be Ava L., even though you knew two Nicoles and three Heathers.
• As soon as the name belongs to OUR child, it’s instantly special. I’m guessing that your parents still loved your name, even if they heard it a lot! Our children’s names are special because we love our children. Even if they’re not the only one, they’re our only Jack or Sophia or Emily.

Which is a very long way of saying, I’m not sure I would rule Olivia out. But let’s look at your maybe-list in a little more detail.

CURRENT LIST

HARPER

I agree that this isn’t great with a two-syllable, ends-with-R surname. I’d drop it.

KATHERINE, HARLOW, HEIDI, WILLOW, LILY

While I think some of these could be great, it sounds like you’re not really a fan (Lily), your husband isn’t on board (Heidi, Harlow), or you’ve put the name on more from a sense of obligation that actual interest (Katherine).

OLIVIA, EDEN

That leaves Olivia and Eden. They both have strikes against them, but also some strong positives. Between the two, I’m more drawn to Eden. As you say, it has a nicely distinct sound. Then again, Olivia shares the same V as Ava and Violet, so possibly that’s a plus.

A few observations about sounds:

• You mentioned going through school as Jessica H. I wonder if an H name would hold a particular appeal? You’ve considered Harper, Harlow, and Heidi so there’s at least some draw.
• An o-ending name might be great, too, inspired by Willow and Harlow.
• I’ve already mentioned the V sound shared by your two younger daughters’ names. That might be something to continue.

FRESH SUGGESTIONS FOR NAMING A FOURTH DAUGHTER

ANNA

I wonder if you’d like something really traditional to bookend Elisabeth’s name? I love Anna called Annie as a sister for your children.

HATTIE

Brainstorming H names now … Hallie is a lot of L with your Lat-plus-nur surname. But Hattie has potential.

HAVEN

Another H name, this one with a nod to Eden.

MARGOT

An o-ending name that feels more on the traditional(ish) side. Like Elisabeth, it’s gently French.

PENELOPE

Since you love Olivia, I wonder if more long names for girls are worth a look. Penelope is an obvious option, but there’s also Anastasia, Evangeline, Juliana, and so many more.

RUBY

Brief and complete, with a sound that’s not quite like what you’ve chosen so far, but also perfectly compatible. It reminds me just a bit of Heidi.

SADIE

If Eden’s strong D sound appeal, I wonder if Sadie is an option?

VIVIAN

Another V-centric possibility, with a bit of Eden’s ending, too.

Overall, my favorite from your list is Eden. Eden Katherine, maybe?

From my list, I’m going to suggest Margot Haven or Sadie Katherine. But this one was surprisingly tough to choose. I think you do have a lot of great options!

Readers, over to you! What would you suggest for naming their fourth daughter, to go with Ellie, Sam, Ava, and Violet?