Should We Use Our Boy Name for A Daughter?

Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, we discuss reader’s name questions, usually on Tuesdays and Fridays. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.

CHARLES IS OUR BOY NAME, BUT OUR LAST BABY IS A GIRL

Maria writes:

When we were expecting our first baby, we agreed that we would name a son Charles, for my husband’s grandfather, with the middle name Golden. My maiden name is German and means gold/starts with the gold sound. I still love the idea of a little boy called Charlie.

We’ve had two daughters, and now we are pregnant with our third and final baby. It’s another girl. We’ve been saving Charles Golden for a boy, but I think that maybe we should try to use the name for a daughter.

Our girls are:

• Stella Blue – My favorite name for a girl was always Stella. We thought about Blue sort of at the last second because we had Golden for a future son’s middle name, and we met at school where our school colors were gold and blue. We later found out it was a song by the Grateful Dead, and even though the song is kind of sad, it’s pretty and we really love her name.
• Zoe Scarlett – Zoe was another name I’d always liked, and we decided color names were sort of our thing, so we went with Scarlett because we both liked it.

We don’t want to use a P first name because our last name starts with a P. Other than that, we don’t have a lot of rules or even ideas.

Here’s what we’ve talked about so far:

• Goldie Charlotte, Charlotte Golden, Charlie Golden – I like the idea of using both family names still, but I’m not sure about Goldie as a first name, but I’m also not sure if Charlotte is too popular. Lots of people have suggested we just call a girl Charlie, but I’m not sure about that, either.
• Eden, Eloise, or Mila Ivory – This baby is due in July, and it might be fun to have their middle names be red (Scarlett), white (Ivory), and blue (Blue). All first names are names we mostly agree on.
• Iris, Grace, or Sophie Golden – More first names we both mostly like, but just using the same middle name without using Charles/Charlotte.
• Clara, Cate, Callie Golden – Maybe just a C name would work with Golden as her middle name? I do like Chloe, but obviously not with Zoe’s name! Clara has been on our lists since we had Stella.

We’ve also talked about Charlotte as a middle name, and we could mix and match, so Eden Charlotte or Mila Golden or any of the other ones on our list.

Are we crazy to think about using our boy name for our daughter? Should it be Goldie or Charlotte or some other combination? Or is one of the other names on our list better?

I’m torn and just can’t make up my mind. I think my husband is also lukewarm about using Charlie for a girl, so I’ve mostly ruled it out, but maybe we should think about that?

Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.

FAMILY NAMES AND A THEME = LOTS OF DECISIONS

Abby replies:

Congratulations on your new daughter!

This is a bit of a challenge. Charles Golden is your boys’ name, and you’ve chosen your girls’ names with Charlie in mind. Even if Charlie is unisex in theory, it might not feel like the right choice for your family. Based on what you’ve said so far, I’m going to rule out Charlie as a given name entirely.

It sounds like your girls’ name pattern is pretty specific, while also being flexible:

• A first name you love, something contemporary but not too out-there.
• A color-inspired middle, possibly with meaning (Blue) or maybe more to fit the theme (Scarlett).

I think the first decision is whether this pattern matters? Or whether it matters more than honoring your husband’s grandfather? Because it feels like you probably can’t do both.

Sometimes choosing the right name is more about setting your priorities than waiting for a first-middle combination to click.

If your priority is honoring Charles, and Charlie is not an option as a first name, I think your best choices are:

• Charlotte Golden – The most straightforward adaptation of your boy’s name for a daughter. I think there’s a lot of good here. Is Charlotte very popular? Absolutely yes. But a popular name chosen for the right reasons can wear better than another name chosen merely to avoid a Top Ten pick.
• Charlotte Ivory – A little twist on your boy’s name that gives you the red-white-blue connection and the honor name.
• Goldie Charlotte – Maybe a little bolder than your older girls’ names, but I think it works. And while it flips the color/honor name from Charles Golden, it still speaks to your original intention.

If your focus is on keeping a color-inspired middle to match Blue and Scarlett, then you have many more options. A few of my favorites from your list:

• Eden Ivory – Just a lovely name that you both agree on that sounds perfect with sisters Stella and Zoe. Something else I’ll mention here: Iris is also a color name, both a shade of purple-blue and the goddess of the rainbow in Greek mythology. It’s tempted to list Eden Iris as another option.
• Mila Ivory – Same thing here! In fact, since it seems like your strongest agreement is on Eden, Mila, and Eloise, I wonder if those really are your top three after/alongside Charlotte?
• Sophie Golden – All that said, I do think Sophie Golden is a great combination.
• Clara Golden – I do think opting for Clara Golden instead of Charles Golden might be a solid compromise. Some families find a shared initial more than enough to honor a loved one; others think it’s just too slender of a connection. But it’s really up to you. I feel like Clara Golden might be the right balance between “using our boy name for a daughter” and “choosing another girl name we both love.”

The lingering question I haven’t addressed: is using Golden as a nod to your heritage a priority? I’m inclined to think it is, and so I’m favoring combinations that use the middle name Golden over those that use Ivory. Even though, yes, a July baby with a middle name that completes a pattern like that is a sweet idea!

If you decide that honoring grandpa Charles is most important, I’m tempted to suggest Charlotte Golden. It’s worth noting that your Charlotte might come home from third grade and announce she’s Charlie now. But I think Stella, Zoe, and Charlotte are nicely matched.

But what if the color name and/or your family name matters more? I love Eden Ivory or Clara Golden … or even Eden Iris!

In that case, though, I think once you rule out the idea of using Charlotte for this daughter, it might be worth spending some more time with your lists. There are lots of great possibilities here!

Readers, should this couple use their boy name for their daughter? Or is there a better name to go with Stella Blue and Zoe Scarlett?