Naming a Son When Dad Already Has the Best Nickname

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WE CANNOT CALL THE BABY BOB

Julie writes:

My husband is Robert Jr. His dad is Bob. My husband has always been Robbie. He never grew into Rob, and pretty much everyone calls him Robbie, all the time.

We have two daughters, Naomi and Clara. They both have my last name as their middle name, which sounds like Kess-plus-L. Our last name sounds like Bryn-plus-son.

With our girls, we never considered family names. I really didn’t think we would consider naming a son Robert, either. But now that we’re actually expecting a son, and boys’ names are so hard, the idea of naming a son Robert is growing on us both.

But … my husband is Robbie. I do not want to call a baby Bob. And I can’t get into Bobby, either. So that leaves … Robert? Rob?

I floated Robin but I don’t think it would stick.

We do plan to use my last name for all of our kids’ middle names, so we don’t really have the option of making his middle name Robert. (And that wouldn’t solve the whole first name problem anyway.)

I’m not even sure what I’m asking, but is there any way to make this work?

Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.

IF BOB ISN’T AN OPTION, WHAT ELSE MIGHT WORK?

Abby replies:

Congratulations on your new son!

This is a puzzle, isn’t it? In theory, yes, your son could be Robert or Rob all the time, leaving your husband Robbie. In practice? I’m not sure if that would happen.

If the name were William or Michael, I might give a cautious greenlight. That’s because those names are commonly used in full for children born now.

But I feel like a baby Robert might be a stretch.

I think you have a few options:

1. Find a new nickname, even if it’s not a default choice. Besides the obvious Bob/Bobby/Rob/Robbie, I’ve also heard Bert and Bo. I’m really loving the idea of Bo for you. It’s current, fun, and energetic. Is it a stretch? A little. But people will understand when they hear it’s a nickname for a family name. And I’ve heard more than one Robert-called-Bo, so I think at least some people will recognize it. (It’s really just dropping that second B in Bob, isn’t it?)
2. Consider a different middle name. This might be a non-starter, but if your son were named, say, Robert Julian, he could be RJ – if that appeals at all. This works better if your son completes your family. Otherwise, you’d be in a bit of a bind with a second son. (Would he also have the middle name Julian? Or would he share your last name with his sisters? You’d have choices, of course, but it might feel more challenging.)
3. Speaking of middle names, is your husband’s middle an option? You don’t mention what Roberts one and two have as middle names. Could you pass that down? I realize the intent isn’t to find an honor name, but this might be worth considering.
4. Or accept that you’re better off choosing a new name. We’ll brainstorm those below, and I know readers will have some great suggestions, too.

A BROTHER FOR NAOMI and CLARA

EVERETT

Naomi is an Old Testament name; Clara is Latin, by way of Italian. Everett is Old English. I like the way they’re completely distinct, but still go together.

GRAHAM

Graham is one of those names rising in the rankings, even though would ever call it trendy. It’s got a classic vibe, a straightforward style, but it’s interesting, too.

ISAAC

It’s been a popular name for some time, and obviously Isaac’s roots are ancient. I like the way it shares Naomi’s I and Clara’s C.

LEVI

A strong sound with that appealing letter V, Levi sounds great with your surname.

MATTHEW

When you talk about Robert, I wonder if what you’re really drawn to are classic names for boys? There are lots of options, but Matthew is the one that leapt out at me, maybe because so many Matt names, like Mateo, are also having a moment.

MILES

Miles is, like Clara and Naomi, a name that feels both stylish and traditional. I love with your surname, and again, it’s a slightly different origin from your girls’ names, which balances them out nicely.

NATHANIEL

I almost wanted to suggest Gabe or Rafe or another short name, but I ended up with Graham instead. And then I thought of Nathaniel. I like the way it’s long like Naomi, but could easily shorten to Nate. Naomi, Clara, Nate … as long as you don’t mind repeating an initial, I think it works well.

XAVIER

A name with two high value Scrabble letters, but still a traditional vibe? No wonder Xavier has been popular in recent years. I love it for your family, particularly with your surname.

Overall, I’m really torn! I love the idea of Robert called Bo, but I’m not sure it’s my top pick. It does feel like maybe it’s the only name you can agree on right now, and that’s not always the same thing as The Right Name.

Instead, I’m almost inclined to suggest Isaac Robert or Xavier Kess-plus-L. Everett, too, really appeals to me. Naomi, Clara, and Everett Kess-plus-L Bryn-plus-son.

Lastly, I’d be remiss if I didn’t add this: are you sure Bobby wouldn’t grown on you? If you find it objectionable, then naming your son Robert is a potential problem. Because I can easily imagine Bobby being the nickname that sticks – regardless of your preferences.

But if it’s just a general “I can’t see this name on a baby” kind of reaction? It’s worth examining that, too. Sometimes we can’t imagine it until the actual baby arrives, and then everything just clicks into place.

Let’s open this up to the readers! What would you name a brother for Naomi and Clara?