Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, we discuss reader’s name questions, usually on Tuesdays and Fridays. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.
A SIBLING FOR MIRIAM: LONG LISTS, NO FINALISTS
Hanna writes:
We knew our daughter’s name pretty much the minute we started talking about names: Miriam Junia. Her nickname is Mimi, but we’re not really sure what she’ll use once she starts preschool next year. I love that Miriam is classic and not at all trendy, and I like that it works in lots of different languages.
There’s only one thing that surprised us. A lot of people seem to think of Miriam as a religious name. That’s not true for our family at all, but we do like a lot of Hebrew/Old Testament names. I wonder if we should avoid some of these so our kids’ names don’t seem too much like something they’re not?
For that and other reasons, this time I am heading into my seventh month and we are still spinning on the same long list of names.
For a boy, our list is a mix of names we talked about for Miriam, combined with some newer ideas:
- Rafael/Raphael – can’t agree on spelling
- Jeremiah – liked this a lot, but more than one person has mentioned the bullfrog song, is that a problem? Seems weird because my husband and I agree we never made that connection until this name was on our list
- Lucian – I love this name, my husband thinks it’s just okay
- Xavier – Husband loves this name, I think it’s just okay except I really like it as a middle name for the initial X
- Paul – some days I love this, some days less, mostly would rather use Pavel, and I do have Czech and Polish heritage, but it still seems maybe too different
- Emmanuel – we both agree on this name, but this is a good example of a name we like but worry it would be too religious, especially since my due date is around Christmas
- Simon – I like how old-fashioned this name sounds and I really like it with Miriam but same thing, is it too religious?
We didn’t really have any girls’ names besides Miriam, so we’re starting out new here, and I think maybe that’s why this list is so long:
- Lilia – Love the way it sounds, but not sure about how it looks?
- Cecily – Maybe my favorite right now, but worry it will be misheard/misspelled
- Dahlia – husband’s favorite, and I like the old-fashionedness of this name, but I’m not sure about Dolly for short
- Silvia/Sylvia – So pretty, but I really only like it spelled Silvia and my husband really only likes it spelled Syliva
- Esther – another one of those too religious together names that we might otherwise really like
- Arielle – I like this in theory and love all the meanings, but it seems both very religious and too trendy compared to Mimi’s name
- Elodie – but is this too light/French/pretty compared to the more serious energy of Miriam? plus would she end up being another Ellie?
- Camille – completely new to this list just in the last few weeks, husband isn’t sure yet but he often takes time to warm up to new names
- Marguerite – but are we locked into M names if we have a third, and not sure what we would use as a nickname
- Pearl – husband added Pearl when I added Marguerite, and I think he might be right that this is more of what we’re looking for, but is it too short next to Miriam, would we end up calling her Pearlie because I don’t think I like that
- Daphne – I love this name so much, but I agree it’s not great with our last name
- Irene – is this too old-fashioned? it’s a new addition to the list and I think we both like it but also are unsure at the same time
- Olive – maybe? we don’t like Olivia, but I like the sort of serious, strong, but peaceful meaning
Our last name sounds like Cory, but spelled with a K.
Can you help us get through our list? Or have we not found the right name yet?
Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
CHOOSING THE BEST SIBLING NAME FOR MIRIAM
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your new baby, and congrats to Miriam on becoming a big sister!
Naming your second child can be harder. In fact, I’m convinced it’s one of those parenting experiences that gets harder as your family grows.
Miriam Junia sets a high bar. As you’ve rightly noted, the name should balance strength and timelessness with a certain accessible, wearable quality.
The religious question intrigues me. I know two Miriams, both from relatively religious families – but not at all the same faith. I’ve also heard the name short-listed alongside traditional favorites like Beatrice and Eleanor, so it has appeal well beyond specific circles of belief. But I can see that a second religious-leaning name, like Emmanuel, might create a more specific impression.
Let’s look at your existing lists. I think you have so many good options that I’m not sure adding any more is necessary.
A BROTHER FOR MIRIAM
NAMES to RULE OUT: Emmanuel, Paul
As a sibling for Miriam, I would find Emmanuel openly religious, so that’s an obvious cut.
Paul is a little tougher. I love this name’s classic quality. But it seems like maybe you’re not really a fan. It seems like Pavel isn’t an option, and Paul is your reluctant substitute. Another easy name to put aside.
NAMES that MIGHT WORK: Jeremiah, Xavier
The whole “Jeremiah was a bull frog” lyric is probably somewhere between fading trivia question and occasionally annoying or endearing factoid. It’s hard to know in advance. The reference is from a hit 1970 song. If you find it bothers you now, I’d probably put it aside.
Xavier gives me pause. I think it’s great, and truly perfect with Miriam. Is it potentially religious? As a heavy-hitting Catholic saint’s name, sure. But it’s a slightly different flavor of religious from Miriam and I think that’s a bonus. So I wanted to keep it on the list … but I’m wondering if it’s the absolute perfect middle name that sparks up any first?
STRONGEST CANDIDATES: Rafael/Raphael, Lucian, Simon
When it comes to spelling, I often suggest parents opt for the dominant version. In this case, that’s Rafael. But both are rising in use. If you have a strong case to make for the PH Raphael, I don’t see any harm in sticking with that version. But I’m going to suggest Rafael as a top choice.
Lucian, too, seems to check every box. There’s also the advantage that it doesn’t strike me as religious in any way. Your husband’s lack of enthusiasm is noted. Would combining Lucian with the middle name Xavier change that at all?
Lastly, I do think Simon might be top of my list. I don’t hear it as particularly religious, though I concede that it’s possible others will. I tend to hear Simon as British (Simon Pegg, Simon Cowell), but also smart and traditional and heard steadily over the years. In fact, the name is nicely international, changing little across much of Europe. With no spelling problems and an intelligent, traditional vibe, Simon seems like a logical choice.
A SISTER FOR MIRIAM
Your list of girls’ names is longer in terms of options, but also somehow broader. Names like Lilia and Arielle read lighter and more modern, while Esther and Marguerite strike me as heavier and firmly grounded in the past. There’s short, antique Pearl, but also elaborate newcomer Elodie.
It’s hard to say if we should focus on leaning into a particular style or trying to find the middle ground.
NAMES to RULE OUT: Lilia, Arielle, Marguerite
I think your instincts that Arielle feels a little trendier and Lilia a little more confusing are right. Both names are gorgeous, with meanings and history of their own. But somehow they don’t sound like a sister for Miriam.
Marguerite does feel like it’s a solid match. And it’s a personal favorite of mine. But it’s also very unusual by 21st century standards. It’s a little on the heavy side, and since you’re somewhat uncertain about nicknames, I feel like Marguerite might be unsatisfying, at least as a first name. Also you’ve noted that you might end up feeling locked into M names should you have a third child, and I think that’s a good enough reason to drop Marguerite as a sibling for Miriam.
NAMES that MIGHT WORK: Cecily, Silvia/Sylvie, Elodie, Pearl, Daphne, Irene
Cecily, Pearl, and Irene all feel like nicely old-fashioned choices, just right as a sibling for Miriam. But Cecily is relatively uncommon. Pearl seems so brief, and I hear your concerns about nicknames. While Irene has potential, and I think it’s great on a child, I do think it sounds a little repetitive in the company of Miriam. Maybe it’s that double IR?
Daphne and Elodie are current favorites, both with a mix of old-fashioned charm and 21st century appeal. But I suspect that, like Arielle, that might be perceived as trending, and that’s something you’ve sidestepped with your firstborn’s name.
STRONGEST CANDIDATES: Esther, Dahlia, Camille, Olive
Esther could be absolutely perfect. I do hear you, though – even though Esther was a late 19th century/early 20th century style star, it might read religious by 2020s standards. After all, both Miriam and Esther are significant, heroic women in Judaism. And yet, I hate to rule it out, because I think I hear it more as a successor to Eleanor and Lydia than a religious choice.
Dahlia has a lacy, antique style that is very different from Miriam. And yet, nicknames Mimi and Dolly are equally sweet and spirited. As a bonus, when I hear those names together, I immediately get a strong antique revival vibe, which is what you’re after, right?
I might’ve put Olive at the very top of the list for the same reasons as Dahlia, with a bonus that it’s a little on the more severe in terms of sound. But I’m not clear if you’re enthusiastic about Olive or not?
That brings me to Camille. It leapt out at me immediately. Like Dahlia and Olive, it reinforces your preference for long-standing, vintage favorites. It’s very similar to Miriam in terms of popularity in the US today. And there’s a legendary heroine by the name, just like Miriam – except Camille comes out of Virgil’s Aeneid. I think it checks every box. As for nicknames, Millie is very close to Mimi, but probably works given that you tend to use your girls’ names in full. Cam is another possibility, and Mila might be my favorite of them all.
TOP SUGGESTIONS TO MATCH MIRIAM
My two favorite combinations for a boy are Simon Jeremiah or Lucian Xavier, with honorable mention to Rafael if you can agree on a spelling. Rafael Xavier, maybe?
I’m drawn to Camille Silvia for a daughter. Or even Camille Sylvie. I think you could almost flip a coin! I like the way Junia and Silvia are very similar middles in terms of origins and style. Something like Dahlia Pearl appeals, too, though I wonder if it’s a bit too soft as a sister for Miriam. That brings me to Esther Cecile. If you’d shorten Cecily by just one syllable, I think you’d have a perfect middle name.
In fact, I’m tempted to suggest Cecile as a first. Miriam and Cecile; Miriam Junia and Cecile Marguerite, maybe? Mimi and Cece for short.
