Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, we discuss reader’s name questions, usually on Tuesdays and Fridays. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.
FALLING FOR MY FRUMPY MIDDLE NAME
Sarah writes:
My name is Sarah Ethel. Growing up, I hated my frumpy, granny middle name and always kept it quiet, wishing I was Sarah Elizabeth like everyone else.
Ethel is a family name. My great-great-grandmother was named Ethel. Her daughter, my great-grandmother, was Ethel Rose, called Rosie. My grandmother, mother, and me all have the middle name Ethel.
If you’d asked me even a few years ago, I would’ve told you there was no way I’d give the name to a future daughter. But now I’m expecting a daughter in June and not only am I serious about continuing the tradition, I’m debating whether or not to use Ethel for our daughter’s first name.
These are my reasons:
- Lots of old-fashioned names are back. We know young children named Miriam, Ruth, Lily, Silas, and Arthur.
- We could use a nickname. I thought about Ettie originally, but now I’m warming up to the sound of Ellie.
- Our daughter will have my husband’s last name, so this is my chance to add my family history.
- She’d be the sixth Ethel, and I think that’s really special.
We have talked about other names. My husband likes Sadie and we both agree on Adeline/Addie, but I don’t like all the different ways to spell it. I’ve spent years being Sarah-with-an-H.
I think the biggest thing holding me back is a feeling that my daughter would hate her name. After all, I didn’t like Ethel as my middle name, so what am I doing using it as a first name now?
If I need to be talked out of Ethel, could you suggest some first names that would go with Ethel as a middle name?
Our last name sounds like Heart-plus-man, so probably no H names, but I think we’re open to anything else.
Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
A TRADITION YOU WANT TO CONTINUE
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your new daughter!
This is a fascinating question. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a woman’s name handed down so consistently across generations, so I share your sense that it’s something to embrace.
But there is a lot to consider here!
Let’s start with your family name Ethel.
- At the turn of the 20th century, Ethel ranked in the US Top Ten. It was the Ava or Harper of its time. In fact, Ethel remained in the Top 100 through the 1930s.
- It’s not back … yet. While conventional wisdom suggests that most old school names do come back again, Ethel hasn’t ranked in the Top 1000 since the 1970s, and was given to just 27 girls in 2024. That’s pretty close to extinction.
- Downton Abbey gave us a character called Ethel. She’s a housemaid featured in the early seasons. Cora, Violet, Marigold, and more names have been boosted by the series. Ethel isn’t among them.
- And yet, Ethel has risen ever-so-slightly in England & Wales. British parents are often slightly ahead of Americans when it comes to reviving antique favorites. Florence, Matilda, and Harriet are Top 100 picks right now.
But possibly the biggest thing that comes to mind? We routinely hand down masculine family names without regard to style. In turn, that means that more boys’ names read as classic and timeless.
All of this makes me think that Ethel would be somewhat startling – the kind of choice that announces “I’m an old family name.”
But that’s the point, right? At a minimum, this is your daughter’s middle name. So your choice really is between Ethel “Ellie” Middle or First Ethel.
So let’s look at possible first names inspired by Sadie and Adeline.
A FIRST NAME TO PAIR WITH FAMILY NAME ETHEL
ADELAIDE
An alternative to Adeline with just one spelling.
AMELIA
Popular, yes, but a sweetly vintage name that’s back in a big way.
ELIZA
Another old school choice with a modern, vivid sound.
JOSEPHINE, JOSIE
Another Adeline/Addie alternative.
LUCY
As brief as Sadie, but perhaps a little more complete.
ROSALIE, ROSE
If there was an Ethel Rose called Rosie in your family tree, would you consider Rosalie? Or even just Rose? They’re impeccably vintage choices, but feel a little more current that your family name Ethel.
SYLVIE
The French equivalent of Sylvia. Less expected than Sadie, but quite appealing.
ZOE
Another name with history to spare, but a very 21st century sensibility.
A MIDDLE NAME FOR FAMILY NAME ETHEL
ADELAIDE, JOSEPHINE, or ROSEMARY
You might lean into the elaborate, antique vibe with a full name like Ethel Rosemary.
BLAIR, HADLEY, or PARKER
A strong, surname sounding middle might add some polish to your daughter’s name. Ethel Parker Heart-plus-man sounds like a benefactor of the arts. Ethel Hadley Heart-plus-man strikes me as a novelist.
ELEANOR, ELIZABETH, or ELOISE
Possibly my favorite choice: Ethel Eleanor called Ellie can get to he nickname from her first or middle name.
RIVER, SAGE, or VALE
Or maybe something to contrast strongly with Ethel would appeal, like a modern word name? I love the sound of Ethel Vale, but there are lots of names in this category.
One last consideration: do you have other favorite names for possible future children? It sounds like you’re genuinely drawn to old school names, which makes me think Ethel “Ellie” would have a sibling called Henry or Frances. If that’s the case, then I think Ethel as a first name is even more compelling.
I do think you should be ready for others to be surprised by your daughter’s name. Not necessarily in a bad way. The strength of Ethel? Everyone knows it. But I imagine you’ll get a lot of “wow, that’s not a name you hear a lot these days” kind of reactions. Which could be fun, actually – if you’re comfortable talking about it.
That caution aside, I’m most drawn to something like Ethel Eloise. It gives your daughter two reasons to use the nickname Ellie, and that feels like a nice back-up option.
If you end up deciding Ethel is best in the middle, I love the idea of Rose Ethel – just switching two family names – or even better, Rosalie Ethel.
Congratulations on baby girl coming in June!
I actually think the same Ethel is adorable. It’s one that grows on you and hearing it on a little toddler would be delicious! I also love the special history for your family.
My middle name is Marie (like so many in my generation) but it’s also the middle name of my 5 aunts (who are all sisters) and I gave one of my daughters a name is resembles Marie. My point is – it’s special to have a generational name.
I really like both options of Ethel as a first or middle. I absolutely think she could go by a nickname of Ellie (last two letters of Ethel being EL, but also too if you added a middle name starting with El..though I don’t think it’s necessary if you have a different name you love for a middle). I also think the nickname of Etta could be really sweet.
Etta (Ethel) Rose Heart plus man
Etta (Ethel) Sadie Heart plus man (Sadie is a short form of Sarah)
Ellie (Ethel) Eloise Heart plus man
Ellie (Ethel) Adeline Heart plus man
A couple other middle spot names that might flow nicely with Ethel/Ellie/Etta:
Celeste, Iris, Alice, Ivy, Elizabeth
Ethel Celeste
Ethel Iris
Ethel Alice
Ethel Ivy
Ethel Elizabeth
Good luck and enjoy your pregnancy! Love the name Ethel 🙂
Ethel Adeline seems perfect! Nn Ellie works well in general or if she has mixed feelings. If you are open to it, switching to the middle name works if she has doubts (like you did), but I’m not sure she will.
There are so many vintage and foreign names now no one else will be shocked. I put Ethel in the same group as Harriet, Edith, Beatrice, Mary, Esther, and yes Adeline. Our school is very international so names are often unfamiliar with tricky pronunciations. Ethel may actually seem unique but mainstream in comparison. The person with the most mixed feelings may be you based on your history with the name.
For her peers, she will likely define how they see Ethel. This generation is so open to new names, teasing isn’t what it used to be nor is the urge to conform. My kid came home from kindergarten and said her new friend was called “Cannonball”. I questioned if that was a real name and her reply was a simple but quite firm “yes, Mom, and she is really nice.” Her name was Kennedy but my daughter called her – lovingly – Cannonball for about a month.
You have a solid name, given with love, and good back up plans. You’re set!
P.s. I love the idea of her potential future sister being Sadie!
I don’t think I’ve ever met a real-life Ethel, but speaking as a teacher, it wouldn’t feel out of place on one of my class lists. It fits right in with Estelle and Alice. The family history is so cool!
I love Abby’s suggestion to use Ethel with a middle name that also gives you “Ellie” as a nickname. Ethel Elizabeth, Ethel Elise, Ethel Elaine, and Ethel Eline all sound great to me.
Adelaide and Sadie would both work well as a first name with Ethel in the middle spot, but they would also be great for a sister, if you’re considering having more children in the future.
One more possibility: Ethel paired with a middle name that starts with “Vi-” as a subtle nod to the Roman numeral VI, reflecting her position as the sixth generation to bear the name.
Ethel Violette
Ethel Vivienne
Ethel Victoria
Ethel Virginia
Ethel Vida
What would you think of Sarah Ethel called Sadie? Or Sally or Ellie? Mary Ethel called Maisie or Meryl. Bethany Ethel. Susannah Ethel (Sukie). Ethel Rosalie. Ethel Susannah (Elsie or Elsa). Lethe is an anagram of Ethel, although there would be some irony in given it as an honor name when it’s associated with forgetting.
I think a middle name gives her different nickname options if, growing up, she dislikes her name. Ethel Adelaide can be Edie, for example. If she wants a more modern vibe then a modern middle name like River gives her the option
Love that you are keeping the legacy going! I like the idea of boldly using Ethel up front.
Ethel Lavender
Ethel Alexandra
Ethel Xiomara
Ethel Evangeline
I also like the idea of saving Sadie for a future sibling. Ethel and Sadie are such a cute sibset.
My daughter actually goes to high school with an Ethel who goes by Ettie. It doesn’t seem to faze any of the kids. I love the name because I’ve always loved Lucy and Ethel from the TV show I Love Lucy.
You have lots of great options here. Personally, I think Ethel Rose is fantastic after your great-grandmother, especially if you feel a connection to her. But Ethel Adeline, Ethel Eloise, and Ethel Elowen are also wonderful. If you can, please let us know what you choose.
DO not name your daughter ethel, Josephine is a great alternative.
I love what a thoughtful mother you are! “After all, I didn’t like Ethel as my middle name, so what am I doing using it as a first name now?”
You realize now what you did not appreciate then: you are a part of a legacy; you belong. That’s a beautiful sentiment and gift you want to give your daughter! If she doesn’t appreciate her gift in childhood, it’s reasonable to imagine she will in adulthood… because YOU did.
Use Ethel (and use Sadie for another daughter, so she won’t feel left out of the heritage). It’s awesome your husband is so supportive! Plenty of women are not supportive of a “junior” son.
As someone who broke a fourth-generation middle name pattern, my advice is to not break the pattern. My oldest daughter deeply resents that she didn’t get to be a part of the club and is reinstating the family middle name for her own daughter.
Congratulations and best wishes!