Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, we discuss reader’s name questions, usually on Tuesdays and Fridays. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.
FALLING FOR MY FRUMPY MIDDLE NAME
Sarah writes:
My name is Sarah Ethel. Growing up, I hated my frumpy, granny middle name and always kept it quiet, wishing I was Sarah Elizabeth like everyone else.
Ethel is a family name. My great-great-grandmother was named Ethel. Her daughter, my great-grandmother, was Ethel Rose, called Rosie. My grandmother, mother, and me all have the middle name Ethel.
If you’d asked me even a few years ago, I would’ve told you there was no way I’d give the name to a future daughter. But now I’m expecting a daughter in June and not only am I serious about continuing the tradition, I’m debating whether or not to use Ethel for our daughter’s first name.
These are my reasons:
- Lots of old-fashioned names are back. We know young children named Miriam, Ruth, Lily, Silas, and Arthur.
- We could use a nickname. I thought about Ettie originally, but now I’m warming up to the sound of Ellie.
- Our daughter will have my husband’s last name, so this is my chance to add my family history.
- She’d be the sixth Ethel, and I think that’s really special.
We have talked about other names. My husband likes Sadie and we both agree on Adeline/Addie, but I don’t like all the different ways to spell it. I’ve spent years being Sarah-with-an-H.
I think the biggest thing holding me back is a feeling that my daughter would hate her name. After all, I didn’t like Ethel as my middle name, so what am I doing using it as a first name now?
If I need to be talked out of Ethel, could you suggest some first names that would go with Ethel as a middle name?
Our last name sounds like Heart-plus-man, so probably no H names, but I think we’re open to anything else.
Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
A TRADITION YOU WANT TO CONTINUE
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your new daughter!
This is a fascinating question. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a woman’s name handed down so consistently across generations, so I share your sense that it’s something to embrace.
But there is a lot to consider here!
Let’s start with your family name Ethel.
- At the turn of the 20th century, Ethel ranked in the US Top Ten. It was the Ava or Harper of its time. In fact, Ethel remained in the Top 100 through the 1930s.
- It’s not back … yet. While conventional wisdom suggests that most old school names do come back again, Ethel hasn’t ranked in the Top 1000 since the 1970s, and was given to just 27 girls in 2024. That’s pretty close to extinction.
- Downton Abbey gave us a character called Ethel. She’s a housemaid featured in the early seasons. Cora, Violet, Marigold, and more names have been boosted by the series. Ethel isn’t among them.
- And yet, Ethel has risen ever-so-slightly in England & Wales. British parents are often slightly ahead of Americans when it comes to reviving antique favorites. Florence, Matilda, and Harriet are Top 100 picks right now.
But possibly the biggest thing that comes to mind? We routinely hand down masculine family names without regard to style. In turn, that means that more boys’ names read as classic and timeless.
All of this makes me think that Ethel would be somewhat startling – the kind of choice that announces “I’m an old family name.”
But that’s the point, right? At a minimum, this is your daughter’s middle name. So your choice really is between Ethel “Ellie” Middle or First Ethel.
So let’s look at possible first names inspired by Sadie and Adeline.
A FIRST NAME TO PAIR WITH FAMILY NAME ETHEL
ADELAIDE
An alternative to Adeline with just one spelling.
AMELIA
Popular, yes, but a sweetly vintage name that’s back in a big way.
ELIZA
Another old school choice with a modern, vivid sound.
JOSEPHINE, JOSIE
Another Adeline/Addie alternative.
LUCY
As brief as Sadie, but perhaps a little more complete.
ROSALIE, ROSE
If there was an Ethel Rose called Rosie in your family tree, would you consider Rosalie? Or even just Rose? They’re impeccably vintage choices, but feel a little more current that your family name Ethel.
SYLVIE
The French equivalent of Sylvia. Less expected than Sadie, but quite appealing.
ZOE
Another name with history to spare, but a very 21st century sensibility.
A MIDDLE NAME FOR FAMILY NAME ETHEL
ADELAIDE, JOSEPHINE, or ROSEMARY
You might lean into the elaborate, antique vibe with a full name like Ethel Rosemary.
BLAIR, HADLEY, or PARKER
A strong, surname sounding middle might add some polish to your daughter’s name. Ethel Parker Heart-plus-man sounds like a benefactor of the arts. Ethel Hadley Heart-plus-man strikes me as a novelist.
ELEANOR, ELIZABETH, or ELOISE
Possibly my favorite choice: Ethel Eleanor called Ellie can get to he nickname from her first or middle name.
RIVER, SAGE, or VALE
Or maybe something to contrast strongly with Ethel would appeal, like a modern word name? I love the sound of Ethel Vale, but there are lots of names in this category.
One last consideration: do you have other favorite names for possible future children? It sounds like you’re genuinely drawn to old school names, which makes me think Ethel “Ellie” would have a sibling called Henry or Frances. If that’s the case, then I think Ethel as a first name is even more compelling.
I do think you should be ready for others to be surprised by your daughter’s name. Not necessarily in a bad way. The strength of Ethel? Everyone knows it. But I imagine you’ll get a lot of “wow, that’s not a name you hear a lot these days” kind of reactions. Which could be fun, actually – if you’re comfortable talking about it.
That caution aside, I’m most drawn to something like Ethel Eloise. It gives your daughter two reasons to use the nickname Ellie, and that feels like a nice back-up option.
If you end up deciding Ethel is best in the middle, I love the idea of Rose Ethel – just switching two family names – or even better, Rosalie Ethel.
I love a good name tradition, especially honouring the maternal line! Ethels needs to be in there 100%!
My vote is Sadie Ethel, as it seems like such a neat connection to you (nickname for Sarah and same middle.)
I do love outdated frumpy names but I keep saying it and thinking about it (it feels pretty awkward to say)… and it doesn’t pass my ‘would I want to wear this name my whole life?’ test. You yourself said you hid that it was your middle name until recently. If you’re serious about it, I’d put your newfound fandom to the test and go out and use it on the daily for a few days and see how you feel.
I see you have a lot of support, so take my two cents as just that, and honestly my only association with the name is I Love Lucy’s BFF (not a bad connotation but I know many Lucys these days but no Ethels) and Ethel Muggs from Riverdale / Archie Comics, who isn’t the most.. positive character. It feels like pop culture uses the name for annoying side characters…. just want to give you this perspective.
I know using Ellie would make it more modern, but why choose a unique name and then call her by an uber-popular nickname? Ettie is super cute, or you could Telly – which feels like a British / throwback.
When I saw the title of this post, I audibly gasped! The idea of a little baby Ethel is absolutely adorable. Ethel has always been one of my quietly-on-the-list names. It reads to me very sweet and gently vintage. And since it’s such a special family name, with a common nickname, I’d say 100% go for it!
You might get some weird looks at first. It’s definitely not a name in the mainstream (yet). But a baby with the name will make it feel fresh and new. It reminds me of Estelle and Evelyn and Eleanor and Beth. And it wouldn’t surprise me if a few years and celebrity baby down the line, you have to explain that your Ethel was the original. Already, singer Ethel Cain is giving it a sort of elegant, southern-gothic vibe.
If you plan on having other kids, I love Ellie and Sadie together, and Sadie comes from your name, so they’d both be named after you! If you decide against Ethel as a first, Sadie Ethel is a great honor name for Sarah Ethel. Best of luck!
I know an adorable little Ethel! Her mom gets tons of compliments on her name. I think it’s old school cool for sure 🙂 Ellie and Ettie are both cute nicknames that bring it back to the familiar. Ethel Adeline (nn Ellie) strikes me as a name that simultaneously fits in and stands out. If she really hates Ethel, she can go by her nickname, but the reasons you hated it have already changed and might not even be relevant for her.
6 generations of Ethel is really cool! I love the idea of calling her Ellie for short. I think using a modern nickname is a really smart way to go about using such an unexpected, older name. I think whether you use it as the first or middle comes down to what you and your husband agree on or maybe you wait until you meet her to see what fits her best.
From your current list, I think Sadie Ethel is absolutely darling.
As another suggestion, I know you said no H names but I think Hallie Ethel Heart-man is very sweet and the alliteration feels fun and memorable. The repeating vowels in something like Ethel Adelaide or Ethel Adaline feel just right together.
From Abby’s suggestions, I think Ethel Parker or Ethel Hadley feel very smart and polished but Ethel Eliza or Ethel Eloise are really fun and sparky.
There are so many great options, you really can’t go wrong! But yes, please use Ethel somewhere in her name. Congrats and happy naming!
Well said, A – and I agree that something like Hallie has potential …
Oh please name her Adeline Ethel!
Adeline is related to Ethel! (They both come from the germanic word for noble, check Behind the Name)
So Adeline Ethel nn Addie is a double honor to all of these women, while using the parents’ favorite name and nickname!
The only Ethel I’ve ever known personally was a college classmate, so I don’t necessarily think of it as an old name. The Ethel I know was attractive, smart, nice, and seems to have done quite well for herself. I would use the name and call her Ellie. Other kids won’t see it as unusual at all.
Thanks, Andrea! That’s such a positive take on Ethel.