Compromise Needed: Strong, Modern Boy Names

Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.

QUINCY versus CREW

Jordan writes:

Our son will be here in another two weeks and we have hit a wall when it comes to agreeing on a name.

My favorite is Quincy. His favorite is Crew. Yes, we’ve already thought about Quinn, but we have good friends with a daughter named Quinn. Even if we were okay with them having the same name, I would rather not have a unisex name. (I went through a “JordanMarie” phase because I didn’t like being called “girlJordan” in fifth grade, when there was a boy Jordan in my class.)

Our last name sounds like Buy-ler, so names like Parker and Hunter, that we both like, don’t work.

More names that we have discussed in the last few weeks:

• Saxon – my husband likes, but the White Lotus character puts me off this name
• Jack – we both like it, but it feels like it’s too popular
• Luke/Luca – I like Luca, he only likes Luke
• Wyatt – we both agree on this name, but I don’t like the way it sounds with Buy-ler
• Lincoln – I liked it before we were pregnant, but now I’m kind of meh about it, but my husband likes it more than he did before
• Cassian – We’re not into Star Wars, but I love the way this name sounds, and we could call him Cash, which my husband really likes (because Johnny Cash)

For middle names, we’d like to use either Gregory or maybe just Greg/Gregg for my father-in-law, depending on what sounds better.

My husband thinks we can wait to meet him and see what he looks like, but I’m worried we won’t be able to make a decision then, either.

Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.

STRONG and CURRENT BOY NAMES

Abby replies:

Congratulations on your new son!

Here’s what I’m hearing:

• You both prefer current names. I’d call them modern traditionals. Names like Wyatt and Lincoln weren’t common 100 years ago, but they weren’t unknown. We’re not reaching into the depths of history and literature for names like Cedric or Oberon. And we’re not inventing anything too novel, like Cedar or Cerulean.
• You agree to avoid unisex names. On a practical level, this is challenging – a great many names are used in small numbers across gender lines. But we can certainly avoid the most common crossover choices. And if that’s a concern, then yes, Quinn is out.
• Matching your surname matters. Of course it does! But it rules out anything with an -R ending or a strong long-I sound.
• You’re looking for strength. But I think this is where I hear some disagreement. Quincy is a little softer than Crew. Luca is a little softer than Luke. I do think there’s plenty of room for compromise here, though – Wyatt is a great example, as is Cassian called Cash.

With those considerations in mind, let’s rank your current list.

REVIEWING YOUR SHORT LIST

It sounds like you’ve done a good job finding some new possibilities.

• Let’s rule out Wyatt, because I agree – it’s the perfect name, but not great with Buy-ler.
• It feels like you’d be in a perpetual tug-of-war over Luke/Luca, so again, let’s cross that one off the list.
• I’m also going to drop Saxon and Lincoln. It sounds like they’re close but not quite right for various reasons.

That leaves two names:

JACK GREGORY and CASSIAN GREGG

Jack is great! Is it popular? Yes. Jack has never left the US Top 200, and has ranked in the US Top 100 since 1996. As of 2023, it stands at #14. That’s without considering the popularity of Jackson, and the boys named John, but called Jack, of which there plenty.

But are you ruling out Jack because avoiding a popular name is important to you? Because you personally know a Jack or two? Or is it a vague sense that using a popular name is a problem?

Because I think Jack Gregory Buy-ler is perfect. And if you both really like it? I’m guessing it won’t bother you at all when you meet another Jack.

On the other hand, if you agree that popularity is a concern, then I think Cassian-called-Cash is the perfect option. While It’s on parents radar thanks to Star Wars, I don’t think it reads too superfan. Cash has been around for years, a Top 1000 name since 2003. But it still ranks just #288. And Cassian is climbing quickly, but still comes in at #533. I think that’s a good stands-out/fits-in kind of choice. Again, Cassian Gregg Buy-ler is a great name, and Cash Buy-ler sounds like a star pitcher just recruited by a major league baseball team. It’s a cool, confident name – just like Jack.

MORE STRONG, MODERN BOY NAMES

Let’s see if we can come up with a few more options inspired by Crew, Jack, Lincoln, Luca, Luke, Quincy, Saxon, and Wyatt.

DYLAN

There’s a softness and a strength to Dylan, too. It’s occasionally unisex, but after many years in the boys’ Top 100 feels solidly established as masculine. If Johnny Cash appeals, would Bob Dylan also make a great namesake?

GRAYSON

Grayson has been steadily popular for years. It’s a little like Mason and all those long-A names that have been so popular forever. But it’s never reached chart-topping Liam/Noah levels, and I like the way Grayson is a strong, masculine sound, but Gray is a soft, gentle color.

JUDE

Jack meets Luke and Crew. If you’re set on a single-syllable name, I can’t think of a better suggestion.

LAWSON

Another two-syllable name with a certain amount of swagger. It’s midway between preppy, polished Saxon and Western Wyatt.

REID

An established surname-as-first, Reid feels familiar but not too popular.

RHODES

A newer name, but one that fits nicely with names like Crew and Lincoln, too.

TATE

Cheerful and upbeat, with a strong, independent sound.

TRUETT

Some of the best ends-with-TT names for boys don’t work well with Buy-ler. (Beckett and Bennett, alas, are out.) But how about Truett? Like Cassian, it has a really cool nickname: True. And it feels a little bit like polished Saxon, but maybe a little more like home-on-the-range Wyatt.

Overall, I really like Jude as a name that checks all the same boxes as Jack and Crew, but sidesteps some of your concerns about popularity. Jude Gregory is great.

But I’m going to put Dylan in second place. Either Dylan Gregg or Dylan Gregory works. I think it’s a good mix of Quincy and Saxon and Lincoln, with the rock history angle. (Any chance the relationship between Dylan and Cash in A Complete Unknown would move your husband? I’m hearing “track some mud on the carpet” in my head as I think about this …)

Let’s open this to the readers, because I know they’ll have some great suggestions. What would you suggest as a compromise between Quincy and Crew?