Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, we discuss reader’s name questions, usually on Tuesdays and Fridays. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.
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ELIANA OR ELAINA?
Lauren writes:
We are expecting our first child, a girl, in April. I love the name Eliana. My husband prefers Elaina. I think the spelling of Elaina is confusing, but he says that we could call her Lainey, which I love.
I know it feels like they’re almost the same name, but we keep going around in circles and really can’t agree on either name. Sometimes I think I should just give in because of that reason.
Except I really do like Eliana better than Elaina!
Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
DECIDING BETWEEN TWO SIMILAR NAMES
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your daughter!
This is a tough one – you’re in love with the exact same six letters, but the vowels are switched. The worst case scenario? Someone will be disappointed.
And while there’s no wrong decision, it’s also hard to think through what makes the two names different.
I’m going to suggest a few things to consider, in hopes of getting to an agreement. These are all in the logical discussion category … but I have an if-logic-fails suggestion at the end.
NICKNAME
The first thing that leapt out at me: the nickname Lainey.
Eliana and Elaina are very similar names. But Eliana and Lainey? They’re quite different. I wonder if comparing those two names makes things clearer?
Eliana can be shortened, too, of course – Ellie is the obvious choice, but not the only one.
MIDDLE NAME
Is there one you plan to use? Does it pair better with Eliana or Elaina?
OVERALL NAME FLOW
If your last name is, say, Smith, this might not help. But does three-syllable Eliana flow better with your last name than two-syllable Elaina, or vice versa? Does the middle name change things? How about the nickname Lainey?
POPULARITY CONSIDERATIONS
This is really tricky, because there are lots of potential spellings for both Eliana and Elaina.
But on paper, Eliana alone is a Top 20 name. Adding in Elianna, Elliana, and Ellianna probably pushes it close to the Top Ten, if not solidly within that elite category.
Elaina hovers around the 250 mark, while Elena ranks within the Top 50. Alaina is familiar, too. Overall, Elaina is probably slightly less common than Eliana.
But it might not be enough to make a difference, especially because nickname Lainey ranks in the current US Top 50, too. Elena + Lainey + Elaina … would probably be similar to Eliana.
And the names sound so similar I’m not sure if this factor helps.
MEANING
While different spellings and other factors apply, these are the meanings I’d list as most strongly association with both names:
- Elaina is ultimately a form of Helen, meaning torch
- Eliana comes from a Hebrew name meaning “my God has answered,” or possibly a Roman family name related to the sun god Helios
That’s not significantly different, but perhaps it helps.
IF ALL ELSE FAILS …
May I humbly suggest flipping a coin?
The coin flip is non-binding. It’s a thought experiment. Heads she’s Eliana, tails she’s Elaina. Flip the coin and see how you both feel with the outcome.
- Sometimes a coin flip provides the relief of deciding.
- Sometimes we feel resignation – it’s the only fair way, even if our side doesn’t prevail.
- At other times, we experience a real grief and disappointment that lingers.
The worst case: you’re thrilled and he’s not. Or vice versa. But that’s real information. It helps clarify just how much you’re both invested in the choice.
But in case one of you is really upset by the coin flip outcome?
I’ll suggest one more option: find an entirely different name.
Imagine you cannot use Eliana or Elaina for this daughter. Or pretend you’re naming her sister. Start with a blank slate and try to brainstorm a new name.
Because you might be better off agreeing on a name you’d rate 4 out of 5 stars than insisting one of you get their 5-star name.
Oh my goodness! This could not appear at a more pertinent time! My son is IVF conceived and is named Jonas. We were very hooked on the symbolic nature of his name, but also love the length too from my perspective as a kindergarten teacher. We’ve lost two babies – Bennett and Abigail. If we had another boy he’d be Ronan for the Irish folklores and also because it’s close to Ronen in Hebrew “joyful song.” Another would be Camila “Helper in the temple.” I have looked at Elena and Eliana over and over again, Eliana feels like the obvious choice because it too has the biblical meaning. But also feel like it’s just so long! So I’m getting paralysis by analysis. We don’t live in the US but Australia where both names aren’t in the top 50 yet and she would be nicknamed Ellie. Middle names we’ve tossed around are Merryn Magnolia or Mariel Magnolia. Was hoping this article would help me work out which would be best to mentally bring with me to my next IVF transfer.
Oh gosh – first, thinking of you! Second, thank you for sharing your dilemma. They’re both such great names, but I wonder if the meaning/roots of Eliana doesn’t help in your case? Visually, though, I see the appeal of Jonas/Elena. And I love Elena Mariel Magnolia so much …
Eliana can also be Lainey if you’re open to a stretch! Imo any name with an L & N can be Lainey for short
Such a good point, X – thank you!!
Congratulations on baby girl coming soon!
Okay..I love thinking of names and giving name advice..however..I think it matters less which name everyone else things is nicer. Some people will think Eliana, some will think Elaina and some will say neither! This is true for ANY name btw since everyone has their own unique taste.
Would either name be a regret for either you or your husband? Does your husband only like Elaina for the nickname potential of Lainey – in which case could either Eliana just be called Lainey by him, OR could you name a middle name something like “Delaney, Adelaine, Helena, Laine, Lainey..etc”
Eliana Lainey?
Eliana Adelaine?
Also I find the fact that the two names you have come to are the same letters just mixed up. So..got me thinking about other options should you ever wave the white flag on Eliana/Elaina.
Linnea
Laine
Lilliane
Eleni
Neila
Annelie
Anella
In the end I really do think both names are lovely and either would be very pretty picks for a new baby girl :).