Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, we discuss reader’s name questions, usually on Tuesdays and Fridays. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.
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ELIANA OR ELAINA?
Lauren writes:
We are expecting our first child, a girl, in April. I love the name Eliana. My husband prefers Elaina. I think the spelling of Elaina is confusing, but he says that we could call her Lainey, which I love.
I know it feels like they’re almost the same name, but we keep going around in circles and really can’t agree on either name. Sometimes I think I should just give in because of that reason.
Except I really do like Eliana better than Elaina!
Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
DECIDING BETWEEN TWO SIMILAR NAMES
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your daughter!
This is a tough one – you’re in love with the exact same six letters, but the vowels are switched. The worst case scenario? Someone will be disappointed.
And while there’s no wrong decision, it’s also hard to think through what makes the two names different.
I’m going to suggest a few things to consider, in hopes of getting to an agreement. These are all in the logical discussion category … but I have an if-logic-fails suggestion at the end.
NICKNAME
The first thing that leapt out at me: the nickname Lainey.
Eliana and Elaina are very similar names. But Eliana and Lainey? They’re quite different. I wonder if comparing those two names makes things clearer?
Eliana can be shortened, too, of course – Ellie is the obvious choice, but not the only one.
MIDDLE NAME
Is there one you plan to use? Does it pair better with Eliana or Elaina?
OVERALL NAME FLOW
If your last name is, say, Smith, this might not help. But does three-syllable Eliana flow better with your last name than two-syllable Elaina, or vice versa? Does the middle name change things? How about the nickname Lainey?
POPULARITY CONSIDERATIONS
This is really tricky, because there are lots of potential spellings for both Eliana and Elaina.
But on paper, Eliana alone is a Top 20 name. Adding in Elianna, Elliana, and Ellianna probably pushes it close to the Top Ten, if not solidly within that elite category.
Elaina hovers around the 250 mark, while Elena ranks within the Top 50. Alaina is familiar, too. Overall, Elaina is probably slightly less common than Eliana.
But it might not be enough to make a difference, especially because nickname Lainey ranks in the current US Top 50, too. Elena + Lainey + Elaina … would probably be similar to Eliana.
And the names sound so similar I’m not sure if this factor helps.
MEANING
While different spellings and other factors apply, these are the meanings I’d list as most strongly association with both names:
- Elaina is ultimately a form of Helen, meaning torch
- Eliana comes from a Hebrew name meaning “my God has answered,” or possibly a Roman family name related to the sun god Helios
That’s not significantly different, but perhaps it helps.
IF ALL ELSE FAILS …
May I humbly suggest flipping a coin?
The coin flip is non-binding. It’s a thought experiment. Heads she’s Eliana, tails she’s Elaina. Flip the coin and see how you both feel with the outcome.
- Sometimes a coin flip provides the relief of deciding.
- Sometimes we feel resignation – it’s the only fair way, even if our side doesn’t prevail.
- At other times, we experience a real grief and disappointment that lingers.
The worst case: you’re thrilled and he’s not. Or vice versa. But that’s real information. It helps clarify just how much you’re both invested in the choice.
But in case one of you is really upset by the coin flip outcome?
I’ll suggest one more option: find an entirely different name.
Imagine you cannot use Eliana or Elaina for this daughter. Or pretend you’re naming her sister. Start with a blank slate and try to brainstorm a new name.
Because you might be better off agreeing on a name you’d rate 4 out of 5 stars than insisting one of you get their 5-star name.
I will point out that while both would require spelling, Elaina might be a bit of a headache. Does it annoy you (and/or your husband) that well-meaning family members, teachers, and Starbucks baristas might default to Elena? If so, Eliana might be a better choice.
Also, if you hate the nickname Ellie or Elle, you might be disappointed by Eliana. Although people might call Elaina Ellie, it’s different if you introduce her as Lainey. Would your husband be more open to Eliana if you called her Leni or Lana?
Or maybe something wholly new, like Liana/Leanna “Lainey”? Elena “Leni”? Just Eleni?
Final, slightly out-of-the-box suggestion: would Eliana-called-Lainey be a decent compromise? It’s a little weird, but not crazy, and people would adjust quickly. If John can be Jack and Margaret can be Peggy, there’s no reason Eliana can’t be Lainey.
Best of luck! Both names are beautiful and I’m sure whatever you choose will be perfect!
It’s actually quite interesting how they’re the same exact letters but such different names! I would never have put them together but somehow your partner and you have favourites.
Good advice from all angles from Abby. I think considering sibling names may help. Are you a long and flowery namer, or a more common but alternate spelling and snappy nickname namer? And I agree with PP that Ellie is quite a popular nickname if that deters you. But Eliana also comes with Lia, which is very sweet.
If you can agree on the nickname Lainey, maybe you could consider a totally different name to get there? How about Elaine (drop the A) or Delaney?
Could you find a nickname from Eliana that would make your partner warm up to it? Maybe he’s looking for something less frilly like Ani or Eli or Lennie? I must admit meeting a little Lennie whose full name is Eliana would totally make me smile.
Last – have you two tried testing the names, like at Starbucks? Elaina said aloud will get multiple spellings. Eliana may get alternate spellings… but I’d venture to say Eliana would probably choose her own Starbucks name to avoid blank looks and bizarre cup names.
Good luck! It’s challenging when you two are close and yet so far from agreement!
I love Elaina and Lainey and Lane are such cool nicknames!
I know a girl named Elena but she pronounces her name El- en- ah vs El-ane- ah. I think the Elaina spelling is clear as people are familiar with the name Elaine.
I also know a lovely Eliana and it is a beautiful name. It’s more flowery though and there are quite a few popular Ellie names at the moment.
I agree with weighing the middle name, surname, nickname with surname etc or take both to meet her and congrats 🙂
Also…Lani and Lana are cute nicknames for Eliana, I think.
I prefer Eliana because of how it sounds and how it is spelled. Elaina is an alternative spelling of Elena, to my mind.
If the nickname Lainey is the primary consideration though, perhaps Elaina will work better.
I think all of the aspects that Abby has outlined are important to consider – last name, meaning of name etc.
Sending all best wishes!!