Happy Sunday!
It seemed like the news this week was chock full of family drama:
- Is it okay for friends and family to give your child nicknames? The Sun picked up a story about a mom upset that her loved ones were calling her daughter Meg, Meggy, and Megs instead of Megan. I’m divided on this one. The nicknames seem pretty innocent, affectionate, and even automatic. I doubt a grandmother imagines that Meggy or Megs subverts the parents’ authority to choose a name. And yet … well, I do think it’s fair to want your child to be called what you would like your child to be called.
- This, on the other hand? It clearly crosses the line when a mother-in-law insists on calling her grandchild by the name she would have preferred – NOT the one her children chose for her grandchild. That’s just plain not okay.
- But how ’bout this one: she’s part of a blended family, and the name she’s chosen for her unborn child conflicts with her half-sibling’s name. Without knowing the exact names in question, it’s tough to think about precisely how close the two names might be. And yet, this might be a place to tread lightly, right?
Elsewhere online:
- I’ve been waiting for some version of the name Vida/Vita to take off for years. Now that Catelynn Baltierra welcomed a daughter named Vaeda, maybe that’s the one to watch?
- Kaitlin Doubleday named her son Franklin. I think it’s a great choice, and an appealing compromise between surname names and old school nickname names, a mix of Carter and Frank.
- Isn’t Ghislaine gorgeous?
- Whoa! Some real-life baby names from Australia, all wildly bold.
- Speaking of wild, these finds from 1877 are dazzling. Arabella Snowdrop, Vere Henry, Vashti Victoria …
- Top baby name rises over the years – so interesting.
That’s all for now. As always, thank you for reading – and have a great week!
I have loved the name Vada since I saw My Girl as a kid. My husband and I couldn’t agree on the spelling, so we didn’t use it for our own daughter. I’m surprised it isn’t more popular.
Yes! Me, too … I think Vada is one of those overlooked gems.
A parent’s authority or control over a person’s name ends as soon as the name has been given: After that, the name belongs to the child. Parents don’t get to dictate what other people call their child, only the child gets to.
(I actually ended up adopting someone else’s spelling of my daughter’s nickname when she was younger; I’d always mentally spelled the nickname -nie, and was amused to find once that my dad at least mentally spelled it -ny. But the type of nickname wasn’t a common one in Germany, so they simply spelled it phonetically, which was -i! I thought that spelling was super cute, and I still use it whenever I use that diminutive.)
VERY true, Sara!
I love Arabella Snowdrop! Arabella’s my favourite A name.
I don’t think it is ok to object to people giving your child nicknames. I think part of parenting is letting your child build relationships with people on their own terms. My daughter is my sister’s niece. They have a relationship independent of the one that either has with me. To me this means that if my sister gives her niece a nickname that is between them, I can’t demand that she ask my permission. Common courtesy comes into play though, it isn’t ok for a family member to passive-aggressively avoid a name they don’t like via nickname. However, it is ok for a nickname to organically grow between them. This is a sign of closeness and affection in a relationship.
The element of ‘organic growth’ is important to a nickname in my opinion. I think if you say ‘her name is Mary but her nickname will be Maisie which we will use exclusively’ then Maisie becomes her name. In this case a person building closeness in the relationship may start calling her Mays, or Zi-Zi, or M, or whatever. Parents being too prescriptive about ‘nicknames’ often push family and friends further out from the formal name. Of course this is all just my opinion! My own kids have their formal names, their family nicknames and the names they use for themselves, all different!
Maree, I think that’s a fair line to draw, and a good way to think about it.
Guylaine (spelled this way) is a pretty common name in Québec.
Ooh … I didn’t know! Thank you!
I have a relative named Ghislaine. I love the way it sounds, but I suspect it would be butchered here in Australia – I can imagine it being pronounced giz-layn or jiz-layn, neither of which capture the delicacy of the name (to my ear)
How should it be pronounced? In my head I was saying gis-lane *blush*
There are regional differences, but Ghee-Laine comes close. You can hear it here. I’m guessing Guylaine, mentioned earlier, is a phonetic/modern spin on Ghislaine that reflects that pronunciation.
Good point!