Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, we discuss reader’s name questions, usually on Tuesdays and Fridays. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.
EVERYBODY SAYS GIRL NAMES ARE EASY, BUT NOT FOR US
Brianna writes:
We agreed on our son’s name in about ten minutes. He’s Alexander Bailey. Our last name sounds like the first name Greg-with-an-S. They’re not family names and they don’t really have a specific meaning. We wanted strong names that would be good for a child and an adult, and we wanted something that had a good image. Alex checked every box, and it’s the perfect name for our son. Bailey just seemed like more fun than the other middle names we considered, like James and David and Charles.
Now we are expecting our second child. It’s a girl, and it feels like the list of names we have is only getting longer, and we’re not any closer to agreeing.
Last week, we both made separate lists of our individual favorite names, traded them, and then crossed out ones we didn’t like. That left us with 14 names:
- Alisa/Elisa
- Beatrice
- Delilah
- Eden
- Gemma
- Hannah
- Harlow
- Maya
- Natasha
- Nicola
- Olivia
- Sienna
- Talia
- Valerie
We’re not sure how to move forward from here. If we can’t get to one single name, we’d at least like to have a manageable list when we go to the hospital in a few more months.
Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.
NOW COMES THE FUN PART: NAMING ALEX’S SISTER
Abby replies:
Congratulations on your new daughter!
You’ve done a great job identifying a list of names you’re both willing to consider. Now it’s time to flip the funnel. You’ve both been focused on ruling out names you dislike.
Now it’s time to think about qualities you appreciate and narrow up. That means finding reasons you like names, rather than reasons to discard them.
Let’s see if we can distill some qualities from your description of Alex’s name.
- Should go well with your surname, Greg-with-an-S.
- The name will be strong, good for a child and an adult.
- A good image is essential.
- Something fun and upbeat as a middle name is a bonus.
As criteria goes, these are pretty subjective.
Some other ones come to mind, though, based just on the name Alexander Bailey.
- We’re looking for a name on the traditional side.
- Something in the US Top 100 (or thereabouts) is probably better than an uncommon name.
- Alex and Alexander have only one frequently-used spelling. And while Bailey might be Baylee, the surname spelling is almost always the one that you’ve used.
Based on those lists, I’d narrow your 14 favorites to just seven:
- Delilah
- Eden
- Gemma
- Hannah
- Maya
- Olivia
- Valerie
That leads to a few questions:
- Do you want something very feminine? Delilah and Olivia are a little on elaborate, frilly, flowery side.
- Would you prefer something nickname-proof? That’s Maya, or possibly Eden.
- If you’re looking for the most timeless option, I’d give that title to Valerie, or maybe Hannah.
- And if you’re thinking of something current and maybe a little bit surprising, a twist on a current chart-topper? That’s Gemma.
It might help to try some combinations:
- Eden Olivia
- Gemma Delilah
- Maya Valerie
- Valerie Eden
Of course, some of the names from your original list might not be great as firsts, but could be good middles, so I’ll add back in Olivia Harlow.
And actually? I think that might be my favorite combination of all.
Congratulations. I agree— naming a daughter was much more difficult than naming a son.
From your list…
Alexander Bailey & Olivia Eden “Alex & Liv”
Alexander Bailey & Beatrice Eden “Alex & Bea”
Alexander Bailey & Elisabeth Eden “Alex & Elisa”
Alexander Bailey & Natalia Eden “Alex & Talia”
Alexander Bailey & Valerie Eden “Alex & Val”
I used Eden in the middle name spot as it feels fun like Bailey but you could also pull inspiration from Dad’s name as you have Bailey & Brianna.
Sienna, Hannah, Gemma, and Nicola are great too but I love the feel of Olivia, Beatrice, Valerie with Alexander! Harlow, Maya, and Delilah don’t feel quite as polished, to me. I might consider Latin Natalia vs Natasha (it’s Russian diminutive) to give you Talia. Or Elisabeth to get you Elisa.
Once you have narrowed down your list, it’s fun to call the baby the name for a couple days, make sure you like common diminutives, or look up the name meanings to see if you connect with anything.
I really like how you added Elisabeth & Natalia to give them the other two names, Elisa & Talia, as nicknames! Brilliant!
Also…a couple of combinations with Delilah could be:
Delilah Harlow
Delilah Eden (too Biblical? Sounds pretty though)
If you want something fun, but also good for an adult, my vote is for Delilah. It is becoming more popular and has flair! I like how Abby evaluated different name combinations here. I think Alexander (Alex) goes well with most names, so maybe narrow the list down a bit, but allow yourself to be surprised when she arrives and see what name suits her when you see her!
Alex(ander) & Delilah : )
Best wishes!!