Boy Names for Barrett’s Brother

Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, we discuss reader’s name questions, usually on Tuesdays and Fridays. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! To have your question considered, email appmtn (at) gmail. Looking for your own private #namehelp post? Order one here.

COMPROMISE NEEDED

Hannah writes:

It took us a very long time to choose our son’s name, Barrett James. I went through life as Hannah Q. and didn’t want my kids to have a popular name. My husband goes by Jon in the US, but he’s from Europe and his actual name is very unusual, so he has the opposite goal. Any name that is too different is a no for him.

Our last name can be a little hard to work with, too. It starts with an F and rhymes with bolts, but with a Z at the end. I liked Brooks, but the -s/-z was awful.

We mostly agreed on three names at the end: Everett, Barrett, and Bennett. We chose Barrett sort of because I have a grandpa Barry, but we didn’t want anyone to call our son Barry. (So far, so good!)

I feel like Barrett’s brother can’t be Everett and definitely not Bennett. While I do like the idea of using my last name, which is like Queen-with-an-I, I don’t love the way it sounds with Bolts-with-an-F. Plus I think I might want to save it in case we have a girl in the future, but I also think I’d probably use it as her middle name.

Names that we sort of don’t hate right now are:

• Leo – but it is popular and I just think it’s okay
• Max – too short, and Maximilian is too long, and my husband likes Maxim but it’s a trashy magazine to me – I know I’m probably being too picky, but I don’t think I really like this name all that much
• Paul – my husband likes, but really short and maybe too traditional compared to Barrett
• Anton – another suggestion from my husband and I want to like this, but it just feels off to me, like it should be Anthony but I can’t really get into Anthony, either
• Thomson – a family name from my side, but maybe it’s too much like a last name, compared to Barrett, which is either/both
• Walker – I think I like it, husband isn’t convinced, says it sounds too American

We’re just going around in circles at this point. Help!

Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.

FINDING ANOTHER NAME BOTH PARENTS CAN EMBRACE

Abby replies:

Congratulations on your new son!

Here’s what I’m hearing:

• Your husband prefers established names that feel familiar to him. So do you! It’s just that your frames of reference are different.
• There are two challenges: finding a name you agree on and finding a name that works well with your surname. It’s hard to know where to start, especially when finding names to consider at all feels hard. But I think you have to begin by ruling out anything that doesn’t work well with your surname.

That leads us to looking at your current names, because I’m not sure your list is really there yet.

EVALUATING YOUR CURRENT LIST

PAUL, MAX

It feels like many one-syllable names would be problematic with Bolts-with-an-F. Jon Bolts-with-an-F sounds great, actually – but it’s the exception. I think it’s worth focusing your search on two-syllable names or longer.

ANTON

Popular and familiar in much of Europe, but really different in the US. This feels like what your husband would prefer to avoid.

WALKER, LEO

I like both of these with your last name, and as a brother for Barrett. But it feels like they’re lukewarm compromises for you both. Also worth noting: Leo is more popular than it first appears, thanks to boys named Leonardo or similar that also go by Leo.

THOMSON

That leaves your family name. It checks a lot of boxes, but I’m not sure either of you is enthusiastic about Thomson. Also, while it would never occur to me to shorten Barrett to Barry, I find myself wanting to nickname Thomson “Tommy” – not your goal.

I think we some new names.

FRESH SUGGESTIONS FOR BARRETT’S BROTHER

ARCHER

Archibald is antique, but Archer feels very current – but still feels like it’s been around, thanks to the shared Arch sound.

CALLUM

An Irish saint’s name, connected to Malcolm, Callum sounds a bit like a surname but is far more common as a first.

CARTER

Polished Carter is quite popular but not in the Liam/Noah or even Leo range. I love it with Barrett – lots of strong, distinctive sounds.

GRAHAM

Okay, yes, it’s just one syllable. But the gruff GR is somehow balanced out by the whole rhymes-with-Sam vibe. It stands up to your surname nicely, and might feel like a compromise between, say Paul and Walker.

HAYDEN

I can easily image Hayden as Barrett’s brother. Yes, all of the rhymes-with-Aiden names were big just a few years ago. But Hayden offers a traditional vibe and more staying power than, say, Zaedyn.

JULIAN

It’s a Top 100 name in the US, but it has that same accessible-but-gentlemanly style as Barrett. I’m assuming it’s familiar to your husband, as Julian is enjoying a global renaissance.

PARKER

Another in the Walker/Carter category.

ROWAN

If Anton and Thomson are both close, but not quite, I wonder if Rowan sounds more like Barrett’s brother to you both?

I’m most drawn to Julian but also Carter. I think they’re both broadly familiar, but not all that common. Julian feels a little more like your husband’s style, while Carter feels like it comes more from your suggestions. One thought: could Thomson be the perfect middle name? I love Carter Thomson together. Or maybe Julian Walker or even Julian Carter?

Readers, over to you! Can you suggest some compromise names for Barrett’s brother?