I know how easy it is to become attached to a name. Maybe you do, too.
But should that choice bring you into heartbreaking conflict with someone important in your life, here’s a good rule of thumb: choose the relationship.
Even when it means sacrificing the name you love.
Probably even if you can’t wrap your head around the objection.
Families and friendships can be complicated. And I completely understand that we all get dizzy sometimes, surprised that the name we find best is somehow problematic for the people we love.
The opposite is true, too: we should also extend grace to the person struggling to give up a beloved name.
With that in mind, this story seems clear-cut to me: she wants to use her cousin’s birth name for her child. But that cousin has transitioned and changed names and cannot fathom having a new family member share that painful name.
Can she use it? Of course. But it means sacrificing the relationship with her cousin.
I mean … we can go too far. Sometimes we’re upset that our college roommate’s sister used the same Top 100 name that we chose, or think that our second cousin who lives across the country really ought to leave that family name for us – in case we ever have a son – because we called it in seventh grade.
It’s perfectly fine to decide that the relationship is so casual that you needn’t consider it.
Or that the other person’s position is so extreme that you can’t possible accommodate their wishes. (Remember this gem?)
It’s not fair to call two dozen favorites and insist everyone in your circles avoid those names, just in case you ever do welcome more than twelve children and get to use them all.
But most of the time, choose the relationship. Life is long. And while it’s hard to let go of a favorite name, it’s almost certainly not worth the sacrifice.
ELSEWHERE ONLINE:
Nancy rounds up the most popular names in Scotland. But it’s always the rare and unique names – at the bottom of the post – that catch my eye. There must be a story behind Yigit, Dianka, and Tselot.
Or maybe they were concocted via the Name Combiner. Put in up to six (!) names, and this handy dandy little online tool will dream up potential novelties. Some of them are gibberish. But it’s possible to get some great ideas, too. My dad’s name combined with my father-in-law’s name could become Aleric/Alaric, and really … how did I never see that?
Loved this post on creative and unconventional approaches to nicknaming from Delphina Moon. Partially because someone I have known for years as Joanna just told me that she’s really Josephine Anne.
Have you checked your Baby Name DNA yet? Nameberry’s new tool promises hours of customized name-searching.
Speaking of losing time, did you know People maintains a list of all the celebrity babies born in 2021? I mean … it’s 127 slides long, so freshen up your coffee and settle in.
Which reminds me, I adore the name of HGTV stars Erin & Ben Napier’s new daughter: Mae! And yes, it looks like she arrived on May 28th. Big sister is Helen. It just doesn’t get any better than those two names together …
Nameberry’s DNA test was fun! I’m a Maverick Noble. I do love Mae. especially spelled this way!