A Name for Margot’s New Brother

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COMPROMISING ON A BOY’S NAME

Allison writes:

Our daughter is Margot Emerson. Margot was my favorite name since before we even got married, and Emerson is a family name that felt like the right choice for her middle name.

We are now expecting a son in November and I’m starting to think he will never have a name.

Our last name sounds like Fraser with a B. My husband is set on the name Banks. I might be willing to consider it, but I just don’t like the way it sounds with our last name.

He feels like he didn’t argue about Margot’s name, so he should get to choose this time. I understand his point, but he really never said anything about Margot’s name except for yes/sure/good, so I don’t think this is the same.

After I wouldn’t agree to Banks, my husband made a list of more names: Lane, Knox, Cole, Briggs, Kade, and Blaze.

My list is more like male equivalents of Margot, names that you can see on a child but also on an adult. Everett is my favorite, but I also like Henry, Hugo, Rowan, Miles, and Emmett. I do like lots of names ending with R, but they’re not great with our last name. I’m open to more ideas.

Also: there’s not really a family middle name to use this time. I would consider possibly using Emerson again. Henry is my husband’s middle name, and his dad and grandfather’s first name, but he doesn’t like it.

We’re really stuck right now, and could use some impartial advice.

Please read on for my response and leave your thoughtful suggestions in the comments.

FINDING COOL CLASSIC NAMES FOR MARGOT’S BROTHER

Abby replies:

Congratulations on your new son!

This is incredibly frustrating and all-too-common. Knowing you’re not alone doesn’t necessarily get you any closer to a name, but it might help you feel better about the process of finding a compromise.

Sometimes when I look at lists, I see more overlap that the parents might.

In this case, though, the differences are pretty clear. Your husband prefers short, strong names with a powerful, modern image.

They’re not necessarily mismatches with Margot, but it’s not what I would expect, either. If I were asked to suggest names for Margot’s brother, I’m sure my list would look something like yours: Everett, Henry, Felix, James.

So we have a disconnect, but I do think there’s some potential overlap on your current lists and I’m going to suggest some new possibilities, too.

Before we get there, though, let me put on my umpire stripes.

Even if you chose your daughter’s name, there’s no official playbook that says he goes next.

Do some couples agree to this approach? Yes. It doesn’t sound like you did. And truly, even couples who opt for a you choose/I choose approach still almost always give the other partner some veto power.

That means? Banks is out. So is Henry as a first name.

Let’s see where that leaves us.

I think, ideally, we need a strong sound but a more traditional pedigree.

THE NAME THAT STANDS OUT: COLE

There’s one name on your husband’s list that sounds so much like Margot’s brother: Cole.

It shares the long O sound of Rowan and Margot. It’s short, yes. But it’s not a swaggering, tough-guy name. It’s Nat King Cole and Cole Hauser, the name of an athlete or an author.

Cole comes from classic Nicholas, just Margot started out as a form of Margaret.

They’re almost perfectly matched. I think Margot Emerson and Cole Henry would be as good as it gets.

In second place, I can imagine Margot with a brother called Lane. It has a little more swagger, but also some sophistication. It’s a far more versatile name that fiery Blaze. And from your list, I do think Everett has plenty of swagger, too – it’s so close to towering Everest, and the V sound reminds me of the high-value Scrabble letters in your husband’s favorite names, like Knox.

So from your current lists, Cole Henry is my top suggestion, with Lane Everett or Everett Knox as a back-up.

Let’s brainstorm some new ideas, too.

TRADITIONAL WITH AN EDGE NAMES FOR MARGOT’S BROTHER

BECKETT

Yes, it’s a B name. But it’s also a versatile surname name that sounds right with Margot. It echoes your favorites, like Everett and Emmett. It could also shorten to Beck. And while Blaze and Briggs are a lot with Fraser-with-a-B, I think Beckett Fraser-with-a-B is on the right side of alliteration.

CONRAD

Maybe this is a stretch. Conrad reads classic, maybe even a little old school. But I love it as a brother name for Margot, and it shares the strong sounds of names like Kade and Cole. I’m leaving it on the list because I do think it checks boxes for both of you.

JACK

Everybody loves the name Jack. Is it popular? Yes. Because … everybody loves the name Jack. It’s the best of Banks meets Henry. If it means your son shares his name sometimes? That feels like a small price to pay for finding the perfect compromise.

MAX

Your husband is drawn to short and strong, but also to word names like Blaze. Max is interesting, because it immediately implies big. Maximum, right? It comes from the exact same roots as the name itself, the Latin maximus, meaning greatest. But because it’s been in use forever, Max also feels traditional. Longer names, like Maxwell, can shorten to Max, but I wonder if the simple, three-letter version is the best compromise for your family?

RHODES

Rowan meets Briggs with a sound that’s energetic. It’s a little bit on-the-road, but also very Rhodes scholar. It’s more modern than your list, but a little more like Miles, too.

WELLS

I’ll add one more suggestion in the s-ending category, but there are so many options here.

WYATT

Sometimes I think compromise requires re-considering names that we know. A dozen years ago, Wyatt might’ve had the same bold image of a name like Briggs. After years in the Top 100, that’s softened a bit. It’s not as classic as William, but it’s also not as brash as Kade. And it reminds me of Everett and Emmett from your list, so that might give it some possibility as a compromise.

If Cole Henry isn’t the obvious choice, then I’m inclined to suggest something like Jack Everett or Beckett Henry. Or even Jack Emerson or Beckett Emerson.

Readers, over to you! What would you name a brother for Margot Emerson knowing dad prefers a more modern style of names for their son?