About Abby Sandel

Whether you're naming a baby, or just all about names, you've come to the right place! Appellation Mountain is a haven for lovers of obscure gems and enduring classics alike.

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What do you think?

16 Comments

  1. My SIL is now Sarah Ann Smith. Her maiden name was something a lot less common than Smith, but still not unusual. When she married my brother, I encouraged her to use her maiden name as a middle, but she looked at me like I was nuts. (I’m from rural upstate NY where people traditionally keep their middle, instead of maiden, names.) Now, she uses Sarah MaidenName Smith on Facebook. It cracks me up every time I see it. (I hyphenated, but that’s a long story in and of itself.)

  2. I’d have to agree with that. In my area [Northern Indiana] it’s rare for a woman to keep her maiden name legally, either as a surname or middle name, but a lot of them use First Maiden Married on Facebook. I do, even though in real life I’ve gotten rid of my maiden name completely and generally want no association with it. [Ideally I’m a hyphenated girl, but my father was a horrid man.] When I first joined FB and only used my married name, no one could find me.

  3. Judging from conversations I have had on Nameberry boards on the subject, moving the maiden name to the middle slot is primarily a Southern phenomenon. I grew up thinking that every (traditionally-minded) woman went with this format, and was surprised that it is basically unheard of in other areas. I think every one of my friends goes by first-maiden-married.
    Anyway, as for skipping the middle name entirely for baby girls, I agree that it’s not a great idea. I knew a few girls whose parents opted against the middle name for this reasoning, and most either legally adopted a middle name in their teens or sort of informally took one. Personally, I would feel cheated. One way that we salvage the discarded middle name is to pass it on to the first daughter as a way to link the generations.

    1. I feel like Facebook adds to this a lot too… or maybe it’s because I’m also from the South, but nearly all of my married friends identify themselves on Facebook as FIRST MAIDEN MARRIED. I do it as well, even though I “officially” dropped my maiden, to make it easier for people who don’t know my married name to find me.

      I’m still flabbergasted that parents wouldn’t give a middle… if you just can’t find a good one, okay, but purposely not doing it? Mind-boggling.

      1. Facebook must be a big factor – I don’t use any part of my birth name in my FB account, but I can see why someone would.

    2. Caroline, that’s a nice point. Passing on a middle name is a great way to link generations.

      I think you must be right about the practice being regional. I’d say that I know far more women who did not take their husband’s names at all, which raises its own issues for naming, but then, I’m in metro DC, which is a different animal. (I do have my husband’s surname, for total vanity reasons – I just liked his SO MUCH MORE than mine.)

      My mother did not have a middle name – completely forgot about that. I’ll have to ask her why … all three of her younger siblings do, so I suspect the answer is more about changing times than anything else. She ending up using her confirmation name as a middle name, though now she uses her maiden name.

  4. I have a second cousin who’s a girl named Ryan. I always scratch my head at that. Her sister is named something similarly masculine.

    I’m excited to see what the GGC twins will be named. I love Archer Sage and Fable Luella.

    I always thought that Finch would be an interesting alternative for those that want to name their son after Atticus Finch.

    1. It does make you wonder why parents give their girls names like Ryan. Its not even a midtable boy name like Finley, it’s a top20 boy name, and has been for decades. It’s like suddenly people deciding they like Amanda on a boy. It just doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.

  5. Mariah’s daughter doesn’t have a middle? I haven’t seen it reported anywhere. I hate the idea of not giving a girl a middle just because she might move her maiden name to the middle slot! It almost feels sexist. I kept my middle name and dropped my maiden – but nearly every form I fill out asks what my maiden is anyway, so it isn’t like it’s gone.

    I really like Mirabella Bunny. It feels like a nickname middle, not an out-there word name middle. Maybe that’s just because of Charlotte’s MIL Bunny on Sex and the City and how they always called Jen Bunney by her full name on The Hills.

    1. Exactly – Monroe Cannon didn’t get a middle name because Mariah doesn’t have one.

      And I agree. There are no many variables about how anyone’s life will turn out … why assume? Give her a middle, and if she does drop it someday, oh well.

      Good points about the pop culture uses of Bunny. I wouldn’t like it as a first name, but it is strangely endearing in the middle.

    2. Exactly – Monroe Cannon didn’t get a middle name because Mariah doesn’t have one.

      And I agree. There are no many variables about how anyone’s life will turn out … why assume? Give her a middle, and if she does drop it someday, oh well.

      Good points about the pop culture uses of Bunny. I wouldn’t like it as a first name, but it is strangely endearing in the middle.

  6. Archer Sage is a pretty good name.

    I’m thrilled to see a celebrity name their son Meredith, it’s about time. More of these celebrities please…

    Raylan sounds masculine to me, Posey for me just reminds me of Poser… not the best thing. Finch is just as bad. Eisley is nice though

    Is it just me, or did I spot on Nancy’s list of names beyond top1000 that Khloe has debuted for boys? Surely a mistake right? Or is the Kardashian effect that strong?!

  7. It would have never occured to me not to give my girls middle names, they all ended up with two anyway. Maybe it’s a British thing but that the married women I know either keep their own maiden names or hyphenate, I’ve never even heard of keeping the maiden name as a middle.

    I like the stretch of Evelyn to Flynn, I agree with you Abby, honouring someone no matter what the stretch is a really lovely thing to do.

    1. Oops meant to say that the majority of married women I know have dropped their maiden name. Seemed to have gone on a bit of a ramble above! I do know a lot who have hyphenated too.

  8. I can’t wait for GGC’s choice. Years ago, I dreamed I had a daughter named Fable. I have no idea where it came from, but I kind of dismissed it as crazy, but also fell in love with it. I’m trying to come up with a real name and nickname her Fable, but I haven’t come up with anything yet.

    I’ve thought of using the name Flynn to honor my grandmother and great grandmother Lynn. I’m okay with a stretch too.

    Yeah, my first quiz and it was too hard and everybody got a 40 on it. haha I should have made it easier somehow, but I would have failed too. It hard to tell these days. I hate the sites, who put the name and don’t put if its a boy or a girl.

    That list of Nancy’s is headache inducing with all those crazy spellings.

    Oh, and I’m sick of all those Jacob and Isabella’s are only popular because of Twilight. Ugh.

    Sarah