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Sunday Summary: 10.1.23

October 1, 2023 By appellationmountain Leave a Comment

Sunday Summary 10.1.23Someone recently asked me a question, and I thought I’d answer it here.

I read that you legally changed your name. How did you get your parents to come around?

It’s a great question!

But the short answer is that … I didn’t. Not really.

The basics: I legally changed my name in my late 20s. My father had passed away by then, so it was only my mom. And for her? It wasn’t a newsflash that I actively disliked my very, very common first name. I’d been jawing on about it for years.

Still, it was the best kind of situation for a name change. I was a legal adult, independent in every sense for quite some time. And we had a good relationship. I do think it confused her, and possibly hurt her, too.

That said, I was willing to patiently wait for everyone in my life to make the change – or not. I have a few older relatives who still can’t wrap their heads around it. Since I see them a few times a year – at most – it’s pretty easy to just shrug it off. I never insisted my grandmothers make the change. I loved them, they loved me, and I’m grateful for that and know how lucky I am to have had them in my life well into my adult years.

Another factor: my family is an engine of cuckoo-bananas nicknames. Always have been. So for a few years, I didn’t really have a name. My sisters, in particular, have never called me Abby. But I’ve never called them by their given names, either, so it’s a non-issue.

The bottom line: relationships matter most. If my mom had refused to acknowledge my new name? I’m guessing that would’ve signaled a deeper rift between us. Likewise, if I’d been hyper-vigilant that no one could ever use my old name? I feel like that would’ve been a little harsh, and likely the wrong call, too.

Relationships matter most.

Also: change takes time. I’d been mulling over a name change for years. Some people in my life only became aware of that once the change was complete. They needed time to make the shift, too.

Here’s the thing: my name change was only a name change. It indicated nothing about my gender, religious identity, or any other significant matter. That’s not always true; often a name change is a small part of a bigger transition, or claiming a different identity. That can be seismic, and it might be much, much harder for those relationships to adjust. Likewise, someone’s reluctance to use a new name might feel bigger – a rejection of all sorts of things.

But if you’re talking about a garden variety, this-name-doesn’t-suit kind of change? Know that it won’t be like flipping a switch. If extending your loved ones grace doesn’t cause you pain, try to do so. And if you’re the one trying to accommodate a loved one’s name change? Know that they’re sharing something important with you, and listen  and behave accordingly.

Have you changed your name? I’d love to hear your story.

ELSEWHERE ONLINE

I’m low key obsessed with Zoëtry.  Yes, it’s the name of a hotel chain. And sure, they’re resorts in gorgeous locations, so that’s probably helping sell me on the whole image. But I love how they describe the portmanteau: Zoëtry® blends the Greek words “Zoe” (life) and “Poetry” (artful creations), or Art of Life. Could it be a given name? It never has been, at least not that I can find in the US data. But I’m willing to cautiously consider it …

Is Delphine the new Josephine? Joe Jonas and Sophie Taylor are the parents of two daughters. They shared firstborn Willa’s name, but kept quiet about their younger daughter’s name – until now. Delphine’s name was revealed in the couple’s official divorce filing. Which is terribly sad. And yet, it’s getting an awful lot of attention, enough that maybe Delphine will finally catch on in the US.

Boy Names That Convey Strength Without Violence. I am so here for this concept from babynames.com. And yet, it’s a tough idea to nail down, isn’t it? Does Humphrey fit? I can’t decide, but I would never describe it quite that way … How ’bout Koa, Kane, or Evander?

Ooh … Astrid is the #1 girls’ name in Sweden. Nancy has the full report. I think American parents should also take another look at Vera, Signe, Saga, Elvira; plus Hugo, Niles, Alfred, and Tage.

Time for this week’s Name Wordle! Find the game here. (And if you’re stumped? This is the answer.)

That’s all for this week! As always, thank you for reading – and have a great week!

boy names 10.1.23 girl names 10.1.23

Bewitching Witch Names for Halloween

September 30, 2023 By appellationmountain 14 Comments

girl names inspired by witches

Witch names come to mind every autumn, but they’re great any time of the year. Fictional witches have worn so many fantastic names. Some, like Elphaba, fascinate – but seem like a stretch as a child’s given name. This list focuses on witch names perfectly wearable for a real girl – black cat, bubbling cauldron, […]

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Name Help: A Sister for Damian and Dominic

September 29, 2023 By appellationmountain 16 Comments

Name Help: A Sister for Damian John and Dominic Joseph

Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! Mikayla writes: We have two boys, Damian John and Dominic Joseph. We are […]

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Rare Nature Names: Canyon, Alder, Wisteria

September 28, 2023 By appellationmountain 7 Comments

rare nature names

Rare nature names offer the best of both worlds. They share the outdoorsy vibe of River and Willow, but they’re distinctive and different, too. Of course, it’s tougher than ever to find nature names that aren’t trending. Once rare choices like Poppy and Ocean now rank in the US Top 1000. Plenty of gender-neutral choices, […]

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Name Help: A Brother for Martin Charles

September 27, 2023 By appellationmountain 12 Comments

Name Help: A Brother for Martin Charles

Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! Kaitlyn writes: My first son is named for his grandfather, my ex’s dad, […]

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Elemental Production Babies

September 26, 2023 By appellationmountain Leave a Comment

Elemental production babies

Let’s review the Elemental production babies. Wait, what are Production Babies? Ever since the very first Pixar movie, Toy Story, debuted in 1995, the studio has followed a fascinating tradition. They’ve listed the names of any babies born to the staff responsible for the movie in that film’s credits. Those names appear at the very […]

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Boy Names Starting with I: Isaac, Idris, Ibrahim

September 25, 2023 By appellationmountain 8 Comments

boy names starting with I

When it comes to boy names starting with I, two varieties dominate. There are the every guy names, the likable and familiar favorites, like Isaac and Ian. But then there are the daring boy names starting with I, from Shakespeare’s Iago to Elba’s Idris. Is there any middle ground? Maybe. A saintly classic and some […]

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Sunday Summary: 9.24.23

September 24, 2023 By appellationmountain 2 Comments

Sunday Summary 9.24.23

Happy Fall! The season kicked off with a gray, rainy day, courtesy of Tropical Storm Ophelia, enough to cancel a local arts festival we always enjoy. But a) we’ve had a string of absolutely glorious weather; b) we need the rain!; and c) is it crazy that I forgive the storm because it has such […]

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Baby Name Fiona: Traditional and Fearless

September 23, 2023 By appellationmountain 37 Comments

The baby name Fiona blends literary roots with an appealing sound for a name that hits the sweet spot – stylish, current, but not too common. Thanks to Melissa for suggesting our Baby Name of the Day. LITERARY INVENTION Back in the eighteenth century, the Scottish writer James Macpherson claimed he’d discovered and interpreted a collection […]

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Name Help: A Sister for Finn

September 22, 2023 By appellationmountain 21 Comments

Name Help: Ivy, Tessa, or Claire

Name Help is a series at Appellation Mountain. Every week, one reader’s name questions will be discussed. We’re relying on thoughtful comments from the community to help expectant parents narrow down their name decisions. Thank you in advance for sharing your insight! Melanie writes: We named our son Finn Henry in about twenty minutes. We […]

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Baby name blogger at www.appellationmountain.net. Lover of obscure gems, provider of #namehelp, and generally #babynames obsessed!

Abby Sandel
They're expecting a daughter! She'll join brothers They're expecting a daughter! She'll join brothers Damian John + Dominic Joseph. They're not set on using another D name. In fact, they'd always liked Piper for a girl. But now they're not sure. Stick with D names? Find a great middle for Piper? Or start fresh? Time for #namehelp #babynames #namingbaby #appellationmountain
Martin Charles was named for his grandfather - her Martin Charles was named for his grandfather - her ex's dad. Now she's expecting again + can't decide. Should she choose a name she loves? Stick with family names from her/her new husband's family? My suggestion is a fresh first with a meaningful middle. WDYT? #namehelp #babynames #namingbaby #appellationmountain
I love the character names from Elemental - Ember, I love the character names from Elemental - Ember, Lake, Wade! - and the list of Production Babies is every bit as delightful. #babynames #namingbaby #appellationmountain
Love this birth announcement! We helped them brain Love this birth announcement! We helped them brainstorm middle names for their twins; in the end, they found the perfect choices by using the LNs of two dear friends. Welcome to the world, Willow Jordan + Wren Palmer! #girlnames #babynames #namingbaby #appellationmountain
Edith, Beckett, Bear + more trending #babynames #n Edith, Beckett, Bear + more trending #babynames #namingbaby #appellationmountain
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