secret meaning of namesLet’s talk about the secret meaning of names.

Click on any name site, flip open an old school dictionary and there’s pretty much always a meaning. It’s often a word or brief phrase. Most of the time, it’s positive. Princess. Warrior. Butterfly. Star.

An uplifting meaning makes a difference. Parents often hesitate when the meaning is negative – or even neutral or simply unknown.

And yet, meanings are rarely simple or straightforward.

We read that Kaitlyn means pure. Sometimes Kayla and Kaylee, too.

That’s because Katherine is associated with the Greek katharos, which does, indeed, mean pure.

Except we’re pretty sure Katherine started out as a slightly different name, possibly derived from Hekate, a goddess associated with witchcraft. Or maybe from another source altogether.

That’s tough to capture in just a few words.

Textbook definitions don’t tell us the why.

Even if your name has a tidy definition, we’re still missing a big part of the puzzle.

Why did your parents choose THAT particular name?

And that spelling. The first-middle combination.

Maybe you’re Kayla not because of the meaning “pure.” But because your father’s beloved grandmother was called Kay. Or because your mother loved the soap opera Days of Our Lives in the 1980s, the pop culture sensation that boosted the unusual name.

Maybe your name is Katharine, inspired by legendary actress Katharine Hepburn. In that case, your name reflects Ms. Hepburn’s talent and wit, not the murky meaning of her given name.

Some of the best names have backstories that are unique to the family in question.

Mallory doesn’t mean sorrowful if your parents met in Mallory, Indiana. Then it means “small town where my parents met.”

And if your parents happened to meet there because it was a dark and stormy night, and your mom had a flat tire and the repair shop was closed and your dad just happened to be in town for a meeting and suddenly, there they were drinking coffee at the Mallory Diner just one seat apart … well, then your name means “serendipity, twist of fate.”

Knowing the “why” can shift the way we hear a name. The late actor and comedian Robin Williams apparently named his daughter Zelda after the video game. Maybe Zelda sacrifices some jazz age glam thanks to that knowledge, but it picks up a whole other meaning. It’s more about quests and adventures – a whole other vibe.

Honor names change everything.

Our daughter is named for her grandmother. And that grandmother was named for her grandmother. None of them have the exact same legal name, and yet, the meaning is all about family.

It’s not something that can be looked up on any list.

I love the literal meaning of my daughter’s name, but it’s only part of the story. The part that matters? It’s something you wouldn’t know unless you ask.

Not every story is meant to be shared.

It’s often said that Brooklyn Beckham’s famous parents chose his name because he was conceived in the New York City borough. Mom Victoria has since denied it; though there’s still a connection to the place.

If your story is a little risque or potentially embarrassing to your child, it’s worth crafting the G-rated version before you’re asked.

And speaking of asking …

The only way to really know a name’s significance is to talk with the person who chose the name.

Parents sometimes say “we just liked it.” And that’s okay!

But most of the time, there’s a little more to the story. Maybe the name reminds your parents of a place or a song. Or your mother held you in her arms, and you just looked like a Charlie.

It could’ve been your mother’s favorite name since she was young. Or the name that your dad suggested after weeks of shooting every name down.

Some stories are more dramatic than others. And some parents will naturally weave a story about your name. It’s always worth asking, and prompting more reflection with follow-up questions.

If you want to know your name’s true meaning, if possible, ask the person who named you.

It’s not the last word. Maybe your parents named you Ethan thanks to Tom Cruise’s character in the Mission: Impossible film series. But you’re an English major, and Edith Wharton’s Ethan Frome has always fascinated you. Or the name’s literal meaning – enduring – resonates with you.

You’re always free to take the information you learn from your parents, and layer in your lived experience of wearing the name.

And that becomes a story to tell another generation – and maybe a roadmap for naming children of your own someday, too.

What’s your name story?

First published on August 17, 2009, this post was revised and re-published on August 9, 2023.

secret meaning of names

About Abby Sandel

Whether you're naming a baby, or just all about names, you've come to the right place! Appellation Mountain is a haven for lovers of obscure gems and enduring classics alike.

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22 Comments

  1. I love this! Being of the Katharos line, a quick google search lead me to see “purified from fire.” I’m a member of the Pheonix society. I have burn scars all over my upper body and arms from a house fire a few years ago. Thank you for writing about this!

  2. Kayla/Kaila/Keila is Yiddish to me. ‘crown of laurel.’

    Been told on forums almost ALL the old-style Yiddish names in my family sound ‘really made up and trendy’ though. Bayla, Kayla, Raizel, Reka, Mirele, Toiba, Goldie, etc. Aside from Zelda. Which is ‘from the Nintendo game.’

    In fact I always wondered if Robin Williams had a Yiddish meaning/family connection in mind and then said ‘for the videogame’ because, well, its funnier.

  3. I’m a Katherine (Katie), and finding out that it has to do with witches and demons = Awesome!
    I always hated that it means “pure”. That is so not an accurate description of me.
    I was named after Hepburn, and my work BFF was named after the other!
    Katherine was also the only name my parents would agree on. I thank my father everyday for this, otherwise I would be Lacey Olivia!