No, I’m not talking about kaballah. I’m not even talking about names like Nevaeh, where the so-called secret meaning is quite clear.
Instead, I’m intrigued by the difference between the meanings given by baby books and the reasons our parents pick our names.
Head to most baby name websites, or flip open your favorite book to Kayla. Or Kaylee. Or Kaitlyn. Odds are that the guides will offer a one-word meaning: pure. They might also note that Kayla, Kaylee, Kaitlyn and kin are considered variants of Katherine. As well as Kathryn, Cathryn, Katrina, Katinka, Caylee … the entry could fill a page.
Name aficionados will pause and reflect that Katherine’s meaning is debated. It is likely that Katherine’s origins are wrapped up with the goddess Hecate, she of witches and demons. At some point the name was altered to more closely resemble the Greek katharos, which does mean pure.
But if your mother loved the soap opera Days of Our Lives in the 1980s, she probably had the popular character in mind when she planned to call her firstborn daughter Kayla.
Or maybe your father’s mother was called Kay, and Kayla seemed like a fitting way to honor grandma.
At least a few girls were named Katharine in honor of the legendary actress. Those parents probably admired Ms. Hepburn’s talent and wit, not the murky meaning of her given name.
Some of the best names have backstories that are unique to the family in question. Mallory doesn’t mean sorrowful if your parents met in Mallory, Indiana. Then it means “small town where my parents met.” And if your parents happened to meet there because it was a dark and stormy night, and your mom had a flat tire and the repair shop was closed and your dad just happened to be in town for a meeting and suddenly, there they were nursing coffee at the Mallory Diner just one seat apart … well, then your name means “serendipity, twist of fate.”
Likewise, a name with great meaning can be tarnished. Robin Williams apparently named his daughter Zelda after the video game. It steals some of Zelda’s jazz age vitality.
When I say my daughter’s nickname – Clio – it means Little Claire. No, it isn’t defensible from any etymological perspective. The names share no roots, save that if you Google “Claire Clio” you’ll find yourself here. (Google “Clio Claire” and Belfast-based musicians pop up. Clio plays drums; Claire plays guitar.) But Clio is our nickname for Claire Caroline Wren, honoring my mother and sister. The origins of the name Clio matter – and please us quite a bit – but they come second.
This can go too far, of course. The Beckhams did not need to tell the world that Brooklyn was their son’s place of conception. (He’ll be a teenager someday.) And I don’t care if I went into labor in a steakhouse, I would think twice before calling my kid Kobe.
Obviously, I’m fascinated by the way names evolve throughout history. If I were a Kate discovering that my “pure” name had a wicked twist, I’d be thrilled. But it is only part of the picture – and possibly the least important part.
The simple truth is this: if you want to know your name’s true meaning, your best bet is to ask the person who named you. And hope they have a satisfying reason.
You know, speaking of Mallory’s unfortunate “agreed” meaning, I think you should do a special on names with unfortunate meanings. The whole Mary/Marie/Maria/Mia/etc tribe, Claudia, Cameron, Shannon, Leah, that type.
Perfect! We have been considering Cameron and I admit that one of my big concerns is that she’ll be mad at me for naming her something that means “crooked nose”. Every little girl wants a name that means “princess” or “beautiful”…
Incidentally, I hated having the meaning of “pure” as the meaning of my name when I was growing up. It was a lot to live up to. I was also a preacher’s kid, so I was completely lost in never-being-able-to-measure-up-land.
Great blog! I happened to ask my dad yesterday why he named me what he did, and he said, “I liked it”… no the MOST satisfying response.
I think the “I liked it” response would probably be pretty common among a lot of parents. We named our daughter Juliette Noelle because we liked those names — not because they had any special meaning for us. (The “special meaning” names in our family weren’t quite as lovely to our ears — nor could we decide who of the many fantastic women to honor; we only had so many names to give her!)
All that being said, I am always interested to read the meaning of names. I also think it’s pretty amusing when you find completely different meanings on different websites or in different books. Kind of gets you to wondering “who gets to decide?” It’s one thing if the name can truly be traced back… but other names seem like they’ve just been arbitrarily assigned a meaning to complete a passage in a book or an online search engine. Reminds me of dream dictionaries — who decided that seeing a mango in your dreams represents fertility? (Someone who wants to make money selling books, perhaps?)
Sorry, I guess I got a little cynical toward the end of this post…!
LOL, Kelleita – I know what you mean about dream dictionaries. And I think baby name books are the same way – because, really, there are not that many names in the universe that mean “beautiful princess.”
As a Katherine, this post tickled me! I was named after my paternal great-grandmother Kathleen and my maternal great-grandmother Jewell Elissa (my middle name’s Elizabeth).
Outside of honoring a relative, I’d be willing to bet Kelleita’s right: ‘I liked it’ will be the overwhelming response. It’s the same one I got when I asked how my folks picked my name and it’s the response my daughter will get if she ever asks me (it’s also a name that shares her father’s heritage, which made it that much more appealing, but that’s not the main reason we chose it).
I’d also say that even names with relatively obvious meanings, etymologically speaking, often have additional meanings that go along with it (take my name, Jade – the obvious is the green stone, but there’s also ‘broken down nag/horse” and “woman of ill-repute” – people in-the-know love to point those out – when I found those meanings as a tween I thought it was pretty cool, but maybe I’m just weird). In any case, while a history or a pretty or obvious meaning can be a nice thing and add to a name, my opinion is that the “I liked it” argument is more than valid for choosing a child’s name. It’s how I’m going to choose the next one, too… but of course, it won’t stop me from reading up on the candidate names for all the time left before he’s born!
JNE, I like your point about the obvious meanings versus the additional ones.
I actually wrote this after I received about a dozen email messages asking for the “meaning” of this name or that name. A few of them became NotDs, but the funny thing was that I never felt like I was answering the real question. The question was pretty clearly “What does MY name mean?” Not “Can you tell me about the name Jane?” Sometimes the two questions overlap, but not always.
“I liked it” is valid – but I do think the stories of why we like certain names, and what we like about them – is endlessly fascinating. There’s often a whole lot more thought that goes into the process of liking just that one final name. If not for my husband’s influence, I doubt I’d have used family names – but I’m sure I’d still have a story.
My mom says she named me Stephanie after Princess Stephanie of Monaco. I go by Panya [Stephanie>Szczepana>Panya].
Twenty years after I was born, while doing genealogical research, I found that we’re very distantly related to the Grimaldis and that Stephanie is our cousin. Then I found that my g-g-g-g-grandfather’s name was Szczepan.
So I can “say” that I’m named after my cousin and grandfather. But really, my name was simply chosen because my mom heard it on Stephanie Grimaldi and liked it, and I’m called Panya because it was preferred over the other nicknames and versions of Stephanie.
My baby name book holds written proof in my mother’s handwriting that they chose “Charlotte” because “they liked it”. That’s what the book says, my dad says I was named for some random great-aunt and my mum says that Charlotte was chosen because my dad was really picky when it came to girl’s names and there weren’t many that he liked — she agreed to Charlotte in large part because she was a big Jane Eyre fan. They always told me that Charlotte meant “little and womanly”. I’ve since found out that, as with most names, the meaning’s actually much more convoluted than that.
It’s ok though, I still like my name.
That is exactly why I like Charlotte – Jane Eyre is my favorite book.
My name actually does mean “princess” (Sally – well, Sarah, where it derived from, does) but I didn’t really care about that too much because I was more of a tomboy. According to the name books, my sister’s name means “warrior” and she was the girlier one so go figure. I definitely prefer the “we liked it” reason! Now, when I think about names I like, I don’t even consider the name-book meanings; I mostly consider the sound.
I posted this comment over at Nameberry as well:
Great post, Abby!
My name’s technical meaning doesn’t fit me well — it’s listed as either “rival” or “industrious” in most name books. Well, I don’t have any archenemies, and I’m one of the worst procrastinators you’ve probably ever known.
But I was named after a sweet old great aunt — well, and the wife from “The Bob Newhart Show” (who incidentally was an elementary school teacher, just like me). Plus, the whole Victorian literary vibe of my name (think Emily Dickinson and Emily Bronte) fits me perfectly.
I imagine that “I liked it” is what it usually boils down to when you’re picking your kids’ names. The question then becomes, “WHY did you like it?” It could be a name you heard on TV (celebs seem to hold a lot of influence when it comes to naming trends), or it was an old family name, or you researched name meanings and liked what the name meant.
For me, it was that last point. I can’t imagine giving a name to a child and NOT knowing what it meant. I’ve frequented a lot of name boards in the search for a baby name, and I have to admit I was a little disheartened by how many times I saw people saying “I have no idea what my child’s name means, and I don’t care,” or “Name meanings aren’t important.” I guess I’ll never understand that, because even if the name Cameron holds some special significance for you, you’re still literally naming your child “Crooked Nose.”
Of course, even that can be taken too far. For a while, I was stuck on the idea of a “theme name” for a girl whose name meant life (Zoe), peace (Irene, Shanti, Frieda), and love (Carys, Kerensa). And then I realized I was putting my love of the meanings ahead of my love for the names — because I’m not overly fond of any of those names, save for Irene.
In the end, I decided I just wanted a name that had a pleasant (or at least not negative) meaning, wasn’t overly popular, sounded nice, and would age well. In other words, a name I picked because … I liked it.
If I was named after the place I was concieved, I would have been Vacaville. It’s a long story.