Most of us have someone in our lives, someone we love and would love to honor with our naming choices for our children.  Or, perhaps, it’s a family tradition to name your firstborn after Grandpa, and bucking that custom would break hearts.

Trouble is, that while some names are easily, and cheerfully passed down, others feel a little, well, moth-eaten.

So what’s an expectant parent to do about the expectations of grandparents?

There are a few possibilities:

1. Pitch a fit and refuse to call your darling baby boy Stuart, just because your mother-in-law wants it. You want to call your son Jaidyn! This is, of course, a valid option. It’s your hand holding the pen.  And want grandparent won’t melt when they meet a new grandchild, regardless of appellation?

But may I gently suggest that it might be kinder to at least consider the family heirloom? If you’re old enough to become a parent, we here at Appellation Mountain rather hope that you’re old enough to think sensibly about making such a life-long choice.

2. Embrace the quirkiness of calling your newborn baby boy Angus, Vincent or Floyd. Obviously, this works better for some names than others. Everyone is happy except, possibly, your son. And you. Because while a handful of old school names are underused gems – Angus is fabulous choice – plenty of them are just awkward by the standards of 2008. So if you can’t imagine introducing your son Floyd without cringing, read on!

3. Add a J. This is a long-standing trick for distinguishing fathers and sons sharing a name; it can also mask a less-than-lovely first name. If you can’t imagine calling your baby boy Roger – a hot choice in the 1940s and 50s, prime grandpa age today – then can you stomach calling him RJ? Yes, he’ll still be Roger James on his driver’s license, but you don’t have to think about that. This works for any first name starting with A, B, C, D, J, P, R or T, so it’s worth considering.

4. Use it as his middle name. This often makes nearly everyone nearly as happy as if it had been bestowed as a given name. Grandma can introduce the newest family member as Charles Bruce, while you breathe easy.  It’s sometimes the best dodge available, but not every family is content with such a compromise.

5. Use it as his first name, but call him by his middle. The world overflows with people called S. Michael and G. Anthony, many for this very reason. You might feel bound by tradition to use the hand-me-down name, but nothing says it has to be trotted out for everyday use. Will it create a few headaches with paperwork now and again? Sure.  But if Stanley just has to be your child’s formal name, well, it’s not a bad escape.

I’ve saved the best for last, dear reader. If you’re really dreading using that family name, even in the middle spot, why not consider:

6. Remix it. Plenty of worn-out names from generations past are prime for a makeover. If you can’t possibly consider calling your new son Arthur, could you call him by the dashing and fashionable moniker Archer? Grandpa Walter’s name could be nipped and tucked and emerge as Walton, a surname choice that feels perfectly in step in 2008. Likewise, Richard becomes Hardy; Milton becomes Miller.

Here are a few other potential remixes, but the list is endless:

• Gary becomes Garrett
• Wayne becomes Zane
• Raymond becomes Ryan
• Ronald becomes Ronan or Rohan
• Harold becomes Harris or even Harry
• Roy or Leroy becomes Kingston (a stretch, perhaps, but Roy and Leroy are derived from the French le roi – for the king.)
• Ralph becomes Raphael, with the great nickname Rafe

Will your family accept it, or balk and protest “But Daddy’s name was Scott, not Otto!” Maybe. Possibly.

Just remind them that you could’ve called your new little person Jaidyn, and hope that gets them off your back.